first time mum - wants to breastfeed and not bottle feed!

[JK123]

Please help!My baby daughter is 10 weeks and a few weeks ago I started bottle feeding as I wasn't eating properly and thought by giving her the bottle would then give me more breast milk for each feed, how wrong was I! My milk has virtually stopped although I have hired a hospital breast pump to get my milk back up but my daughter is refusing the breast. what can I do??? I am desperate to breastfeed. I seem to get on the breast in the morning and for a couple of feeds but by the afternoon, she won't have any..gets frustrated and just cries and then I give her the bottle. Has anyone had a similar experience? What do I do?

Oh dear.
What a shame there was noone to put you right about making more milk.

You need a lot of commitment to reestablish b/feeding. Baby needs to have skin to skin contact for hours a day.
Lots of lying in bed and baths together will help.

Is the pump building up your supply again?

Hopefully Tiktok or Mears will come along.

Ring Assoc for Breastfeeding Mothers helpline.

0870 401 7711

Well, giving her the expressed breast milk is really good anyway , but, I think maybe offer the breast at every feed for say.... 20 minutues, then give bottle of EBM to top up until you reach a point when your satisfied shes taking enough at the breast? What bottles are you using? You could try and give EBM in mire breast like ones, like the Tommie Tippie breast/bottle feeding ones?

If tiktok is around she will probably give you very good advice. I'm not a trained breastfeeding counsellor but felt I ought to respond as no-one had yet.

I would suggest you carry on expressing, not so much as to make you more stressed, but at least every 6 hours, just to make sure your supply is still okay. Also keep regularly trying to get her on the breast, but don't force it. There's loads of advice about this here on kellymom.com

and perhaps most importantly, call one of the breastfeeding helplines:
La Leche League (my personal favourite) 0845 120 2918. They also have an online help form
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers (ABM) 0870 401 7711 from 9.30 am to 10.30 pm every day
NCT 0870 444 8708 8am to 10pm every day
Breastfeeding Network (BfN) 0870 900 8787 9.30 am to 9.30 pm every day

all these organisations have websites you can search to see if there is a support group near you - sometimes it helps to see someone face-to-face especially if you need help with positioning etc.

hope that helps, will be thinking of you

Tiktok or Mears what's that? Haven't had a chance to use the pump properly but i'm getting 1oz on each side.

Tiktok and Mears are our resident breastfeeding gurus.
(And Pupuce but as she has just had her own baby,I doubt we shall see much of her for a while.)

I suggest thst, if you can, you stay in bed tomorrow with your baby and relax and let your lovely daughter feed as and when she wants to. The more you feed her the more milk you will make for her. The more she feeds, even thought you don't think she's getting much, the more milk you will make for her. Try not to give her any bottles while you're building up your supply. Try not to worry about it - you are doing a wonderful job and every drop of breastmilk you give her is doing her good. Eat as healthily as you can to keep your strenght up, and drink lots - water, milk, juice-whatever. Good luck!

JK, I hope I can help.

The telephone nos. given are well worth ringing.

Unlike curlew, I can't tell you to just drop the bottles - curlew, this is not a good idea without knowing how much formula JK's baby is having....if the baby is being fed a lot of formula, you cannot expect the body to respond instantly to increased demand, and the baby could go hungry if the bottles are just dropped.

It's true, nevertheless, that the more you feed, the more milk you will make. Breastmilk supply is driven by frequent, effective removal of milk from the breast, and swapping breastfeeds with bottle feeds makes you make less milk - just as you have found

Not eating properly will not make a difference to the milk supply, but this is a common myth, and one I am often correcting on mumsnet.....

The good news is all this can be turned round - with hard word and determination and a lot of expressing!

Expressing needs to be done at least 8 times in 24 hours . It's great your dd will still go to the breast, so you can offer the breast as often as you like, but without fighting or struggling. If she doesn't want to, leave it....you want her to enjoy the breast not associate it with conflict. Give her what you have expressed, and you will (I think) need to give formula as well for some time, but you can gradually wind down the amount you are giving her.

Cuddling her in bed and keeping her close will be good, too.

If you look up relactation on the web and in the mumsnet archives, you'll find support and info.

Good luck

I'm sorry - I thought she was only having the occasional bottle -I read the OP differently (and wrongly) Glad that there's a proper expert on the thread - hope everything works out for the OP now!

Morning All. I have just experessed approx. 5 oz and I'm happy. Baby has not woken up yet but will in a short while. I'm worried if I give her my breast that there will be no milk, so am thinking about giving her the expressed milk in a bottle. What do others think? Thanks to everyone for the help. I feel a lot better and will aim to get express 8 times today. I will stay in bed for am few hours with my baby. I will be calling the numbers given above also.

offer her your breast first, cuddled down in bed and swap breasts as often as necessary. if she starts to whinge, offer her half of what you pumped this am and wait and see.

I'd say offer her the breast when she wakes up (there will be some milk there, you never run out 100%) and let her nurse for as long as she wants. If she doesn't seem satisfied (quite likely as you've not had time to build your supply back up yet), then top her up with what you expressed, but the nursing will be an additional stimulation to your supply.

i say half first because it would make me feel like crying if she had 3 oz and had to dump 2. of course, bm does not go off as quickly as formula so even if she had some, it will still be good for a few more hours if you had to offer it later.

Yes, cross-posted with sd. Offering half the expressed milk at a time (assuming you need to offer her expressed milk) is a good plan.

Brilliant JK!
So glad to hear you are feeling more positive.

No expert but would go with lemonaid.
She needs to maintain familiarity with the breast or you might end up expressing completely.

I'm sure Tiktok will be along with the definitive answer soon.
If in doubt,listen to her above the est of us.She knows best (as does Mears.)

JK, it's important to offer the breast. You will not have run out, and it's good extra stimulation. Giving ebm will reduce the stimulation - the shorter the gaps between expressing/feeding direct the better

If you need to give ebm, put the ebm into two or even three bottles and use one, keeping the other(s) in the fridge...no need to chuck any of it away. You can use one of the other bottles only if you need to.

I have just given baby her first feed and this is what happened. She took the breast for a few seconds and then starting moaning. She refused to take it even though I swapped sides. I then gave her the bottle with the expressed milk and a bottle with the formual milk - equal amounts in 2 bottles. So she's had 5 oz in total. I've also given her skin to skin and it worked a little but then she moves away from the breast. I just don't get it! What is the problem? is it the breast milk isn't coming through quick enough? I feel rejected by my baby.

keep her skin to skin as much as possible. even when she is not hungry. spend as much time as you can in bed with her just down to her nappy and you in your undies. this way if she just squeaks nuzzle her up next to your nipples.

it is not an overnight fix but it can work, given the time. it will be slowly increasing how much she feeds from you while slowly decreasing how much formula you give her.

a good idea is to spend time in a warm bath with her.

as others have said, ring a helpline to get one on one support. that is what they are there for. (((hugs))) for you.

JK, sorry to hear it was not how you wanted it to go....but you need to give it time. You can't switch breastfeeding back on like a tap, unfortunately. Babies have to be lured back to the breast and given time to get over their lack of confidence in it. Keep up with the skin to skin and the cuddles, and the patience. A rule of thumb is that it can take as long as the time since you first started to give bottles for full bf to return....you said this was a 'few weeks' so it's only realistic to expect a delay.

I don't think it will be a 'few weeks' though as you were not fully formula feeding from the start, were you? This has been a more gradual thing. Even so, there are no quick fixes.

Hope this helps

PS: JK, she is not rejecting you. She is only 10 weeks. She does not figure things out like that She is 'rejecting' a less than rewarding experience at the breast in favour of a more productive one....that's all. She still adores you like crazy

Thanks Tiktok. Again, I tried to breastfeed but she didn't take to it. I then gave the expressed milk to her in a bottle and she was fine. Have been giving her cuddles and she licks my breast and then moves away. Spoke to one of the support lines and they suggested expressing first so that the milk is there and then giving her the breats. That did work for about a minute but again she moved away. willhave to try and have a bath with her.

I was thinking what if I gave my baby some wate in the bottle , she would reject that and come onto the breast. She doesn't like the taste of water so could that work?

JK - just carry on doing what you're doing. Don't mess with water, deliberately doing something you know she doesn't like...keep feeding happy and relaxed, and not a matter of trying to out-fox her!

Ok. So I'll carry on giving her breastmilk via the bottle? I really hate doing this but it helps knowing that she's rejecting the breast and not my milk. I feel better knowing that she will sill take my milk. I think it's going to take me a while to get her confidence up in taking the breast...will let you know how I get on.

I spoke to a few of the support groups and they all recommended that I should express and then put baby straight to the breast. I did this but was not successful. Theres milk in my breasts but she's just rejecting and wants the bottle. As she was falling asleep today with a dummy in her mouth, I took the dummy out and gave her my breast. She took it and sucked for a while. I was over the moon! :-) As i put her down, she woke up.I again put my breast to her and this time she rejected it. I'm really confused - one minute she's having my milk, the next minute she's not. So again this evening, I've had to give her the bottle. Shall I carry on with trying to give her my breast or give up and just give her the bottle?

What if i didn't give her the bottle and made her have my breast? I read somewhere about parents cutting up dummies, etc to get the child to go without and it worked. Yes baby will cry but if she's hungry and only the breast is there, would that work ? Or would she resent the breast even more?