Getting stressed, breastfed boy won't take a bottle for my return to work...

[Sophiev73]

I'm pretty sure this will have been covered before but I desperately need some help. I'm going back to work in January, full time, and need to get my breastfed ds2 onto a bottle. He's never been really keen on them (we've been trying giving him expressed milk sporadically) but now I'm getting very stressed about it. So far (for the past month or so) I have tried: Different times of day / positions/ levels of hunger / person feeding him / bottles / heat / expressed milk and formula / noise and quiet / making sure I'm relaxed and about a thousand other things.

WHAT CAN I DO???

My dh suggests that really letting him get hungry (i.e. leaving him for a good many hours before feeding), another friend suggests stopping breastfeeding completely and letting him HAVE to get used to it.

I am at my wits' end - these sound such drastic and cruel measures. If I wasn't going back to work I would definitely still be feeding him and I intend to continue for night feeds. I am getting so worried about this, am crying a lot about it all. Does anyone have any ideas? Please?

How old is he?

Sorry, durr, he's 5 months.

Have you started him on solids yet? (not that I think you should have, just wondering)

Hi Sophie.Are you going back to work ft or pt?I had this dilemma with dd but she was older,and taking solids,and I was just working pt.If you can get in touch with Tiktok by posting a thread she is a bf counsellor and offers useful advice.

No, we tried, thinking he could have them instead of milk if he didn't want it, but he just dribbles them out of his mouth. We're in shock, as my ds 1 was raring to go for bottles and food, and we really don't know what to do with this one! ( thank you for answering by the way).

Thanks wrinklytum, how do I get hold of her? Is there s special way or do I just wait till I see her on another thread?

You could a thread with her name in the title.

Have you tried using something other than a bottle?

this is supposed to be very good

You still have six weeks as well, so maybe give yourself and him a break of say two weeks and then try again?

I wnt through this with both mine, and nothing that anyone suggested worked. We tried everything- endless combinations of teats/bottles/EBM/formula/people. The only thing that worked was those soft spout things, so the baby took a small amount of milk. Even the nursery staff had to admit defeat. All I can say is that they both manages. I was part-time, so easier I kow, but they just got through with a small amount of milk and a bit of baby rice.

Something will sort itself out, it always does. Chin up

Have you tried giving one feed only by bottle and not offering breast until the next feed I know it sounds extreme, but my ds is a stickler for routine and when i was changing from breast to bottle i took one feed at a time and then left it for a couple of days until changing another feed, once he got used to the 11 oclock feed being by bottle, or whatever, it was ok, the thing is you cant help getting anxious and im sure they pick up on this. Hoping u have better luck

Thanks folks - knew you would give me support! I guess I do need a break from it all - maybe it's got a bit pressured - then I might start experimenting more with cups etc. Part time - if only!

Have you tried the Tommee Tippee back to Nature bottle? It's boob shaped (well sort of) and is the only one my breast fed baby would take. He refused for five months but now at 7 months is totally on bottles - took to that one instantly. I found you need the milk to be warm though otherwise the teat doesn't go all squashy and boob like.

Have you got any other, older, babies nearby who enjoy taking milk from a bottle? No matter how enthusiastic we tried to be when drinking from a bottle so that ds would get the idea, it was watching an old pro (about 12 months old I think) really enjoying a bottle that finally got him to give the thing a go.

I would also second giving things a little while to calm down. We got into meltdown with ds a few times before he finally took a bottle and had to wait at least a week or so before each fresh attempt.

You do still have loads of time, as I suspect that once he gets the idea he will adapt very quickly.

I never gave a baby a bottle and I found getting someoen other than me to do it worked well so I was the person associated with breastfeeding and bottles were given by someone else. I used to feed just before I left for work and as soon as I got home.

Try getting his father to feed him from bottles but not you

Good idea lummox - he does seem to idolise his older brother so I'll give it a try. We've tried lots of change of person, Xenia - nothing seems to work!

Sophie, I wouldn't stress too much. He will be 7 months in January, yes? Therefore will be well on the way with solids? If he'll be getting solids in the day whilst you're at work, b/feeds early am, when you get home and during the night should be fine.

This is what happened with my DS. He wouldn't entertain formula from any receptacle and would only take water and dilute squash from a beaker. He was fine and I bf until he was 14 months.

Good luck and hth.

Sophie,sorry for not answering but was browsing through rest of convos.You could start a thread by posting her name as someone suggested but obv she may not be online tonight.Have you tried a cup without a lid?DD did accept this but it was quite messy,and obviously requires much supervision at 5 months.If it is a couple of months away you may have started weaning by then and stuff such as fromage frais/yoghurt is quite sloppy and liquidy,so would maybe quench thirst a little.DD would also take water and very dilute fruit juice.I also found after a while she would suck from a Nuk beaker which I got from Boots.Currently I feed dd before work,take expressed milk to nursery which she will now take from sippy beaker and bf her at night.I was very stressed by it all initially but it has turned out ok so far,but dd was a bit older than yours.Hope you get something sorted soon,good luck!!!

Sophie - there is no rush.

You have ages yet.

Don't spoil the time you have with him before going back to work fighting over this.

I suggest stopping all attempts to give him a bottle. He may then forget he doesn't like bottles. At the moment you are reinforcing his dislike of them every time you try.

Starving him into submission is cruel - what a horrible idea, sorry.

There is no need to stop breastfeeding - another bad idea.

Even if he never takes a bottle ever, it doesn't matter. When you go back to work he will be on solids and he can take fluids from a cup or spoon and cup and you can give him bf when you are with him in the morning, evening and at weekends.

For the moment, give yourselves a break and then try again, if you really have to, a week or so before you go back, using a different approach eg someone else offering the bottle, or offering the bottle face to face with the baby.

Hope this helps!

Sophie...I work fulltime and have nearly 7 month unweaned twins, I went back to work at 12 weeks and started expressing at week 2 to buld up ' back suplies '. This will stop you gettig in a panic that they don't have enough EBM when you do eventually go back...so maybe just focus on getting a good ' bank ' established ? My dds have breastfeed at 6ish, then three bottles of EBM whilst I'm at work.( 7-7 mon-fri ), given by their nanny,( though occasionally get back at lunchtime for quick breastfeed....I always feed them together to save time, also find ' let down ' much more effective with one on each side ! ), then another breastfeed about 7.30, and sometimes a small top up feed at around 11.30.You do not need to give up breastfeeding if you go back to f/t work, expressing is easy with hand held electric pump,( again have two, like babies, one for either side ! ), and takes about 15-20 minsx 3 times a working day,( but less for you with your singleton ? ).....my twins do not yet have any solid food, and no formula. I followed this pattern with three older DSs, with one he didn't take to playtex bottle,( with collapsible plastic bag ), so used doidy cup...but otherwise worked well.

Hi
I had the same thing last year (exactly the same age DD and same time back to work). DD would not take any type of bottle. I started weaning at 24 weeks and gave dd a boots soft spout 'trainer' beaker thing with a bit of water in. She loved it and held it herself to drink from. Then I tried her with a bit of EBM in it and she took it (this was about a week before she started nursery, so I was pretty desparate up until then). I then gave the nursery a couple of those to use until she got used to their beakers. Good luck and as another poster said - it will work out somehow, so try not to stress, just enjoy these last few months and Christmas!

DS was a few months older when I went back to work but also wouldn't take a bottle/sippy cup (at least not for milk -- I'd given him a sippy cup of water to try and he'd got to the point where he would drink some of that).

When I went back to work and he started at nursery he wouldn't drink milk from a bottle or sippy cup there but he was fine -- he was on solids by then and ate well at nursery, and he switched to reverse cycling for a while and nursed a LOT in the evenings and at nigt (we were semi-cosleeping at the time which made that easier). In the meantime nursery kept offering him the sippy cups of milk and gradually over a period of several weeks he started to drink them and cut down on the night feeding (in fact nightweaned himself entirely).

Just like you I was really worried about how it would work out but in the end it was fine. Really, it's not worth stressing about. Enjoy your last couple of months at home with him and it will work out when the time comes to start nursery.

just found this thread sophie and, as i am currently in you predicament, i wondered if you are still around and what worked for you?

Cathcart, I'm someone different but I had the same problem. I'd been trying to get DS to take EBM since he was six weeks old and have tried all bottles / teats / trainer cups on the market - he wasn't having any of it!

He's now 6.5 months and is just starting to take some milk from a bottle. He drinks water fine from a cup and will take a bit of milk but only half an ounce or so.

He started to take the bottle about a week ago after I knuckled down (back to work date approaching!) and started to consistently offer him the same kind of bottle / teat at almost every feed (I'd just offer him an ounce or so) and when I stopped getting stressed about it! if he was at all bothered by the bottle I stopped and put it out of his sight and didn't worry about it, just tried again next time. It took maybe about three weeks

We're not there yet - but he has at least got the hang of what sucking action he needs!

The advice on this thread seems good - something will work out , and if you can go straight to a cup then that's great.

Good luck!

thanks for your advice!