Really?! (Light-hearted)

[Popplemama]

As it's a gloomy Tuesday (and I have spent way too much time on MN today) I was just wondering if any other frequent pursuers are confused/ made anxious by/ driven to 4am googling by any particular phrases left on these pages?

My top two are:
'Get a sling and you can BF hands-free on the go'
Really?! After 4 months I think me and DD have it pretty much cracked but BFs definitely still involve sitting down, both my hands (and occasionally DH's) and my undivided attention. How does it work in a sling? Is clothing required?!

'I'm loving every feed'
Really?! All of them? All c.60 a week?
The lovely 'snuggled on the sofa with a cuppa' ones I fully understand but the 1am ones when you've been asleep for 17 minutes since the last feed? The ones that follow the surprisingly long queue in Sainsbury with a suddenly hangry baby and 4 bags of shopping? The ones where you pop off for a quick top-up feed at your Great-Granny's birthday meal and find yourself trapped in the disabled loo 90 minutes later with a seemingly insatiable LO?

Only a light-hearted thread as BF is generally going great but these phrases always make me question what I'm doing wrong!

Blame it on the oxytocin high

'It's the most natural thing in the world' .

No! It's a learned skill for both of you. Once I realised this it helped me to persevere because if it was natural, we just didn't have it.

With you all the OP!
Still BF at 22 months so clearly I'm all up for it (or too exhausted to wean!) but I used to feel like the worst mum in the world because I've never loved/missed 'the extra nighttime cuddles only we can share...'

Yep. Magic slings on mn!
I'm almost due with number two and have an 18 month ds so I've been reading panicking about bf a new born whilst trying to entertain a toddler:
"Just pop toddler next to you with a book"

Oookaaay. Hasn't amused him for more than 20 seconds whilst I've been pregnant but worth a try!

Oh yes the legendary hands free sling feed with a baby who can barely support their head yet and keeps falling asleep! (I bf and carry btw).

I don't cover - would you eat under a blanket?/Everyone can tell you're feeding with a cover.
I'm not covering for modesty ... my nosey baby will spray Starbucks with mum milk rubber necking if I don't!

Try a doidy cup...
Try every brand of bf friendly bottles, try the cheap bottles, try covered beakers. Unless you or your childminder like being covered in sticky breast milk.

All formula is the same.
It's all nutritionally the same ... but (as I found post weaning when I keep some cartons for after meal slurps when I'm not there) YOU WILL BE IN THE DOG HOUSE IF YOU OFFER THE WRONG BRAND! Stupid mummeh.

There are some really pretty nursing bras/tops...
Not if you're GG cup.

Dragon YY. Those precious newborn hours (and hours and hours. And once they gave me medicine to help me do my number 2s and I nearly pooped my pants! Had to unlatch, pass to dh and RUN!).

Also why does no one mention let down + cold = snotmageddon

Love these replies - thank you! And thank god it's not just me with the sling-feed bafflement!

Feeding in the sling! Finally the myth is busted!

I also marvel at people who manage to reach anywhere on time...given the 'on demand' breastfeeding!!

I've just stopped bf last week. DD2. So looks like this job is completed as I won't be having more DC. Quite sad actually.

Oh, the 'high' you get from bf, allegedly . Well I was completely the opposite and nearly lost my mind breasfeeding on demand.

Frusso After the tremendous pain of ds latching on eased when he had his tongue tie snipped I used to get a nauseous/squeemish feeling with let down

Hee hee - definitely agree about the night feeds. I did/ do feel like 'we are the only two awake in the world' but, glaring across as DH snoring, I didn't necessarily think that in a positive way...

I think that "Just pop toddler next to you with a book" must be a typo for "just put CBeebies on for hours".

But I did find with dc2 that I could feed in a moby wrap hands-free and could also feed one handed/armed whilst doing things for the toddler when dc2 wasn't too heavy.

This has made me smile. First timer here feeding my 6 week old reflux preemie, I am in desperate need of a poo and not able to go. DH is at work. On the plus side I have my remote control and phone, and still in comfy PJs.

I dont know how I'm ever going to breastfeed without my trusty cushion and I still have one hand shaping nipple one behind baby's back.

The sick feeling is unrelated to tt. As oxytocin is released, adrenaline and seratonin can sink.

They don't tell you about that as they think you won't bf.
Which is bad as if you have a mh or endocrine need you need to know!!