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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Weaning off the breast

46 replies

shish · 15/11/2006 15:16

My 5 month old is still refusing the bottle. We have started solids, on the advice of hv as is so hungry and the nights are getting horrendous.

I know there's nothing wrong with b/f for a year, or even more, and I admire anyone who can do it, but I don't wnat to b/f for as long as that.. So how will I ever wean him off if he won't drink from bottle or beaker?? I'm getting quite stressed already. I'm sure I will have to b/f till at least 7/8 months, but then how will I wean him off?? Especially the night feeds?

Tiktok, maybe you can help?? Or even Mears.. Or anyone who knows or has any advice

OP posts:
DizzyBint · 15/11/2006 15:17

shish- how did it go with the doidy cup?

bundle · 15/11/2006 15:19

our nursery was invaluable re: weaning onto a bottle so my advice would be get someone else to try and give bottles/teats like the Playtex range a go, I've recommended them to a number of people who've had success (and not with other bottles)
hth

shish · 15/11/2006 15:21

I haven't tried it yet - Wasn't sure if I'd confuse him trying too many things at the same time. How are you getting on with it?

I tried giving him water from a normal cup last night, just cas he keeps going for mine, but he just made a mess everywhere

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mustrunmore · 15/11/2006 15:21

I am currently doing this with ds2, aged 9 1/2 months. He wouldn't take any bottles or cups, but about a month ago we tried a Nuk bottle, and he did at least putit in his mouth. Now he has it for his pre-bed feed every night; if he's hungry enough, he'll drink 6 oz or so, if not , maybe only a few sips, but we just put him in the cot. He knows now that he wont get another option. This week we're stopping the night bf and offering bottle, which is very stressful. But he's much better than he was a few weeeks ago re taking bottles; its all just perseverance.

shish · 15/11/2006 15:25

Tried everything with the bottle. Will sometimes take from the avent, which is what he was drinking from when newborn. Took 3.5oz about 10 days ago and not much again since then.

Mustrunmore - Mine is probably too young to do this isn't he?? We've tried denying him is evening feed before, nad giving him the bottle instead, but he just screams the house down

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DizzyBint · 15/11/2006 15:30

with the doidy i've learned that the best thing is to have a cup with the drink in as well as the doidy.

pour just a teeny amount into the doidy from the main cup. helps minimise mess until they get better at it.

also, make sure you aren't tipping the cup too far. don't be pouring the drink into his mouth. just let the drink touch his lips and let him lap it up. it's not like how we drink from a cup.

dd now has her doidy with water in with her solids. she puts her hand out for it, i pour a tiny bit in and she can more or less do the rest herself.

we are still working on getting her to take a full milk feed from it but people keep telling she'll get better and better at it.

shish · 15/11/2006 17:20

Do you think I should persevere with the bottle and the beaker and see which one he takes? I give him water in the beaker after his meals (lunch and dinner only so far) and he reaches for it and puts it in his mouth and generally makes a mess - He managed to drink a bit from it yesterday

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DizzyBint · 15/11/2006 20:13

but are you holding the cup as well? and only putting very very little in? i mean like one teaspoonfull. let him get used to that.

and when you say beaker do you mean the doidy or just a normal beaker? a doidy is angled to be less messy.

shish · 16/11/2006 09:18

i mean avent magic cup

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DizzyBint · 16/11/2006 09:20

oh i see. i thought you were trying the doidy. dd won't take anything other than a doidy.

laundrylover · 16/11/2006 09:52

shish, is the magic cup an any way up affair? if so take out the valve to make it free flow so your DS can get the milk more easily.
On the bottle front, try leaving him with someone else for a few hours with a bottle and see what he does! DD2 downed 6 oz EBM with my mum and has never looked back. also try a faster flow teat if your letdown is fast....
just to add that DD2 at 7 months is now a prolific night feeder so can go all day when I am at work with 4oz EBM from a cup and some water. I'm not saying that is ideal, far from it, but just that he might not want much milk during the day.
BTW early weaning will make no difference to night feeds so don't get your hopes up - sorry!

shish · 17/11/2006 08:46

I have been using it without the valve. I've also had many people try giving him the bottle - I don't think there's anything I haven't tried.

This is why I'm so worried about how I will be able to stop b/feeding. Last night was really bad. He was managing every 2-3 hpurs in the day and feeding every 2 hours in the night. He had, at one stage been going 5-6 hours in the night. That's why we sarted the solids

OP posts:
tiktok · 17/11/2006 09:30

shish - just chill Enjoy the feeding you are doing at the moment, stop battling with the bottle or the cup, and forget about fighting. You are risking spoling this nice, close relationship out of worry that you won't be able to end it on your terms.

Leave worrying about stopping to the time you need to stop.

Weaning from the breast is not a big deal, and it can be done without stress and upset....and babies over six months or so don't ever need a bottle as they can use a cup. By then your baby will be going on to more solids and you will be able to leave your baby without worrying he is going to go hungry or thirsty.

I am not usually as directive as this, but I see so much stress and anxiety in your posts and none of it is necessary

Excuse the bossiness

shish · 17/11/2006 12:05

He's 5 minths today, tiktok, so I guess I'm getting quite anxious. The nights are so bad. I appreciate all your help and advice. Can I keep in touch with you?? I saw on a previous thread that you are a b/fedding councillor. Will you give me advice on how to wean him off when the time is right??

Thank you so so much

OP posts:
shish · 17/11/2006 12:23

Why is he suddenly feeding so much at night when he used to be able to go 5-6 hours?? What can I do to get things better again?

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tiktok · 17/11/2006 12:59

shish, I dunno why he's doing the night feeding thing....babies just do odd things from time to time, with no consideration for their poor mothers

I sometimes suspect, however, that this is behavioural, rather than purely nutritional/hunger (though in a five month old all this may be one thing).

You see this sort of behaviour (change in feeding habits, either frequent feeding, nursing strike, fussy feeding) at times when the baby is under some expectation to change or picks up some pressure. You see it in babies whose mothers have gone back to work, mothers who are trying to wean, mothers who are struggling with the baby to take a bottle, mothers who are trying to get the baby to feed to their (mother's) agenda....I think it's not a crazy idea to suggest these babies are sensitive, and aware, and because feeding/sleeping/comfort is so very central to their lives, they express their response to this by changing their feeding/sleeping/comfort behaviour.

If toddlers or children do this, we think immediately of what might be going on in their lives to cause it. I don't see that it might be so very different with babies.

If you stop the struggle and accept that when the time comes, yes, of course mumsnet (and moi!) will be here to help you wean gently and comfortably, and you go with your baby's flow, you might well find he relaxes and trusts that he can feed as and when he wants, and he won't express his needs at night so much.

Please believe me when I say I am speculating here, and that I don't think any of this is conscious in your baby, or that he is in anyway 'unhappy'. But there is some research from infant mental health specialists to show that babies' behaviours are indeed an expression of their psyche, and that he may well be actually finding excellent ways to cope by increasing his night time demands; he has a lovely mum who responds to this, as well

shish · 17/11/2006 20:30

He had gone down to waking up once in the night for a feed and then, suddenly, at around 16.5 weeks he started waking up a lot more. We've all assumed that he's getting hungrier and that's why, on the suggestion of a hv who was filling in for mine, we started trying the bottle again as I had given up a few weeks previous to that..

This didn't work and as he'd also been showing alot of interest in food, we were advised to start solids at 20 weeks. So, 2 weeks ago I introduced baby rice once a day and he now has @ meals a day - lunch and dinner.

I've been racking my brains all day trying to think why he's wanting to feed so frequently at night, but can't come up with why. I despereatly need to be able to sleep a longer stretch as I'm starting to suffer with some really bad headaches. It's worrying me how he'll ever give the night feeds.

I love him to pieces and do enjoy the closeness I get from b/feeding, but I can't do this forever.. So, I'm anxious about how I will wean him off...

OP posts:
tiktok · 17/11/2006 22:45

shish, I can understand your feelings - especially as it is such a dramatic change, and especially as you have tried to deal with it and made no difference.

Did anything I say in my post connect with you and what you observe in him, though?

suburbanjellybrain · 17/11/2006 23:22

I feel for you shish as i really got stressed about this kind of bf'ing issue with my ds (now 27m) as I was obsessed with doing all the weaning 'by the book' and did not realise baby hadn't read 'the book' and wasn't interested in following timetables! it was a steep learning curve for me... the HV was useless I went to see her all the time in a panic that he wasn't eating , still wanted to bf, wouldn't accept a bottle, wouldn't accept formula and was waking during the night still (co-sleeping made it easier) she added to my paranoia by refering me to a nutrionist when ds was clearly fine (excellant weight gain and health/ general development) he slowly built up his eating after the age of one and i continued to bf in the end until he was 22m after birth of dd. With dd I haven't the time or energy to expend on worrying and lo and behold she is a great eater at 7, she will accept ebm from any receptacle from anybody! And is off the charts weightwise - I am happy to cont. to bf beyond 1 yr if necess and know I can wean her off booby if I need too. We co-sleep which helps but she also sleeps better than ds.

Please do not think I am saying you need to do what I did... my main point is that each child is different and as soon as I relaxed about my sons development and eating habits I found things much easier to cope with. DD has been easier despite having to look afetr ds as well because I don't spend long anxious hours worrying about everything like I did with ds - babies pick up on anxiety.

you will be fine

suburbanjellybrain · 17/11/2006 23:23

dd is 7m not 7 btw

shish · 18/11/2006 11:40

Tiktok - The only thing I can think of is possibly teething. He has had symptoms since he was 8 weeks old.. I really can't think what else could be doing it. He's usaully a really happy baby during the day, but he has recently got a bit grumpy and cries a lot if one of us isn't in the room - really not like him at all.

Weaning hasn't been a struggle - thank god - as he seems to enjoy his food. If anything, sometimes he cries when the food is all finished, so I'm really not stressed about his eating solids. Just holding out to introduce breakfast at the moment thought.

Doesn't help that I've come down with a very heavy head and cold last night - Ihope this doesn't cause him to play up more.

OP posts:
Samo · 18/11/2006 17:45

Hi
I am in the same situation as shish, my daughter is now 9.5 mths, since around 12 wks she has not taken a bottle. I am b/fing in the morning before work and then around 8pm when she usually falls asleep while feeding. Over the last while she has been waking around 12pm and then again at 4am. As she usually falls asleep while feeding I do not have her in a good habit to sleep without the feed so when she wakes in the night I tend to feed her so she goes back to sleep so that I can get my much needed rest. I have been advised to give her water in the night so that she may not wake wanting it and will then sleep through??? I had intended on b/fing for a month or so, I do not mind too much but I would like to get my life back a bit so that I can go out have a couple of drinks without thinking that I have to be available to feed later on. Do I just need to be harsh with her? She does take an ounce or 2 from a beaker at teatime if she feels like it and also does not really eat her dinner very well, she does eat all her food that she has during the day with the childminder. I am worried if I be harsh with he and take away the b/fing so she HAS to have formula that she won't get enough milk. Any advice would be really appreciated!!! Thanks

shish · 20/11/2006 12:53

How did you find getting her to drink from the beaker and reducing the b/feeds?? I'm quite worried about all this??

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Samolee · 25/11/2006 23:20

Hi Shish
You will not believe what has happened since I posted the message. About an hour after posting my message I made up some milk to add to my daughters dinner, fed her spoon feed then while holding her on the hip casually put the bottle to her mouth to see if she would take it, she did!!! She took 7oz!
She has done this once or twice before and then not taken again however every night since, around the same time we have made up a bottle and she is now even looking for the bottle. Weird!

I used the Avent Magic beaker and took out the valve, I had to hold the beaker but now and again she did take an oz or 2.

Try not to let it get to you too much as from what I have been told the baby will sense that you are stressed.

I have been putting milk in with cereal in the mornings and still giving a b/feed first thing as I am still worried that she is not getting enough fluid throughout the day. At 5 months I was in the same situation and I was going back to work, I just had to drop the feeds there was no choice. I just ended up feeding when I got home and again at teatime and for a while I seemed to be feeding during the night but things did get better when she got older.

Maybe put a lot of milk into the spoon feeds?

Try putting the baby in different positions to see if they will take bottle however I was advised not to force the bottle otherwise they may never take it.

I sympathise with you 100% unfortunately though you just need to go with the flow.

azbk · 26/11/2006 19:31

It sounds like we're in the same boat.... My lovely little son, 24 weeks, has so far refused all bottles. Today he cried every time the bottle came within a yard of him.

I hate to think I'd refuse him anything he loves so much, but I have made the decision to stop breastfeeding. I could go through all my reasons to stop b/feeding exhaustion, feeling like my body is starting to fall apart but I won't, as I don't think any mother needs to justify when she thinks the right time to stop b/feeding is. I know that now is the right time.

My son, however, disagrees! It's not the formula he doesn't like, as I've tried expressing, it's the bottle. Have so far tried Tommee Tippee and Avent, and am going to get hold of some Playtex ones this week. I'll report back if there's a miracle.

In the meantime, I completely feel for you. But, as I keep telling myself, your baby won't be breastfeeding aged 18, so at some point weaning will happen! I'm hoping hoping hoping sooner rather than later, though....