I don't like BF anymore :-(

[FoodieMum3]

Just that really and I feel so guilty to admit that

Ds is 9 months and EBF since birth and I know I'll plod along with it until he's 1 because he doesn't know any different (never had bottles or formula) and it comforts him.

I just feel like I've had enough and Id quite like my body back. It doesn't help that he can't settle or go to sleep without it, so I can't go out in the evenings.

Not really sure what advice Im looking for, is anyone in the same boat?

I was. At 6 months I started mix feeding so I could get a break with the sleep (she's not a sleeper) while boyfriend gave her bottles. I HATED expressing - felt like a cow - even though I've managed to get a stock pile in the fridge for a few weeks if I want it. I carried on doing morning and evening feeds until last week, when I had one bedtime BF that just turned into a bite and scratch fest, and just thought 'no more'.

In the process of dropping those last two feeds I woke up at 4am one morning with really engorged and painful boobs and just had to let her feed. Because she was sleepy, it was nice and relaxing and cosy.. I decided then that that was definitely the last time. A nice final feed.

I do know though, that I went through phases in the first 6 months. If I was hating it I just had to wait a week or so and I'd be back to not minding it. I never loved it.

Don't feel guilty about packing it in if it's making you miserable though. I can't tell you how much better I feel about myself, my new life, my body.. everything really, since I gave up. And my baby is fine, obviously. She's sleeping loads better for a start (one wake up instead of about 10!)

Oh, my baby is 8 months old. I told myself I'd BF until 3 months max, so I'm pretty happy with my efforts. You should be too.

Not anymore, :), but I thought my 1 year old would be difficult to switch to bottle and then nothing at bed time, but it wasn't when I tried.

So, I'd start introducing bottles if you feel that way, and see how it goes. Or express and feed him with a bottle if you want to go out.

Oh, and don't feel guilty at all. It's an order.

Thank you ohthegoats. I've a lot to think about. He can also get a bit rough sometimes, scratching and pulling and then looking for more (even though he's fed and full). Just feeling a bit down about it all.

Glad you're finally getting sleep. X

Lweji, maybe I will try expressing once more. Last time I tried, he refused it so it's a total waste. He drinks water from his sippy cup, but not breast milk

If you don't want to do it any more then that's fine - you have already done 9 months which is fantastic!

I would try a bottle & see how it goes, at some point you are going to have to wean him off the breast to a cup/ bottle and so it might as well be now.

Long term BF isn't for everyone & you shouldn't feel guilty (or let anyone else make you feel guilty) for not wanting to carry on.

Could you OH give a bottle of formula/ expressed milk as a first attempt while you go out for half an hour? I found it was much easier for my son to accept a bottle the first few times if I wasn't there.

I was. I hated bf but did it anyway as I know it's the best thing for them. I held out til they were 11.5 months then switched to cows milk.
I was going back to work anyway and was so happy to stop.
I felt the same as you. I wanted my body back. I felt like I existed only for the purpose of being a food source and carer.
Do not feel guilty. You're doing your best. Youre an intelligent independent woman who just wants some of that independence back.
You'll be fine

Thank you all. Even just replies that others understand really help.

They do change a lot month to month, and you could try with someone else giving him the bottle.

Now that I think of it, DS never really got a chance to say no to a bottle, because I took off at 3 months to an overnight work thing and he just had to take it from his dad or go hungry, I suppose.

Just to clarify, I loved breastfeeding and was sad to stop it, but then it never got in the way of going away, working or anything. So, I do sympathise with you feeling trapped.