AIBU to have stopped breastfeeding?

[cheersfrasier]

When I was 17 I had an operation on one breast for a large lump. It didn't touch the nipple but it damaged the ducts. I was told I would never be able to breastfeed out of this breast.

I had my first DD 6.5 months ago by EMCS. DD came out with a damaged shoulder, which meant that she was contorted and hard to latch on to either breast as she would be in pain.

I persevered, pumped, tried different positions, put DD on the breast for as long as she would tolerate and it seemed to work. I got an infection in my C-section scar and was hospitalised with DD. After I had been hospitalised my supply had dropped. I started taking fenugreek to get it back up. I found that 12 fenugreek a day didn't work for me, supply-wise, and over the weeks I started taking more. Over the last four months I have been taking 35 fenugreek seed tablets a day and it has kept my supply up in this one breast.

The fenugreek has really taken its toll on me side-effect wise. I've had a permanent fever, diarrhoea, stomach pains. My body gradually got used to the amount I was taking, but the sweats and fever were difficult to bear.

When DD hit the six month mark I decided I would try and replace her night feed with formula just to give myself a break and more sleep. I also reduced the amount of fenugreek I was taking.

Well, my supply has dropped again dramatically in the last two weeks. I have tried pumping, getting DD to latch on every time I think she's hungry, 24-hour job back to newborn days, but it hasn't worked because DD is older and distracted now, and annoyed when she doesn't get the rush of milk so quickly and hits and scratches my chest and wriggles at the breast.

Over the past week my supply has gone down so much that DD is on formula. It is not agreeing with her, and she is vomiting after every feed. I feel very guilty that I have had to change her diet so suddenly. But I just can't face going back on to that much fenugreek again.

AIBU unreasonable to have stopped? I feel so guilty. What alternatives do I have? I have seen lactation consultants. All say it is a supply problem. I have contemplated buying breast milk online. Or maybe taking domperidone?

Do you think the quick breast milk to formula change is what's making her vomit so much? Or should I try and get her lactose free formula?

God you deserve a medal for getting this far.

Stop feeling guilty and give yourself a pat on the back. Relax and enjoy your baby now.

Without even reading, I say no, yanbu. And I mean it.

Now will read and give more thoughtful response.

I would try a different formula.

I don't think the simple change is the likely cause of vomiting. Maybe ask your GP/health visitor about what they might suggest.

You are definitely, definitely not being unreasonable to give up breast feeding. Fever and diarrhoea sound horrendous as does taking that many fenugreek tablets!

Have a hug, you are awesome and you will figure this out for your LO.

Good grief woman - to my mind you should have switched months ago.

It may be the formula for DD, it may be a protein intolerance or cow's milk allergy....it could be lots of things. You will need to work out what works best for her, methodically and systematically. And you will, there is an answer that you just need to find.

Whatever you do, do NOT feel that her discomfort is your fault for not being able to bf. Bfing is coming at an unacceptably high price, it's not a feasible solution to your DD's problem. Don't flagellate yourself, or throw yourself at the alter of your daughter's diet. Just think practically, find what works and move on.

You deserve a medal for getting this far. Time to put this behind you and get on with freely enjoying your DD.

I had no issues and stopped at 6 months because I hated it. YANBU. I second trying a different formula and talking to your HV. Have you recently started solids too? Perhaps it's some types of food that are not agreeing with her and the timing is coincidental.

If your OP had said 'I just don't feel like it any more,' I would say YANBU. As it is, for the love of god, woman, STOP!

I'm a big fan of bfing, but I really do think enough is enough. The vast majority of people with no problems whatsoever don't make it to 6 months, OP, you have done incredibly well.

Go to the doctor or try a different formula by all means but don't go back on all that fenugreek - that sounds awful.

Hope things settle down for you soon, OP, and really well done. Your dd is lucky to have such a generous, caring mum.

Lactose intolerance in babies is pretty rare but Cows Milk Protein Allergy is much, much more common. It may not be cmpa but could be worth considering. There are some good support groups for cmpa on facebook, a general one, a cmpa for weaning group and a cmpa breastfeeding group.

I also think you've been amazing to put yourself through so much for all this time in order to breastfeed!

Oh gosh you poor thing! You've done amazingly to get this far. Not unreasonable at all to stop. I think most people would have. If you wanted to continue - need proper specialist advice from a lactation consultant (GP and HV unlikely to know enough) about supply etc. But only if you wanted to not at all implying that you should. Well done for putting up with all of that for so long

I'm very pro-breastfeeding but not at any cost. You've done so well and given your daughter such a great start, you should only feel proud for persevering. Some people don't even try, let alone do 6 months under your circumstances. Get yourself well and enjoy your daughter.

I don't need to read because the answer is Yanbu.

whether you have fed a day a month a year or not at all. The answer is the same.

do what you feel is best. your feelings and your health are just as important.

tty a different formula or see a gp to rule out CMPI

Every single feed you have given your daughter is an achievement, I say this so you can take stock and realise you have done something remarkable and worthwhile. Stopping now doesn't change that. Stopping now doesn't undermine your hard work. I've got no advice about the formula but just wanted you to know I think what you have done is amazing.

YANBU under any circumstances - do what's right for you.

And with the specific problems you are describing, you are a legend to have got as far as you did.

You should not feel in the slightest bit guilty, you have given your DD a great start.

Definitely experiment with formula if that's what you choose to continue with. I stopped at seven months with DSand had to try several types before we found the right one. Hipp Organic and Aptamil in particular were a problem for him.

I say this as someone who is extremely pro-bfeeding - if you wanted to stop after 6 minutes, 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years - your body, your choice. Well done for getting so far

You have had a really, really difficult time, cheers, and stopping bf is of course up to you, and would be whatever experience you had....but it doesn't sound as if you have had much, or any, professional help with any of this.

The dose of fenugreek you have been taking is unclear, but it sounds HUGE to me....has anyone qualified advised this? There's no good evidence fenugreek works - that's not to say it doesn't work, but the body of evidence based on decent research just isn't there. Who advised you to take that massive amount?

A baby vomiting as much as you are describing - and I am assuming it's not just possetting - needs to be seen by a doctor, or at least a health visitor.

Can you find someone in real life who is qualified and easy to talk to and discuss the whole thing? Don't get lactose-free formula (why? She doesn't sound lactose intolerant, because if she was she'd be unable to tolerate breastmilk) and don't switch formula without checking first.

You also need to work out whether partial breastfeeding might be the route for you - you are clearly unhappy about stopping breastfeeding, and I don't see the reason to do so :) You can give your baby formula alongside breastfeeding, if that would be better for both of you....it's something to think about anyway but whatever....talk about it in real life first.

Hope you get decent help soon.

Bless your heart, you've done so well. You've not had it easy and you should be proud of what you've achieved. Try a different formula, I've heard a lot of good things about aptemil (sp?)