This might be a long one but it is stressing me out!
My DD is 3 weeks old and we have struggled with breastfeeding from day one. She was born to term and a healthy 8lb 2. I only used G&A in birth and no real issues during. I got some skin to skin time and tried to get her to latch but it didn't happen. I also ended up getting stitches which took about 1.5 hours and my partner held her skin to skin during this time.
Once I got to the post-natal ward we tried to latch again. DD wasn't having any of it and the midwives said she needed formula top ups from the get go. Obviously being tired and new to all this I allowed it, despite being aware that babies really only need colostrum. The colostrum was hand expressed and given to DD by syringe, along with top ups. I spent two days in the hospital trying to work on feeding. She managed to latch twice at the end of the stay with a nipple shield.
Once we got home the latching stopped completely. I express as much as possible (8 times per day including after night feeds) and we topped up with formula, using a cup or finger feeding. I started going to the local breastfeeding clinics (2 per week!). Tried biological nursing, different positions, with and without nipple shields. I tried looking at ways to get her to latch on. Basically she could get her mouth open enough when she is crying or yawning, but put a breast near her mouth and she just doesn't open enough! She is also very impatient and would only attempt for a couple of minutes before screaming for food. To the point of turning purple, at which point I always stopped trying as I don't want her to associate breastfeeding with stress!
The breastfeeding clinics have been helpful and she always manages to latch on there and get some milk, however she still takes a full top up afterwards. They just say it will take time. They also advised us to start her with bottles around 1.5 weeks, ensuring she is either upright or laying down with the bottle at a 90 degree angle, so she does have to suck to get any milk.
Finally after two weeks of this she managed to at least latch, however it is an awful latch that is bruising my nipple and she doesn't sustain it for too long. So now at least most of the time she is getting something, even if it is only a couple of mls.
A couple of days ago she actually managed a decent latch at home, in fact three times that day! She fed for about 15 minutes but still had full top ups after. However she hasn't done it again and seems to be less patient than she was. There is improvement but I am just afraid it isn't meant to be.
All of this is causing a lot of concerns for me. I don't want her on formula at all, so I am trying to express enough but on a good day only manage half what she takes in. I am also taking Fenugreek and eating oatmeal daily to try and increase supply. Expressing is really time consuming as well at least 3-4 hours per day. I've had my partner with me for 3 weeks and he has one week left of paternity. After that I'll have my mum for about 10 days.
I am also concerned she will realise the bottle is just easier for her and stop trying at the breast. She already calms down immediately when my partner puts her into the position for bottle feeding and frets half the time she is given to me for breastfeeding.
Has anyone else had a baby like this and been able to establish breastfeeding? All the difficulties I see online seem to be about bad latches or tongue ties. I don't see stories about babies just not being able to latch at all to start (unless they were premies). I am not sure how I can sustain this on my own, once my partner and mum are away. My midwife said at 2 weeks she would have given up. I don't want to give up and I want it to work, but I am feeling pretty alone with these difficulties. None of the other mums at the clinics seem to need top ups constantly or have struggled this much with latching. I could just use the knowledge that someone else has made it work!!