Toddler Breastfeeding Hell

[cakeface16]

Hi folks,

I'm bf my 21 month old daughter and it is just not working out anymore. She never really got going on solids. She waits till I get in from work and feeds and won't even taste dinner. If i try to distract her or stop her feeding she will scream, claw, scratch and drag out of me till I give in. She feeds all night every night and is very bitey. I feel like i'm going out of my mind and bf is no longer a positive thing for us. The odd time I have left her with my mother for a full day she has eaten 3 full meals and slept through the night. I feel like shit about this and its affecting our relationship!

I fed my first daughter till she was over 2 and weaned her by gentle distraction. It took about 3 weeks but was very gentle for both of us however I cannot see that working in this instance.

Please advise me someone how to peacefully end our BF relationship. I cannot go on like this! She could feed 15 times between me getting home from work at 6pm and bedtime and then feed again all night!

Thanks in advance!

Sympathy bump

Are you saying your 21m old has no solids at all?

Oh you poor thing. Am desperate for my DD to wean too. I got her down to one feed a day at that age (she has ramped up again now as I have a newborn) by cutting bedtime feed first, then earlier and earlier feeds until she was just having a morning one. There was a lot of crying but it did work. Advice I got at the time from MN was to only feed in one place, (i.e sofa) only feed if DD actually asked for 'milk please'/similar, rather than clawing at my top, and counting down from 10 as slowly/fast as you like to the end of a feed. Good luck, it's so hard.

I really feel for you. Some ideas, not sure if they will work, but maybe could give you some inspiration...

Hmm, if she claws, screams and is very demanding it might be hard to introduce rules, but I think I would try.

I used to tell DD she could feed for 2 verses of Old Mac Donald, and then mummy needed to .

If she was whiny about it, I would promise a feed when I had done and she could have a snack and a drink in the meantime (unless close to a mealtime, then it was some other distraction like a peppa pig episode).

For night weaning, I said milk only works when the sun is up. It didn't work, but it might be worth you trying?! In the end with the night thing, I just used to sing to her and stroke her hair in the first instance, and sometimes, she would fall asleep, and other times I would let her have some milk, but make sure I did not fall asleep and move away from her as soon as she was able to let me. It got to the point when she was falling asleep more with the singing than with the milk, and then she stopped waking for milk at all. She didn't stop waking mind you! It was helpful to make sure I moved away from her after a feed at night, because otherwise she would just help herself. We co-slept obviously.

I really hope you work something out that means you can help end the breastfeeding relationship on a more positive note. It is a shame when it gets to feeling more like a duty and a bind than a bond.