Weight gain has slowed again. Long post!

[squizita]

My DD is 7 1/2 months old. She was born on the 25th percentile but tracked the 9th till she started weaning at 6 months. She's only made a tiny gain (150g) this month! :( She eats 2 small meals (as in the size of her hand, real weaning portions) but most of her calories are from breast milk.

We have a system in my area where an assistant weighs them (who started chattering, in broken English so I don't think she meant to be scary, about her "no gain weight for 6 months" until I very calmly said "no: look at the graph. She tracked the 9th for ages, you're making me upset and frightened please may I see the actual health visitor.") and you speak to the HV if you want.

I spoke to the HV. She looked at DD who she said looked very active and strong, well developed. She commented that DD is 'bigger' than some heavier babies in terms of limbs and hands/feet. She felt it was a commonly occurring plateau caused by rapid development/mobility at this age. She suggested ensuring food is rich with protein and fat. Come back in a month, see how she is.

I mentioned I feed at night x3 almost to a 'routine/habit' and she looked a bit aghast and said at this age, only feed at night if they've fully woken and won't settle with a cuddle. There's no need to pre-empt and it might be why she sometimes refuses her morning BF and solid breakfast. She said she might well not need a feed every night and I could night wean her safely (not sure I want to, but I think she meant well).

So OK it sounds like all is well but as we had a rocky weight gain situation when she was tiny I'm still worried - especially as she sometimes goes a few days between poos at the moment, and I thought weaning should make them go more?

I keep looking at MN threads about hidden allergies where slow weight gain and firm poo are symptoms I know, I know, looking for a problem. Even though this thread I found describes exactly my situation happening to perfectly healthy kids who grow fine www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weaning/266360-10-month-old-with-slow-weight-gain-since-weaning-is
The HV says it would be most unusual for a child even with a hidden allergy to have perfect skin and be jolly. Plus her poos are going from creamy bf texture to thick peanut butter texture- and just to give her water and maybe natural dry fruit.

Anyway - sorry for the long post. If anyone has any reassuring tales to tell it would be much appreciated!

Hi Squiz!

I don't really understand why she's still being weighed so regularly? Would you have felt that there was a problem if she hadn't been?

Mine were all feeding at least 3x a night at that age. I think HV's often have unrealistic expectations re sleep and night feeds.

To be frank I think it's postcode + known to have anxiety.

Postcode ... there are some areas nearby with mums who need a lot of support. So the clinic is very belt and braces: if there's a concern, they see you next month and if you don't go they call you/the GP and ask why- which I could do without hassle wise. They can't say (to be blunt) "Oh Squizita you look pretty employed and not feeding your baby coke and Greggs, so we will treat you differently." I work in a school in the borough so know how it is.

A mile up the road is one of the most expensive town centres in London. Mums there have trouble getting into their HV clinic because they're so laid back as they expect everyone to either go private or have support from NCT etc.

Likewise because I have anxiety they can't be seen to be ignoring my concerns IYSWIM.

Just means monthly weigh ins for me. To be fair she had drifted in the past and the actual HV is pretty good.

I also think whilst hopelessly optimistic about sleeping through, perhaps I should just sleep and not wake up, wait then feed DD when she so much as stirs. I think that is my anxiety AND is exhausting me x3 a night.

Sorry you have been worried as a result of this visit, squizita.

I can't understand the health visitor's concern, and it might help reassure you if you saw her or a colleague again.

The weight gain is not an issue, as far as I can see. Weight gain does slow with older babies. Has your dd dropped a centile consistently ie dropped from the ninth to the next one down over a couple of months or so? Even if she had done, weight is only one small part of health and nutrition assessment at this age, and it should not be looked at in isolation. Clearly, your dd appears thriving, well, and developmentally just fine.

I don't understand her objections to her night feeds. These sound totally normal and unproblematic. I can't see that it makes any difference to her overall calorie intake except to increase it.

Overall this is a bit contradictory and confusing. Perhaps if the Hv continue to worry you, you could go a bit higher up the chain and speak to a dietitian. But if the dietitian also thinks there is something 'wrong' with a still young baby waking and breastfeeding then you might have to be prepared to challenge that!

Sorry, you posted again when I was writing! Are you saying you initiate the night feeds and otherwise your dd would not wake up three times? In that case, it would be fine to let her sleep and feed when she indicates she wants.

I also think whilst hopelessly optimistic about sleeping through, perhaps I should just sleep and not wake up, wait then feed DD when she so much as stirs. I think that is my anxiety AND is exhausting me x3 a night.

Sorry, I'm a bit muddled. Do you mean you're actively waking her to feed her/dreamfeed her 3 times? If so, you really can sleep until she wakes and demands.

Sorry if I've misunderstood.

I don't wake her. But I now wake at her usual feed times and yup - dream feed her if she stirs or slightly wakes!
I'm trying to get the calories in 24-7.

I just worry if I overlook an invisible health issue like an allergy, or don't feed her enough, I'll stunt her for life.

Hi Tiktok she tracked just under the 9th till month 5 then has drifted down to 2nd over 2 1/2 months. This coincided with weaning and her rolling/mobility increasing.

The main HV there isn't realkt concerned. She never is: says dd is fine. But I have to get past a phalanx of assistants (who seem to have little training and a lot of scary opinion) to see her.

Squiz- in the nicest way possible, this is your anxiety and I think you might need some help with it at the moment. .

There is no earthly reason to dreamfeed a healthy 7 month old three times a night.

Did you explain this to the HV and is this why she said to wean off? If she wakes and wants a feed, there is no problem doing it. But you do not need to be initiating feeds. She will most likely up day feeds or solids if she does sleep longer as a result.

The HV said it would make her eat more by day - I guess making life easier. She just woke and cried and did root for a quick feed (last bf 6.45pm before that) so will go to sleep now. FX she does indeed sleep ... or if not at least I will know I'm feeding a hungry little person not being anxious!

I agree - dream feeding a healthy baby of seven plus months three times a night is not necessary. I don't think it's remotely harmful and I dont think not doing it or doing it makes a scrap of difference to overall intake. A healthy baby just adjusts intake over the rest of the time. But you don't need to do it :)

Is there anyway you can find a time to have a private chat with the Hv? Talk about your anxiety, and how lesser trained assistants are not helping. It should be possible for you to go straight to the Hv without passing through the filter :)

At the same time you should be able to get some decent reassurance about the things you are worried about.

There's a direct phone line.

Last night dd was up 3 times very much awake!

I can't shake the things like hidden allergies I picked up off other mn threads. I'm pretty sure dd doesn't have any as she's in no discomfort and the hv said poo can be slow as it gets more solid.

Are you getting any help with your anxiety at the moment squiz?

You I'm managing it.

The back story is it is reactive anxiety after miscarriage (very poor diagnosis by junior doctors when I had a molar pregnancy leading to me being fobbed off until I passed out in the street a month later, then on to oncology etc ).
So the "trigger" isn't hcp it's hcp who aren't very good reassuring me!
And it's very resistant to a lot of methods simply because when I last used them they reassured me enough to think "oh no partial molar is rare, I'm ok" ... ended up not so.

Sorry - recurrent miscarriages. So lots of being fobbed off.

I agree with tiktok. Can you set up an arrangement to bypass the assistants?

Spoke to my GP who reassured me it's very common. Said most likely when I went back she'd have grown.

Today she became uncomfortable and cried after solid meals. They are foods she often eats so it must just be constipation poor thing.
She did a poo yesterday but it was clearly smaller than 4 days worth - though reassuringly not too firm or too loose.

Squizita, glad you are getting help with the anxiety. Sounds exhausting :(

The hidden allergy thing - I know nothing about that but if the only place you have info on it is from Internet forums, then I suggest it's actually not all that likely.

Please don't star estimating poo volumes and assessing whether it is enough :( no one needs to do that, honestly, and it's just something else to worry about.

I agree with that. Baby poo defies the law of physics. My one year old goes daily and today found the quantity from somewhere to go all up his back and out both legs. There is no rhyme or reason to it.

I think the teaspoon of prune juice I hid in her porridge might be working. Poor mite is straining and there was a smear on her last nappy ... We have visitors later. If I put her in her dress that will guarantee some kind of motion if we go by sods law...

The poop situation resolved itself. This was thanks to prunes and apricots ... you could tell.

:)

hello, I have posted on your threads before, I think we have similar sized babies!

although ds is 11 months so older he was born on the 9th centile. he has been up to 25th and down to 2nd but generally follows the 9th curve.

I fed him at night as many times as he woke until 10 months. then we got him down to one feed then he started having no feeds (and slept through, finally!)

I didn't want to stop night feeds until I was convinced he wouldn't be hungry! wait until you feel happy to stop night feeds.

with regards to weight. id say don't worry! I don't get ds weighed much now as im back at work but he is now eating 3 (massive) meals and snacks and he is still tiny! he is smaller than all of his similar aged baby friends. it doesn't worry me as I know he eats extremely well!

please don't worry you r doing a great job!

Thanks. That's really reassuring.