Conflicted about stopping bf my 3rd and last baby

[evertonmint]

DS is almost 11mo. Bf the other 2 until a fortnight shy of (DS1) and then a fortnight beyond (DD) their 1st birthdays. In many ways I'm just hanging on with this baby to get to the same point so that I've been 'fair'. He was an awful sleeper and so fed every 60-90 mins until 7mo when I went cold turkey on night feeds, so it's been much tougher to get here than it was with the older 2.

The problem is, the other two were only on 2 feeds by now and dropped them easily. However DS still has 3 during the day and 1-2 at night.so although I feel done, I'd be switching him to formula (which he takes at night or when away from me), and I'm not quite sure I should/want to have him on so many bottles at the age of almost 1. All babies, and breastfeeding relationships, are different but really I'm trying to treat them the same by stopping at the same time. So maybe I'm being silly even considering what I did with the others. Part of me wishes I'd stopped sooner as it has been so hard, but part of me feels like I should carry on because he still so clearly wants milk/bf.

I'm hugely conflicted basically, which is not helped by him being very definitely my last baby. You'd think I'd know how/when to end bf by now

Any thoughts, advice, ideas? Sorry if this is a bit rambling: the incoherence accurately reflects my state of mind on this to be honest!

Bump

The other two won't say hey mum you fed us up until this age, that's not fair, I wanted boobie longer. How come he gets boobie longer than us! If you feel he wants it, do it for him. I'm still feeding mine, even though I have been told he is too old (well he is 3 years and 5 months) but we can all do whatever is right for us. All I can say is once you make the decision to stop, stick to it as it is just too confusing otherwise (as I'm sure you remember) and it's so easy to give in when you really don't want to. Just feel confident in whatever you decide. If he is your last one ( I said that about my second, then had a third!) just enjoy the special moments you spend together because before you know it, they are 22 years old and going out on their birthday with you having no idea whether or not they are coming back today (or tomorrow) like my eldest just did.

Each of my DC was BF longer than the one before, and I have had no complaints about this yet (oldest is 20) even though the youngest was on the boob a good 6 months longer than the oldest.

So if you enjoy breastfeeding, carry on: it definitely won't do any harm and will probably do him good (not sure about the research here...). If, on the other hand, you want to call it a day (which is what I think you're saying), try offering bottles of water in the day and making up the calories with extra food.

The less you breastfeed, as you know, the less milk you will make. You might find that once you go below 3 feeds a day your supply dries up anyway.

I'm with you on he wanting to be "fair" to all DC. I've started the giving up process on DD (not really ready to, but need to take medication that's not bf-compatible) which means she'll be off by about 8.5 months at my choice whereas DS was 10 and self-weaned, and I feel that's somehow unfair to her, even though she was ebf for longer. It's ridiculous though as each baby gets different things - the first child gets your sole attention but subsequent ones get the benefit of your experience. DD is also my last and while I'm looking forward to "owning" my body again after 3 years of being pregnant or bf or both, I will miss those snugly moments. With DS I didn't know that our last feed was the last - this time I will try to treasure it.

Sorry hijack over, onto your concerns: I wouldn't worry about the number of feeds your DS is having. It may be that once he's onto bottles he'll reduce the number himself and even if he doesn't, it's a healthy snack. You can give some of the feeds in a cup if it's the bottles themselves you're worried about, and if it's the faff of formula making full-time, it's only a month or so until you can give him cow's milk.

You've done amazingly well to have bf for 3 years of your life - however and whenever you decide to stop I hope you are very proud of what you've given your dc.