Routine...?

[shish]

I'm a breast feeding mum - Am I the only one with a 4 and a half month old that doesn't ahev a set feeding and sleeping routine?? He feeds roughly every 2 hours, but not at the same times every day and doesn't always nap at the same time either.. Is this the saem with any bottle fed babies?

Everyone's different - some people love a set routine.

When mine were babies I preferred a bit more flexibility - pros and cons whichever way you do it.

I started to introduce a bedtime routine including playing at bathtime, bottle, then bed.

I'd say don't get hung up on routine if it doesn't bother you, but if it does then try to introduce it gradually.

Have you introduced any solids yet? You'd probably find he'd go longer between feeds if you did. But again - you shouldn't feel that you have to if you don't want to.

The only part of a routine I stuck to rigidly was the bedtime bit. He had his naked kickabout (!), bath and milk, then bed, at the same time every night as it helped him sleep better. Did find once I got into a proper daytime routine (albeit a bit flexible), I could plan better and found life easier, but it's whatever works best for you. Good luck.

I started him on baby rice on sat. How did you go about setting the routine??

.. I mean the daytime one?

Oh,bollocks to routines.
It's one of the few times in your life when you don't have to live by the clock so enjoy iy.

Also the baby rice is a waste of time.Plenty more calories in milk than this and you are only making extra work for yourself preparing it and cleaning up.

I'd leave that for a month or so and enjoy this time-it;s the freest you'll ever be with a baby as b/feeding established but they don't need food and can't move independently yet thus making them very portable.

I didnt bother with a routine... DS fell naturally into one. He goes to bed 6.30-8.30 (whenever hes whingy and eye rubbing), more often than not its 7-7.30. He started that about 5 months old. He roughly has 2 or 3 naps during the day (again, his "own" routine) and life gone easier not obsessiong about the time Especially BFing, once they go on a growth spurt, or are ill, your hard-fought routine goes up the spout! HONESTLY, your DS will settle into his own pattern... you could gently introduce a rough bathtime and into bedclothes to get him used to thinking bedtime is after bathtime... but, dont worry if he wants to play for an hour after the bath instead

Sorry, id drop the baby rice... try and hold off until 6 months. Good luck with everything

i always followed my children's lead. they fell into a routine after a few weeks. DD fed every 4 hours, DS every 3 hours. both were bottle fed. i can't remember how DD napped, but DS (5 months) naps a lot (around 9am, around midday and 2 very short naps in the afternoon). he started sleeping from 7 till 6 at night a few weeks ago and gave up his night feed. the only bit of routine that DS had "enforced" was the school run in the morning and afternoon, which is when he usually naps as he likes falling asleep in the pushchair.

it's all very well saying stuff the routine, but it sounds like you may want one otherwise you wouldn't be posting?

I'm thiking about the same thing before going back to work. Sleep in day is pretty essential for spacing feeds and night sleep.

To begin with, the feeds may need to be spaced out a bit - thru whatever means possible as it's difficult establishing any routine on a 2 hrly regime.

You can also introduce a daytime nap routine a bit like the night. Most babies need shorter morning and aftrnoon naps and a longer lunchtime one - but as long as they get roughly 3 hrs in the day it's ok.

good luck!

shish - most important thing is to avoid situations where you get stressed. As you can see already, different people have very different ideas. Solids won't keep him satisfied because of the calorie content, they just remain in the stomach longer.
Just keep sight of the fact that - like the rest of us - babies will want to eat because it's comforting, not just because they are hungry. So it's sometimes hard to cut down on the frequency of feeds, but you'll get there in the end.
I'd just give him one side, then try the baby rice. Then you can always offer the other side to make sure he's not still hungry or thirsty. It's trial and error, really - and there's no particular right or wrong. You're bound to get other posts telling you that I'm talking rubbish. Everyone thinks that their way is right, but that's b*llox - what's right is what works for you, which is why it can be so damn hard, sometimes! People get very smug because they have an easy baby that sleeps all night, goes 4 hours between feeds and beams every time it wakes up. If you've got one that screams every time you look away from it, wants to be permanently attached to your boob and gags on solids till about 9 months then it makes you feel inadequate. I should know - I had one of each! Luckily for me I had the easy baby first so at least when I had the stroppy little toad I was a bit more experienced. He's lovely now, though!

amijee - you're right, but I do think that some people fret about introducing routine because they feel that they ought to not because they want to. I've had friends whose babies never would take an afternoon nap. I've got an 18 month gap and both of mine had a nap every day, but only on one occasion were they asleep at the same time!
Of course, if you're returning to work then routine is a must. I stayed at home with mine and used to let them stay up quite late so they'd sleep through. By the time they went to nursery they had a bath/bed routine for 6pm. i think people fear that if a routine isn't established as a baby they will have trouble when the child is older.

hi shish
mine is 4 months and still bf feeds every 2 hours also ( night and day, im a bit of a zombie at the moment). im glad hes not the only one! he has now justs started so that he is ties and ready for bed at around 7-8pm nut that seems to be the only set thing he does.

sorry my typing is nt too goog one handed , im holding him while bf at the moment.

Agree fortyplus. I was one of those mums who thought I ought to set a routine and space out feeds etc. That only made my dd and consequently me, miserable. In my case, I had the non-routinised vocal (avoiding the word "difficult" lol) baby first. My second is not much better but what I have learnt to not to fret about routines and just enjoy baby and the flexibility. It is only for a very short time .

Shish, I am also a bf-ing mum. It is perfectly fine to encourage your ds into a routine now, if that is what you prefer. Your ds is at the age when he will start to settle down anyway.

But I just wanted to say that even without trying very much at all, dd did settle into a routine by herself. It wasn't through her feeds because for bf-ed babies, as fortyplus says, they nurse as much for comfort as for food, in fact more for the former as they get older (eg, even at 17 months, dd could nurse as often as once an hour when we were at home, but v. short feeds).

What happened was that I noticed dd would only get tired at certain times of the day (eg if I took her out in the buggy outside of these times, she would not fall asleep whereas she would previously). So the routine was built around her sleep times.

To encourage a routine, observe when your ds gets sleepy and then have a set wake up time, bedtime and for naptimes, take him out in buggy or nurse down. I would bother too much about spacing feeds, since it just involves hoiking up your top and your ds should be quite an efficient feeder by now.

All the best. BTW, Can't advise on bottles because dd refused bottles when I tried to introduce them in the early days, hoping to get her into a routine.

would not bother

A bit like blueshoes here. Ds didn't really have a feeding routine (well not a milk one anyway) for ages. At 6 months though I did start to gently encourage a sleep routine based on when ds seemed tired anyway. I found my life more manageable when I knew when ds was likely to sleep. Some people prefer to go with the flow and find routines stressful, others find going with the flow stressful. Whatever works to reduce your stress levels is worth a try.

Thanks for all the messages. I'm not obsessing about routine. I just see so many people saying that they know when they baby will want to feed and when they will want to sleep. TBH I've been going with the flow and waiting for him to fall into a routine of his own. After all, you can't force them to sleep if they're not tired and you cant't force them to stay awake if they're sleepy. I just wondered if anyone else was in the position as me

Definitely - more so with ds2 than ds1. Just as long as you don't mind then stick to what feels right - but for your own sake try to go longer between feeds or you'll be totally knackered.

Did the baby rice make any difference?

Not yet as they only have a small amount to begin with, but he is enjoying. How do I make him go longer between feeds?? Over the last 2 days he's had 12-13 breast feeds per day!! Don't know what to do. It's the nights that are hard cos a few weeks back he was only feeding once in the night. Wish he would take the bottle so I couyld have some help

I'll whisper this one...

maybe top up with a bottle at the end of a bf?

Whe he wakes don't immediately feed him - play with him - baby gym, tickle tummy etc.

Offer a bottle of water if he hasn't been 4 hours? No reason for a normal healthy baby of this age to be fed more frequently than 4 hourly - he's probably just wanting the comfort.

I would definatley do that if he would take the bottle.. That would be the obvious solution. I do try to ditract him from feeding and stretch it out as much as possible, but will want to feed, on average, every 2 hours during the day. Sometimes it will go to 2.5 - 3 hours

fortyplus- my dd feeds every 3 hours and is perfectly normal and healthy thank you very much. i'm sure a lot of mums will say the same.

also, when you say top up with a bottle are you meaning for shish to supplement with formula? that's a daft idea, as is giving him water. we aren't in the 1960s anymore.

shish- how's it going with the cup?

Dizzy - your comment isn't helpful - of course your dd is perfectly normal & healthy!! And if you're happy enough with the situation then that's absolutely fine.

But for someone like shish who wants to become a human being again and not have baby attached to her boob 24/7 then extending the time between feeds is a sensible option.

If you look back to my very first post you'll see that I'm an advocate of people doing what's right for them - not what other people think they should do.

If you're happy as you are then great, but don't imply that anyone else isn't doing it right if they want to follow a diiferent route.

fortyplus, you say "No reason for a normal healthy baby of this age to be fed more frequently than 4 hourly - he's probably just wanting the comfort."

I disagree, sorry.

Feeding more often than four hourly is normal, and in fact most adults will have something to eat and drink more often than four hourly on most days! Why do they do this? Maybe they are peckish, maybe they are thirsty (and actually need the food or the hydration), maybe they are doing it 'just for comfort'.

I don't see anything wrong with responding to these needs in a young baby.

I don't see anything wrong with trying to help a baby of four and a half months extend the gaps between his feeds, as well, of course, and most babies can learn to do this, using behavioural techniques rather than formula or water (these seem to me to be pointless - all you are doing is creating a need in the baby to have something else after a breastfeed which you need to prepare in advance , and I don't see the benefit to the mum - baby might not be actively hungry or thirsty quite so soon but it's unlikely to have any effect on his need for closeness and comfort).

Absolutely fine if it suits you - but it doesn't sound as though shish is very happy with her current situation.

I don't think that she should feel that the baby is the only important person in the equation - of course she should meet his needs but babies are programmed to be selfish little things.

Mine both had a dummy - shock horror - ds1 till 6mnths ds2 till 14 mnths.

I know it's not fashionable now, but if they just whinged a bit they'd have the dummy for comfort. They were both very contented babies just as long as they were getting lots of cuddles and play. Both seemed very happy to go about 4 hours from around a month old - but I can assure you I wasn't there with my stopwatch! If they wanted to be fed that was fine, if they were asleep they'd feed when they woke up.

They both bf till 7 mnths but had extra fluids & solids from about 4 mnths.

Was that right? I don't know - but they've always been happy and healthy, which is what's important to me.

Of course it's all fine....I just bristle a bit when I see sweeping statements like 'no reason for a healthy baby.......' as if it applies to everyone