Breastfeeding help/advice

[MooMaid]

Hi all,

Hoping someone can offer some helpful advice as I'm starting to feel down about the whole breastfeeding thing.

I have a 4 week old DD born under slightly traumatic circumstances and I can't really remember when I first breastfed her (as in how long after EMCS) but we did have to hand express and feed her using a syringe for the colostrum. We eventually started breastfeeding but she had problems latching on (doesn't appear to have tongue tie issues from what I was told by midwife) and used to 'faff' about on my nipple. The whole thing was stressing me out.

When I got home I was advised by my community midwife and support worker to use nipple shields, which we did. They definitely have worked, she latched on and fed without issue.

Now 4 weeks on, I've been thinking about the logistics of feeding in public and the difficulties using nipple shields will add to this (DD knocking it off my boob, milk spillage, trying to discretely put it on...). In addition, I keep thinking if I forgot to take my shields out with me, I wouldn't even be able to feed her!

So, I've tried a couple of times without the shields but she doesn't latch on AT ALL. I wouldn't have said I have flat or inverted nipples but when she sucks my nipple isn't very elongated so it's almost as if she doesn't really know she should be latching on to the nipple. Even when I view my nipple through the shield immediately after she's come off, my nipple isn't very 'long'.

Whilst the shields have been brilliant, I think they've made DD a bit lazy now and I'm starting to think about giving up breastfeeding. It all seems too hard. She's feeding every 2 hours at the moment, I'm knackered, I'm having to keep washing the shields, I can't feed her without them and they sometimes make a mess.... it's getting me down.

The support in my area hasn't really been that good although perhaps is normal so I've been considering paying for a private lactation specialist - I've seen one in my area but they're quite expensive and given I'm on maternity leave I don't know whether or not to do it (£120 for 2hr home visit followed by £70 for follow up visits). I'd contact my NHS HV for lactating advice but I can't even remember who to contact and to be honest, I've lost a little faith in the overall support round here (multiple things happened inc post infection missed despite me constantly complaining I didn't feel well), plus they don't really seem to listen to me or spend the time I need.

So I guess I'm asking if anyone has any advice? I've looked at kellymom and LLL but whilst it's useful advice, it's just not really transferring into practical advice for me. Would you pay for a lactation specialist to help you? Has anyone used one? And has anyone successfully stopped using nipple shields? Do you have any recommendations in what to look for in a specialist?

Thanks in advance (and sorry for epic post)

You've been through the mill and you're doing really well. Both my DCs were tongue-tied, both misdiagnosed repeatedly despite me being TT and flagging the same shaped tongues (I knew with DC2 to push harder for a diagnosis). I used shields with DC1 and they were a godsend until I got her snipped and she was able to latch effectively. Don't beat yourself up, you're doing a fab job.

I had a lot of trouble BFing and didn't continue EBF past 12 weeks with either - I just wanted to chime in with some moral support and to suggest getting checked again for a tie - see if your local hospital has a specialist midwife. I promise that one day this will be a distant memory

Sounds like you're having a rough time, MooMaid. I had similar issues with my DD, now 5 months and had to use nipple shields for a while. I was sure I'd never get her off them but we actually transitioned to shield-free feeding at around 10 weeks no problem.

It wasn't that hard to feed in public with the shields as long as I used a nursing shawl do I wouldn't worry about that aspect. Shields do take away some of the convenience of breastfeeding though.

The advice I got was to try one feed per day shield free and see how it goes, ideally the easiest feed of the day. I was also told that tge longer I leave it to transition away from shields the harder it would be. I ignored all that advice though and was a total wimp about going shield free and kept putting it off.

In the end we did it cold turkey because my DD went through the worst nursing strike when she was about 10 weeks and just wouldn't latch on and was incredibly fussy feeding. So I ditched the shields all in one go to try to get her to feed anyway I coukd. It really wasn't hard to transition and my skin got used to it pretty quickly. In fact it was less painful in some ways becayse the shields has the effect of pinching the nipple sometimes whereas with 'proper' breastfeeding DD gulps the breast and it pinches less.
So in summary: keep using the shields as long as you need to. It never affected my ability to feed in public or be mobile. It's totally possible to ditch then once you need to so don't worry about that!

Oh just read that you also got the bullshit 'shields reduce supply' rhetoric . I got this from everyone too when I said I was using shields. Honestly it's nonsense. I actually had oversupply for the first 3 months and engorged breasts so the shields were great at helping my DD manage the flow better.

One reason why so many bf support people and the like do have reservations about shields, however, is that they can hide underlying issues with the latch and flow. So for example, I had no idea that I had oversupply and a fast letdown because the shields mitigated these issues for my DD. When we did transition to shield-free I still had these issues, to a lesser extent, and so had to work a way around them. It was frustrating for me - and in fact I started a thread on here that bf is a big pile of crap and not at all convenient the way people say it is! - but I stuck it out and while bf is still not something I enjoy I'm almost in the home straight now of making it to my goal of six months of EBF.

I definitely would not have achieved that without shields. It was much easier to figure out the latch and flow issues at 3 months in when I had healed from the birth and was feeling stronger than having to figure it all out in those crazy first weeks. In that sense using shields bought me some really valuable time.

I never used shields with my DS, on the stupid advice of my midwife who gave me all the guff about them reducing supply and I regret that because I gave up bf at 8 weeks with him. If I had used shields with him, like I did with my DC2, then I might have managed to bf for longer.

I used shields for 3 dc for 6 months plus. I had several pairs which meant less washing and kept an emergency one in my purse (in a tiny plastic bag) as I always have that with me when I go out. Also wearing a scarf helped for being discreet.

I never had much success without them but had good advice from the feeding advisor at the hospital - I just rang the maternity unit and was able to make an appointment. She watched me feed and showed me how to flipple(?). Also you can try starting a feed with the shield to draw the nipple out then quickly remove it and try to latch on without it.

Shields are a faff but on balance less faff than taking bottles out and about. You could try infacol for wind?

Shields can reduce supply. It's not 'bullshit rhetoric' . There are studies on this phenomenon. In fact you had over supply, and the shields reduced it, so go figure :)

Shields can be a useful tool, but they should not be used without knowing the full story.

Some women get on better with them than others.

Thank you to so many of you for your stories - it's given me hope and made me realise shields aren't all bad!!

I tried removing the shield halfway through a feed - honestly, she was on the shield and I'd whipped it off in seconds and attempted to reattach, which she can do when she falls off of the shield but in the case of my nipple she protested majorly and wouldn't reattach so she obviously wasn't fooled by my attempts to remove the shield

This morning she just used her lips on my nipple but no sucking or attachment motions so I'll keep doing this I guess to get her used to the difference in feel & texture. Have yet to try having a bath with her and letting her 'feel' around for herself. Have checked out the flipple technique but not yet got the hang of it.

Also, what some of you have said about squirting all over the place sans shields and having to wash bottles etc makes a lot of sense so I guess it reduces my worries about leaking with the shields.

Before DD was born I had visions of BF'ing for at least a year etc etc - now I can't see beyond 6m! I'm sure the shields are 'hiding' an underlying problem but in the absence of knowing what it is and no-one around to point it out, I'm just doing what I can!

Moo you are doing fantastically. And her even putting kiosk your nipple is progress. She's got to learn how to feed all over again, it would be like us trying to learn a second language from scratch. Give her time, and plenty of opportunities at least it's not too cold to spend the day topless indoors

And don't talk to me about squirting, OH once commented that, whilst feeding DD from one side in bed my other nipple "was like a fountain, spraying all over the place" It happens I guess!

Keep at it sweetie. Do LLL still have a helpline? I can't remember if you've tried it or not x

*her on, not kiosk no ode where that came from!!

**her lips on

I probably could have written this. Have a 2 week old, also born under traumatic circumstances and separated from me for a while after the birth.
We've had real trouble getting him to feed despite really great support (SIL is a lactation consultant). He was early and so sleepy that he didn't show much interest. Also has tongue tie, that is being sorted next week.
Although she isn't really a fan of them SIL did suggest nipple shields earlier this week, and I'm so pleased she did. He is now latching on and feeding well. I don't want to be using the shields forever, but if that's what works for now so be it. I'm still expressing and 'topping up' his BFs but hoping we can start cutting those form at some point.

It is bullshit rhetoric when it's used to scare women off using shields, tiktok as was the case with me when I had my first DC. I got the scaremongering speech from my midwife about how they reduce supply when if I had used them, they might have helped me get through the first few weeks and then establish breastfeeding properly, as I did second time around. Don't you think it's counterproductive to give women only negative information about shields if they can be helpful to some of us?

And they didn't reduce my supply at all. I still had oversupply when I stopped using them at 10 weeks. They helped my DD latch on better though and stem the flow of the milk so it wasn't jetting out so forcefully.

Solas, read my post. Of course I don't think women should be told only one side of the story.

I do believe there is a lot of negativity about shields though yet they can be so helpful. But the support isn't there from the outset, or at least not in my case. The pros and cons weren't explained, I was just told (suggested) to use them to solve a problem but now DD won't latch on and the little support that was there has gone. Shields do appear to be demonised a little, IMO