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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Newborn feeding agony, please help

26 replies

MilchandCookies · 01/04/2015 19:35

Hi, my friend has just had her first baby a week ago and is about to give up breastfeeding because she's in so much pain. She knows I'm on here asking for help.

Feeding was going fine until two days ago, when it suddenly started hurting.

Baby doesn't seem to open her mouth wide enough to get a proper latch. She's tried tickling her bottom lip/chin as per Kellymom's page, but baby just opens a little bit and snaps shut. Baby seems impatient. DF is also finding it hard to unlatch, as baby refuses to let go.

Baby was gaining weight fine in hospital, but hasn't been weighed since they left. Nappies are fine, wet and dirty.

Nipples are bloody and split. DF is in tears near constantly. She doesn't want to give up but doesn't know how to go on. She describes feeding as torture Sad

I have suggested feeding on early hunger cues rather than waiting for squirming, and getting breast shells. She's ordered them from the pharmacy and is picking them up in the morning, but she still needs to get through tonight. She has Lansinoh and has been putting breastmilk on her nipples after the feeds and letting air get at them.

Has anyone got any advice? Could it be tongue-tie? She wasn't checked for it, as far as DF knows. She's also not in the UK and there is very little support post-natal. I am in another country altogether, so can only help from afar.

OP posts:
Original poster
MilchandCookies · 01/04/2015 19:36

Baby is 11 days old, sorry.

OP posts:
Ladyleia · 01/04/2015 19:50

Oh your poor friend! Is there any way it could be thrush? I had this with my DS and it is exactly as you describe - ask her if it feels like knives every time the baby feeds. Other symptoms are extreme sensitivity such as when you're in the shower and a jet of water falls on to the nipple - it is complete agony. There is usually a shiny look to the skin around the nipple and sometimes baby has white dots in their mouth (although my DS didn't). It can be treated with mouth gel for the baby and with cream after every feed on the nipples.

Littlefish · 01/04/2015 19:55

Has she tried a different position. I found the "normal" position ie. with dd going across my tummy, to be completely agonising. I tried the "rugby ball" position, with dd tucked under my arm, much less painful.

Is there a breasfeeding support group anywhere nearby that she can get to? Some areas also have either an NCT breastfeeding counsellor or and NHS feeding supporter.

Original poster
MilchandCookies · 01/04/2015 19:55

Ah I asked about white dots on the nipple/in baby's mouth, as well as the shooting pain. She didn't think it was that, but I will ask about the pain level in the shower. I didn't know you didn't have to get the spots for it to still be thrush. Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
MilchandCookies · 01/04/2015 19:57

Will ask about different positions!

She's going to look for a group nearby, and I've found a La Leche League link for her. She's not in the UK, so I don't know what there is around her.

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Littlefish · 01/04/2015 20:04

Re Unlatching - I used to have to stick my finger in dd's mouth to break the suction before I could get her to unlatch. If I didn't it was bloody agony!

Wyfee · 01/04/2015 20:04

I'd suggest using a silicone nipple cover. Some bf advisors don't like them but I used one for 24 hours on one side and then on the other for 24 hours just to give the cracked nipple a chance to heal. It helped me to get the cracks healed and I went on to ebf for another 12 months after that. I'd second using breast milk on the nipple and giving lots of air time. Just don't answer the door in a hurry!

Original poster
MilchandCookies · 01/04/2015 20:06

No one showed her how to feed in different positions before she left hospital. She doesn't appear to have an HV of any sort. She has a drop-in clinic tomorrow for weighing, but doesn't hold much hope that the nurse will be able to help.

This is awful. How can anyone be expected to just get on with it when they've not been given any help or support Angry

OP posts:
Lagoonablue · 01/04/2015 20:08

Phone a helpline. LA Leche or NCT. The? will sometimes do home visits.

Original poster
MilchandCookies · 01/04/2015 20:08

X-posts, sorry.

Yes, told her about breaking the suction first. I think it's still causing problems though.

The silicon things are what she's picking up from the pharmacy tomorrow. Glad to hear they really help! I know not everyone advises them, but I think it's going to be her only chance until someone can check out possible tongue tie and/or fix the latch. The pain is unbearable for her.

Thanks for all the replies so far.

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Sleepytea · 01/04/2015 20:09

If she wants some good resources, dr jack Newman has a web page and lots of YouTube videos showing hints on getting a good latch. She does need to get checked out for thrush especially if it's only just started getting painful. Has she always had a problem with the latch or is this a recent thing?

screamtoabloodysigh · 01/04/2015 20:11

Paracetamol roughly hour before feeding? Probably really bad for baby etc, but there were times when I just needed something to take the edge off - even if it was psychological.

nunkspugget · 01/04/2015 20:11

I used to use my little finger to stuff more nipple into my ds's mouth! He had a crap latch, and no amount of 'following the rules' helped. It worked, and got him used to the feeling of more nipple in his mouth, so....as a last resort tonight worth a shot??

captainproton · 01/04/2015 20:15

I had this with both mine. Almost like my nipples needed to toughen up a bit. But if tongue tie is suspected can't your friend see her GP or local equivalent, they could check?

pocketsized · 01/04/2015 20:16

Is she able to express at all? I found that having a mega hungry baby made them impatient which made things really difficult so got my Dr to give a small feed (spoon/cup/syringe - I think there are instruction on kellymom) and this took the edge off of DDs hunger and made her more patient while I got the hang of it. It also meant she wasn't on the nipple for as long and they got abit more of a chance to heal.

Original poster
MilchandCookies · 01/04/2015 20:17

I've passed all those on, thank you! Nunk, she laughed at your suggestion :D

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brimfullofasha · 01/04/2015 20:20

I had this with my LO for the first few weeks. He was tongue tied and when it was snipped things did improve slowly. He was very small and didn't open his mouth wide enough to get a old latch which I think was the main problem. I saw an nct BF counsellor and she helped me with an 'exaggerated latch' which helped. Everyone told me it would improve once he grew and they were right but it felt like a long wait. Best of luck to your friend.

CultureSucksDownWords · 01/04/2015 20:22

Have a look at the exaggerated latch (or flipple) technique - there should be videos and explanations online. It can help get a deeper latch. If her nipple is compressed and shaped like a lipstick at the top after a feed then tongue tie is possible. Also a clicking noise when feeding indicates a loss of suction which is another indicator.

Modern nipple shields are much better than older style ones and may not cause an issue. I used them for a few days to help my nipples heal after a similar shredding by my DS.

Fucoffee · 01/04/2015 20:43

This sounds exactly the same as my experience with DS1. The only thing that got me through it were nipple shields - gave my sore nipples a chance to heal. And Lansinoh. I didn't have thrush (definitely worth her getting this checked out just in case), it was just as if my nipples took a while to get used to breastfeeding and needed to toughen up! Hope it improves for her soon. We got through it, and I bf DS1 until he was 3.

Original poster
MilchandCookies · 01/04/2015 20:44

The lipstick comment has struck a nerve. She's now reading the thread herself, so thank you for all your suggestions; I'm sure it's helping. I remember the flipple technique with my two; it was really helpful.

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Flowergirlmum · 01/04/2015 21:24

Personally, assuming she's had some support from someone who has watched her feed/checked latch etc, I would tell her that at the beginning it does hurt. I was almost put off bfeeding my first child because I had been repeatedly told if you're doing it right it doesn't hurt and it did!!
A very good friend sent me a tube of Lansinoh in the post and told me that for 2 weeks I'd need to count to 10 at the start of every feed. After that it'd get better. It did and I fed her for 6 months.

DD2 similarly hurt like hell for the first 10 secs of every feed for 2 weeks. I gritted my teeth and it got better. Just because it hurst doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it wrong!

CultureSucksDownWords · 01/04/2015 21:44

I don't know. Bloody and split nipples is more than just it hurting whilst you get used to it. I think there's a little bit of gritting your teeth for a couple of seconds, but agony for a whole feed is not right.

Highlowdollypepper · 02/04/2015 00:05

Honestly with both my DDs my nipples were in tatters! Lansinoh is a miracle!!!

Original poster
MilchandCookies · 02/04/2015 05:38

The biggest issue is that she doesn't really have any support. I think I am pretty much the only person she knows who has breastfed (DD self-weaned at 2.9 and DS is still going strong at 13 mo).

I would agree that feeding is painful at the beginning. And the advice about gritting your teeth is quite right. It's not an easy thing to get through, and that's when it's all going right! But I think it's more than this for DF.

She's found a group at her hospital this morning, so I'm really hoping she can get some proper hands-on help from the midwives there. They need to watch her latch on and do a full feed, and get baby checked for tongue-tie. And thrush. If there's no physical reason for the bad latch, she needs help getting baby to open her mouth wider. The exaggerated latch videos might help there.

And she's picking up the breast shells this morning, too. Those and Lansinoh will help her nipples heal.

Really appreciate all the help and suggestions. Flowers

OP posts:
Sparkly1234 · 02/04/2015 08:25

I found the first couple of weeks of bf hard and painful and nipples were sore. But after that it got a lot better. I started to use the rugby ball hold as well and that was loads better for the latch and pain, I have now been able to go back to the normal position.
Also my dd doesn't open her mouth a lot and claps shut quickly, so I also help with pushing my nipple in as she open her mouth. It has helped a lot.
My dd also has a slight tongue tie but it is a stretchy one and we haven't had it cut as she started to feed ok.

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