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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

When did you stop breast feeding?

47 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 24/03/2015 22:04

I have a just turned one year old DS who I'm still BF and when I look into the future I feel confused about how will I ever stop?

I never thought I'd BF this long, I used to think it's something I would only do whilst he was a little baby but now that he's older it still feels just as natural to BF as it did when he was completely EBF.

I always thought I would stop before he reached an age where it became an issue - I.e before he hit an age where he'd demand a BF and scream if he didn't get it. I planned on the transfer from BF to FF being something I could do gradually whilst DS was too young to notice it care but I think I've missed that boat. DS only has to hear the word "milk" and he comes running over to me and starts trying to pull my top off.

I wanted to stop before I returned to work after Mat Leave but that time had been and gone.

I can't imagine being a prolonged BF'er but nor can I picture how I will bring it to an end.

Did you all have a set date as to when you were going to stop? Or did it just happen naturally?

I find myself irrationally fretting over it....

OP posts:

IAmAPaleontologist · 26/03/2015 15:00

I wouldn't fret about it. However, what you can do if you want to is begin to gently insist on good manners, just as you do for other things. Though tbh a 1 year old might take a while to get the idea!

Non breast fed children stick their hands down tops too .

Ds1 was 13 months, gradually stopped by himself. Took me by surprise really.

Dd was 21/22 months ish. I stopped. I had depression and had it fixed in my head that this was the thing was stopping me from getting better. It wasn't of course but try telling someone with depression that! She had good language skills and was perfectly capable of understanding "all gone" so that's what I said and after shouting about it for a bit she accepted it and that was that.

Ds2 is turned 3 this month. I thought I'd stopped as it had been a good week and half since his last feed and then he asked so we are not quite finished but nearly. He hasn't fed outside the house for a long time. As he got bigger and his understanding developed I asked him to wait if he asked for milk while I was busy and so on. I got him to say please, to not lift my top but to ask and let mummy do it and so on. We established a bit of a habit of sitting and snuggling on a particular chair so he'd ask for milk, bring me our blanket and we could snuggle. We are all different though, that worked for me and I preferred having a few boundaries rather than a free for all. I still pretty much fed on demand, I jsut didn't drop everything every time he asked. Now when he asks (once a week ish) it is usually because he has got into bed with me in the morning and figures he might as well have a feed instead of getting out of bed for breakfast .

BeCool · 26/03/2015 15:01

I stopped both at around 18-20 months. Both "stops" coincided with me having the flu or something similar and the DC being looked after more by their Dad for a few days. It was fairly painless for us all both times.

I do miss BF too - not that I would want to be BF a 4yo now.

Laquila · 26/03/2015 15:29

"Home is stressful, bfing is a few minutes of peace, for ds and me."

Totally agree with whoever said this upthread! I stopped at 19 months and found it easier than I'd expected, and curiously liberating, even bough I was only doing one bf before bed by that stage anyway.

I think a lot of women get themselves worked up necessarily over when to bf. My attitude was that I'd put soooo much hard work in to bf that I didn't want to end up resentful of that one last feed, or hating the fact that I was worrying about when to stop, so I thought it was better to go out on a high!

I think it's important to remember that just because you've bf for longer than is expected/typical, it doesn't mean that you MUST wait for your child to self-wean. It's perfectly acceptable for it to be your decision :)

AnythingNotEverything · 26/03/2015 15:39

I remember your early posts too So pleased you managed to carry on.

I only ever intended to feed to 3 or 6 months, but at each age it felt easier to continue than change to formula.

We dropped to morning and bedtime feeds at about 11 months, dropped the bedtime feed at about a year and by the time we stopped at 14 months we'd only been feeding every other morning for a few weeks.

I consciously cut down as I was expecting again and didn't want to tandem feed.

HandMini · 26/03/2015 15:48

I bf DC1 to 6 months and DC2 to about 8 weeks. DC1 I stopped gradually replacing one feed a week with bottle, so took about 6/7 weeks to stop. It went fine. With DC2 I needed a breast op so stopped fairly abruptly. They both adapted fine, tho I think, as with anything baby related, a slow gentle approach is preferable and it takes as long as it takes.

However you don't sound like you particularly want to stop, so unless it's affecting your life negatively, keep up the good work.

freelancegirl · 26/03/2015 15:49

You might find he stops on his own accord. Ds1 started laughing hysterically for one feed aged 13 months and refused to do it again! It was a nice way to stop actually as he was clearly very happy with his decision :) Am currently EBF ds2 (3mo) and thinking about stopping at 6 months but I know in reality will probably go on longer as after 6 months is when it, as I recall, all feels much easier.

A year feels good to me personally.

Booboostoo · 26/03/2015 15:58

DD stopped at 3.1yo when I was pregnant and my milk dried up. I thought she would re-start 10 weeks later when the baby arrived but she seemed to have forgotten how to latch and suck. Crazy as it seems I feel a bit guilty she was 'forced' into stopping by my pregnancy.

DS is 7mo now so can continue for as long as he likes, but he is completely different from DD. For DD the breast was the best form of comfort and impossible to replace with anything else. For DS the breast is food and he seems more interested in solids than the breast already.

Levismum · 26/03/2015 16:11

Dd self weaned at 11 months. She won't drink from a bottle even now. She rarely drinks milk so i wish she had continued to bf.
I never planned to bf. I had no plan to stop either. ..just went with what dd wanted. I thought she'd be a toddler at the very least.

weebairn · 30/03/2015 17:28

It happened quite naturally for us at 20 months. Feeds just dropped and dropped and she lost interest as there wasn't much milk.

I was pregnant - that may not be part of your plans!!

weebairn · 30/03/2015 17:29

Booboostoo - I feel like that at times too (guilty that my pregnancy probably made weaning happen earlier).

My DD2 is 6 months old now and also doesn't seem to use my boobs for comfort - 5 mins per feed, then done! This is handy when looking after a toddler too but it does make you wonder what is innate to baby and what is due to second babies being put down a lot more!!

Harverina · 31/03/2015 00:47

Dd1 stopped herself at 2.5. We had moved in with my in laws while waiting for our new house to be ready and I think she was just distracted. In the morning she would go in to see her grandparents and watch TV instead of coming in beside DH and I for a bf and cuddle.

Dd2 is 17 months old and still enjoying being bf. No idea when we will stop. I think 2.5 is probably around the time when I would try to wean.

Harverina · 31/03/2015 00:50

Dd2 is 17 months old and still enjoying being bf. No idea when we will stop. I think 2.5 is probably around the time when I would try to wean.

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 31/03/2015 12:46

It seems pretty common then for it to continue until the early childhood years.

The longer I BF for the harder I envisage it to stop in terms of DS not being happy about it.

He only BF's when we are at home (when he wakes up and before he goes to bed) so it doesn't really have any impact on my life.

For some reason though I just can't imagine breast feeding a young child.

A woman I work with is currently BF'ing her 18 month old and she said that sometimes her 5 year old pops on for a quick go

OP posts:

Kreggle · 31/03/2015 12:52

I stopped at 20 months. Had been thinking about doing it at the beginning of this year but dd caught a really bad cold and went off feeds so we continued not feeding, changed to a beaker of milk at night instead and did gradual retreat (was feeding to sleep up to that point) It was so easy and i was pleased to stop even though it was earlier than i hoped.

No idea what i would have done if she;d not gotten poorley though!

elliejjtiny · 03/04/2015 13:25

My babies all self weaned.
DS1 was 14 months
DS2 was 18 months
DS3 was 23 months
DS4 didn't breastfeed
DS5 is still going at 9 months

Seff · 03/04/2015 15:15

Bedtime only from around 3, then it gradually became less and less until she was only feeding once or twice a week. Her last feed was when she was a couple of months past 4.

I wasn't planning on going that long but for a while it was a great way to get her to stay still long enough to go to sleep!

BendyMum15 · 05/04/2015 20:53

I never had a plan as to when I wouls stop and just went with it. DS was about 18 months when he stopped breastfeeding. He was only feeding before bed anyway as just dropped the others feeds himself. At about 14 months I started a dance class so DH started giving him a cup of warm cows milk once a week at bedtime while I was out. He then slowly got to a stage where he would drink either cows or breastmilk before bed and eventually just didn't seem fussed with the breastmilk and would feed for about 30 seconds before popping off.
I am currently feeding 11 month old DD morning, evening and at night. I plan to just see how it goes but will introduce warm cows milk when she is 1 so if I don't need to be around at bedtime all the time.

CityDweller · 09/04/2015 12:51

In my (limited) experience it winds down naturally in quite a nice/ relaxed way. DD (2) still has the occasional morning feed, but it's down to only once or twice a week. She dropped the bedtime feed of her own accord about 6 months ago by asking for 'blue milk' (aka cow milk) instead. She'd been on just morning and bedtime feeds since a year old.

I'm pregnant so I'm hoping/ expecting she'll stop asking for 'booby' altogether soon as my milk changes. (Note to self: next time don't call it booby as it was a bit when she went through phase of telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about wanting to see Mummy's Boobies/ eating Mummy's boobies)

Clarella · 11/04/2015 18:48

I found being a member of my local lll facebook group really helpful - tjey also have a toddler group as the needs of posting mums are different.

It both helped me work out what was best for US (that being me and my son, as its a two way thing) and to read how others approached weaning - either naturally, planned, etc. And this is ok. Just sharing experiences and worries has been very supportive to help you feel confident in what ever choice you make.

I never intended to but I still feel ds at 28 mo, he's not a boob monster in the day though, only at night sometimes. I'm trying to weigh up night weaning, though I know I'm his case it won't change wake ups. He's accepted cups of milk instead recently.

Don't offer don't refuse is a method many use for a while whilst they're trying to work it out.

We had so much nursery related illness I didn't quite get round to thinking of stopping.

Clarella · 11/04/2015 18:49

I've found it exceptionally useful to calm and sort out toddler tantrums and meltdowns though.

Clarella · 11/04/2015 18:50

Oh and I went away for a night, then he went away with his dad recently and that worked well, though he's of an age to understand who is where.

kent43 · 12/04/2015 07:36

1st child bottlefed as breastfeeding didn't work. Was determined to feed ds1 and stopped at about 9 months. Dd2 still feeding at 28 months as she loves it despite mcvh negatively from family and friends.

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