Demand feeding

[shish]

I'm breast feeding and desperatley trying to get my beby to take the bottle. But I had a question... When does it stop being demand feeding? You see parents telling their babies/ toddlers 'milk time now' and giving a bottle. Is it when they have a routine with their food?? Getting very tired with my 19 week old feeding every 2 hours!!

I know this is a touchy subject sometimes on MN, but lots of people start to introduce some solids before 6 months if the baby is showing signs of wanting some. Do you think that your little chap might be ready to be weaned? The WHO guidelines say to wean at around 6 months, but I understand that some babies benefit from having some solids (just little tastes) from 4 months onwards. Obviously you would keep giving lots of milk feeds too.

I know what you mean Shish I really do, we have been trying to get my ds to take a bottle for the last 12 weeks (now 15 weeks) He refuses every time, I too had a similar experience at the hairdresers it was awful.
But at least the doidy means I can pop into town without worrying myself sick that my ds is going hungry. This morning I had 2 1/2 hours uninterrupted sleep because my dp gave ds a small feed using the doidy

Hi, couldn't reply all day today, i was working!

Baby whisperer is a great book - it really helped me communicate better with DS when he was born and gave me lots of confidence (in learning to recognise the type of cry, a tired cry, a hungry cry, etc.) I don't often recommend books because they won't fit everyone's taste, but it really helped me more with understanding the baby's needs than to establish a 'routine'.

The best way to recognise a pattern is to write it down, so for a few days, you write down at what time your baby eats and sleeps. You might be surprised and recognise some parters, then you reinforce them by sticking to the same time every day.

Also, some babies just need to suck - my DS never took a dummy he always spat it out (projectile!) but you might find that it will just reassure your baby to be held for a few minutes with the dummy, then take the dummy out and then go with some play time or a walk. It might help the next feed to be longer and more satisfying for him.

Another thing - 'schedules' get disturbed loads by teething which might be what's happening now. DS had his first tooth at 5 months and although he didn't cry much, he kept on waking up and demanding much more attention during the day.

as for the bottle, DS started taking a beaker before he actually accepted a bottle, so you might want to try that!

hi

i would like to add my experiences to this whole contentious subject. My ds is 13.5 weeks and up until a few days ago was feeding 2 hrly at the most. The situation was made worse after spending some time on hols in a hot place. He had been given a bottle of ebm a day but because i didn't do it on hols - he completely refused the bottle.

As i am returning to work i decided to crack the bottle thing which effectively meant him going on a hunger strike for most of a day whilst i expressed and dh and myself offered a bottle. He eventually took it from me but i would hand over to dh as soon as he was sucking and he would finish. The whole battle lasted 48hrs or so and was extremely distressing.

It did however teach me a few things. 1. that he could go a lot longer bet feeds than i thought - on the bottle he was doing 3 hrsor more 2. that he had got used to feeding to sleep 3. that i could accept his crying a bit more than i had 4. and most importanty - when his feeds were spaced out in the day, i had a much better night of him waking only twice for feeding and then straight back to sleep.

In my opinion, demand feeding is great for the 1st 8 weeks or so when you are trying to establish breast feeding but fter that, other issues cloud it. My ds is now very aware of what he likes and wants and was using the breast as comfort rather than for food. He even starts smiling as soon as he sees my boobs!

Babies feed for all sorts of reasons - hunger, boredom, needing sleep, needing comfort - or just cos they can! I believe that a lot of the wind probs stem from too frequent feeding when they are drinking but not really hungry. Dummies can help some people.

I think the whole concept of demand feeding is very confusing for a first time mum. It's a shame people keep saying it's normal for such and such to happen as it doesn't make it healthy. I am still demand feeding but being smart about it and he goes from 2.5 - 3.5 hrs now except in the evenings when he clusters a bit. And his nights are a lot better too.

hope this is useful x

Couldn't agree more, amijee. Well said.

I have done so much of what has been suggested. I've been writing down his feeds for a long time now. He feeds every 2 hours, roughly, but I don't stick to it too much cos occassionally he'll last 2.5 or 3 hours. I guess I keep hoping that eventually he'll feed less frquently, but I don't suppose that will happen. I had actually given up trying the bottle for a few weeks, but I'm now rtying again since the last week. He hasn't really taken too well to tha dummy either. I only feed him when I believe it is a trye feed, and not just for comfort - mean, I know, but I feel I have to for my own sanity!

Isn't it peculiar - my HV recommended starting to introduce solids at 17wks - and this was only 15mths ago that this advice was given. This was so introduction of solids could be taken very gradually and was more an introduction to lots of different tastes. At the time they did say that milk should continue to be the main source of food until 6m.

They said at the time that this meant that at 6 months, when they really should be on 3 meals a day, this didn't have to be introduced quite quickly. The advice from HVs now (from talking to friends with smaller children) seems to be YOU WILL NOT INTRODUCE ANY SOLIDS UNTIL 6 MONTHS!!!!!. Surely things can't have changed that much?

I know that at 17 wks I couldn't wait to introduce something additional - we'd got down to a feed every 1.5hr during the day and about every 3hr at night by then, just because he was hungry. Soon, having some baby rice for tea helped night-times to get slightly better (although didn't sleep through until 9m).

Frayedknot - I agree: now ds nearly 19m and still bf - just twice per day, night and morning. Its a lovely, snuggly time that we share and I'm really glad that persisted with it.

Good luck everyone - its worth carrying on!

mistlethrush, the explanation for the peculiarity is that you were badly advised! The guidance on solids - that babies do not need anything but milk until 6 mths and that most babies are better fed if this guidance is followed - has been in place well over 3 years now. No baby needs to be on 3 meals a day at 6 mths, and the guidance has never said that - before the 'recent' change the advice was to start (yes, start) solids at some time between 4 and 6 months.

I have been advised to try a little baby rice this weekend as he will be 20 weeks and see how it goes. I know not to expext too much and I will also keep perservering with the bottle

Hi shish, that sounds like a good idea- let us know how it goes. Good luck

shish, there is more calories oz per oz in breast milk than in baby rice. it may be harder to digest hence the impression that it is more 'satisfying' but some people find that offering babyrice just upsets a baby more if they are not physiologically ready for it.