Day 3/4 woes

[PenguinPoser]

Looking for some support and advice if possible...
First baby-
DD is now day 4. Trying to bf but I'm finding latch very difficult. I think my milk is coming in today. She favours the right side. Discharged home day 2 and was unable to get her latched leading to many tears and frustration plus some formula.

Had bf support our yesterday and dd performed and fed well for one feed. Was told I was doing well. Struggled majorly rest of the day. Due to jaundice was advised by mw to feed every 2h and top up. Very hard as one attempt can take 60-90 min then having to start again 30-60min later. I'm exhausted.

Rest of yesterday - unsuccessful latch. Sometimes dd too sleepy and sometimes too eager rooting etc and getting very quickly frustrated at not getting anything.

This morning she has finally latched right side and fed 25 mins after having 10ml formula (couldn't get her latched initially due to screaming). Plus 2ml expressed. It still hurts so don't see how it can be working.

I'm so frustrated and stressed I want to feed her desperately and feel I'm failing her. Can we still learn? Is it too late?

That sounds tough and I'm not an expert but it definitely isn't too late. It took us a good week to learn to latch well enough to get a satisfying amount of milk out. Trying to time feeds might be making things ore stressful at this stage although understandably with the jaundice you'll be wanting to keep track. It does feel like constant feeding with little let up at first though. Have you got someone looking after you so you literally do nothing but breastfeed? And things to help soothe you if it gets painful? Sending lots of sympathy x

It's really tough in the early days and it sounds like you're having a hard time of it, but it's definitely not too late. Can you ask the bf support person to come back today? Or alternatively find a breastfeeding group like a Baby Cafe near you to go to today? I remember how frustrating it was that DS appeared to "perform" in front of the experts but go back to not latching well when we were at home. I think it's because you're forced to be very mindful when you're being observed. You need to tell the support person that things aren't working when you're alone. It takes practice to get the latch right, which is tough when it hurts, but it will get better with some support. Good luck.

It is in no way too late. It's just so hard in the beginning. You are not failing her in any way
When you say it hurts, what sort of pain? Is your nipple white or mis shapen (lipstick shaped) after a feed?
How are her nappies? plenty of wet and dirty ones? Have they "gone yellow"?
LL phone line is 0845 1202918
nct phone line is 0300 330 0771 give them a call-they really can help
When do you see your mw again? Tomorrow for weighing and heel prick?

Thankyou. Mw and bf support both coming this afternoon. I've written down everything that's happened all my attempts and what top ups she's had to show them. Will try and latch her myself when they're here to see what's going wrong. Glad it's not too late yet. x

That sounds good op

yes, show them how you are latching her on. I found laying on bed helped.

I had trouble with latching and in absence of any available in-person advice, was given nipple shields at the hospital. Although I felt like a failure at the time, they were actually helpful as I had very tiny/flattish nipples, and I don't think baby's mouth could get enough in. Anyway, just writing because I used them for first 16 weeks, then managed to get her off them onto nipple, and am still feeding at 12 months (today!).
So if you need something like nipple shields to help you keep going , don't stress, it can really make a difference and you won't be stuck with them forever!

You're probably doing this already, but skin-to-skin whenever you're able will let her root and nuzzle without the pressure to latch every time you bring her close - you'll both destress and those amazing hormones will start flowing more freely which can only help. Get really comfy with all the pillows you've got and let her snooze on your boobs. Hope the morning's going ok so far.

How are things going?

Thankyou everyone.
Today has been better as my milk is arriving. LO still doesn't like latching she is sleepy at the moment and she doesn't like working for her food. Have managed more feeds and expression today though. Feel a little more positive. But having difficulty getting supply running esp from left side as she won't feed much that side so I've been focussing on feeding right side and expressing. Little steps. Still v stressful but she's so worth it