Feeling very low as stopped breastfeeding my last baby

[alteredbeast]

I've just finished breastfeeding my last baby at 10.5 months. I fed my older two until 12 months but I've had several bouts of mastitis and a breast abscess this time. I was only feeding on one side because I'd developed a milk blister on the other but then the feeding side was getting sore too. I'd just had enough.

Weaning was fine for her. She's not looked for it. Just did stories and cuddles before bed instead and she went down like a lamb. She is refusing any milk in her cup though which makes me feel guilty. I'm making cereal and cheese sauces with formula or cow's milk etc

But I feel very low since I stopped. It's the last time I'll breastfeed and I just feel I've let her down not going until at least a year. Sometimes I want to put her to the breast to see if she would suckle. I thought I was ready to stop but maybe not.

Do you think that talking to a BFC would help you to sort out your feelings? Might be worth giving one of the Bfing Helplines a call

As for refusing the milk, my 2 had a clear break between stopping bfing and accepting cows milk, so don't stress too much about it. If you are worried about her calcium levels try her with things like broccolli, eggs, dried figs and sardines or tinned salmon with the bones in. Ready brek has added calcium so if you add chopped dried figs she would be getting plenty of calcium. You could try a sliced white bread with added calcium and make eggy bread or make fish cakes with the tinned salmon

Thank you Jilted for your very kind and helpful response. It's helped me

I feel really out of sorts. I think it's knowing I'll never breastfeed again. Like that last physical link with pregnancy and childbirth has gone forever.

But I know rationally there is so much more to mothering. I look forward to her emerging personality and getting to know her more and more. I'm going to buy some new bras at the weekend.

But I feel jealous of friends breastfeeding their older babies/toddlers. I thought I'd go longer but in truth it's been tough feeding my last. I've had mastitis, a breast abscess and milk blisters to get through.

Sounds like you've really been through it. Don't spend too much on bras this weekend as it may take a while for your breasts to settle.

Do though take good care of yourself. Sounds like you could do with a few weeks of healthy eating and some gentle exercise, maybe postnatal Pilates, a bit of sleep (if you can with a 10 month old) and maybe a couple of nights out

You've already done brilliantly well (you presumably know the rough stats about bf babies in this country) do there is no way you have "let her down"). It is a bit sad, though, coming to the end of significant phases when you know you won't do it again - perfectly natural to be a bit blue about it

Just wanted to stop by to say I completely sympathise, feel strange and sad at the concept of my (thus far still feeding happily) 9-month old last baby finishing nursing. The BFing relationship/journey can be a powerful one -- it certainly was and has been for me and my two daughters.

So a big congratulations for feeding and nurturing your babies so wonderfully; commiserations at this special chapter coming to a close, but as you so rightly say there is so much more to mothering and an awful lot to look forward to. I hope that whenever it's time for me to stop, it is a peaceful and smooth transition as it is seeming to be for you.

You have done an amazing amazing job - you should be extremely proud of yourself. Of course you are a bit sad - it is the end of a very special time, but there will be many more happy and exciting moments to share in the future. Well done xxx

I agree you should be very proud of yourself :) it is such an achievement to keep going through all those v painful issues. I guess our different kids will throw different challenges at us throughout their childhoods and often times giving them exactly the same things will not be right for them. You don't need to feel bad about that. I hope your hormones will settle soon and you will feel better. Well done mama.

Oh and almonds are also high in calcium and healthy fats. Try your lo with some smooth almond butter

I would expect the blues.. its a bit like the baby blues due to hormone changes.

It'll pass just be kind to yourself.

I made a big batch of cheese sauce today. Also she loves porridge, so been mixing lots of formula milk in her morning cereal. Yes she has broccoli most days too.

She loves her food, so that's something. Will look for almond butter and dried figs at next shop.

She has been hugging me lots. Almost as if it's her new comfort thing