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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Please help

17 replies

usandbump · 27/10/2006 09:27

I'm not sure where to start really, I've got myself in a bit of a state. I'm feeling really tearful and a bit useless.

My DS is 3 months old and is still feeding every 2 hours around the clock, I'm exclusively breastfeeding although I would have stopped so that my DP can help but DS won't take a bottle.

I feel very tired and fed up, I seem to be the only one with a 3 month old still feeding so regularly.

He sometimes goes up to 3 hours between feeds during the day but always 2 hours at night. During the day he feeds for varying lengths of time but dozes alot during them, at night he feeds for 5-10 mins then falls asleep and nothing I do will get him to take more.

Is this normal do I have to just ride it out? Or is there something I am doing wrong? I don't have anyone that can help whilst DP is at work.

Ds currently goes to bed around 9pm and then as I say wakes every 2 hours until about 7 when I get him up.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

OP posts:

bctmum · 27/10/2006 09:30

Hope you're ok.

It's the time for a growth spurt around 12 weeks so this could explain bf more.

Have you tried co-sleeping? Even in the daytime so you could bf and rest.

NotQuiteCockney · 27/10/2006 09:33

I'm pretty sure my DS1 was feeding this often at 3 months.

How is his weight gain? Are you sleeping with him? You'd get more rest if you did.

It really sucks (ha ha). It does pass.

Original poster

usandbump · 27/10/2006 09:39

Forgot to say that he has been doing this since he was 8/9 weeks old, he got a cold after his first jabs and just never got back into his sleep routine.
During this time he has had the odd night where he has slept better but I could count them on one hand.
Have tried the co-sleeping but couldn't sleep I was just too worried about smothering him. he doesn't sleep during the day apart from out in the pram or during feeds so can't catch up then.
Thank you for you repsonses.

OP posts:

Original poster

usandbump · 27/10/2006 09:42

Sorry- weight gain has been slower since 8/9 weeks. Last weigh in 2 wks ago he was 11lb 110zs at birth 7lb 9ozs. HV said its fine unless he begins to lose.

OP posts:

LucyJones · 27/10/2006 09:43

Do you use a dummy to help him get to sleep? That has proved a life saver for us...

bctmum · 27/10/2006 09:45

my LO's never slept much as when they were babys. My friends all had LOs that slept all the time - grrrr Just had to go with it but it was/is difficult and some days I could just sleep standing up.

Original poster

usandbump · 27/10/2006 09:45

Hi Lucy he refuses a dummy too, there is nothing quite like wrestling with the decision to introduce a dummy and formula, decide for your own sanity to go ahead only for him to refuse anyway

OP posts:

foundintranslation · 27/10/2006 09:47

My ds was feeding this often and more often at 3 months. I promise you it will pass, although it may (sorry) take some time. The day feeds might not get less frequent, but they will get quicker and he will stop dozing off.

Tumblemum · 27/10/2006 09:47

poor you

where do you live? is there a breast feeding support group where you can talk to a bf counsellor or call the asociation of bf mothers www.abm.me.uk/they are good there are other organisation that are good too

my baby would not take botle but tried dr browns which she toOK
one handed typing!

lol

Original poster

usandbump · 27/10/2006 09:49

Thanks bct, you end up wondering what you are doing wrong when everyone else starts talking about their babies. Then we visit family and everyone says "he needs feeding again?" or " you have to take him out in the pram to sleep?"

Feel like shouting, I feel crap enough without comments like that.

OP posts:

Sophiev73 · 27/10/2006 09:50

My ds2 is doing this too - but he's 17 weeks and driving me bonkers... usandbump you are so right - we'd made the big decision a month ago and nada! GRRR... So no help from me, just to say you're not alone. I didn't know I could be this knackered, poor ds1 (2.3) doesn't know what to make of it all!

bctmum · 27/10/2006 09:58

usandbump - ignore these comments - used to drive me crazy but had to laugh somtimes at the sleep suggstions - once was asked if I closed the curtains (must have thought I was a complete idiot!!)

Good going with the bf

Original poster

usandbump · 27/10/2006 10:07

We live in Hants and I'm sure there must be support here, I keep telling myself to call my HV but just know I'm going to end up in floods. I was feeling stronger yesterday and dp was home so I was going to talk to HV at clinic, but no one had told me that clinic is term time only!

LOL bct!

Sophie- well done for coping with two, you deserve a medal! Thank you for the reassurance.

OP posts:

amijee · 27/10/2006 10:35

Hi there

I totally feel for you as i'm in more or less the same boat. My ds is 13 weeks (today!) and feeds 2 hourly in the day but can go longer at night. I ask myself the same questions - is this a feeding issue or a sleep issue? I've come to the conclusion it's a bit of both. The reason my Lo doesn't go so long in the day is because he is a poor sleeper in the day and takes 30 min naps infrequently. Nights are better and he usually associates his bath and the darkness as time or proper sleep. everyone gives you advice about sleeping in the day and that it wil get better but it doesn't really help you in the here and now, does it?

I'm not sure whether you want to c/w breastfeeding or not. You say you would use formula if botles were taken - well...they all take bottles in the end if they have no other alternative. My ds has recently stopped taking bottles ( I was expressing daily and stopped when on hols) and today we are going to devote the day to my dh offering him only the bottle as I want a break sometimes and also I need to go back to work.

We have made the decision to give it another few weeks...and if there is still very frequent feeding and night time waking then we are going to introduce formula. If he starts doing 3 hourly day and night then I am going to stick with expressing and breast feeding.

Decide what you really wanna do and go with it. Don't be put off if your LO doesn't take bottles - they all do eventually. I would also discuss with a breast feeding counseller rather than a health visitor.

good luck and lotsa of love x x x

Original poster

usandbump · 27/10/2006 10:50

Hi amijee, thank you very much for your post. The hope was I could do both, bottle and breast (formula or EBM) so that I could have a break every now and then.
I would happily continue breast feeding if I could get a little more sleep, he used to wake twice a night which I was fine with. As time went on that didn't happen and so we tried to introduce a bottle.
We have tried EBM and formula, I went out for the afternoon and left DP armed with bottles. Ds still refused, he went 6 hours without a feed. I'm nervous to keep pushing this because of his slow weight gain.
As you say if he would just go 3 hourly at night I would be happy with that, at the moment I am averaging 1 1/2 hours sleep between each feed.

I'm going to look for a breast feeding counsellor in my area as you suggest, I think just someone telling me I'm doing the right thing or telling me how I can improve things would help enormously. Tiredness feeds the self doubt.

I wish you lots of luck today with your mission

OP posts:

verybusybee · 27/10/2006 12:59

my ds is 12 weeks old and was feeding every 2 hourly in the night, until i realised that he was falling asleep without feeding enough and hence was waking up hungry again.
he is bf with one bottle of formula at night.
after his feed at 11.00, he wakes up at say 2.i switch on all the lights in his room,change his nappy so that he is awake and make sure he feeds from both breasts.that has cut down the night feeding and now he goes 3 hours betwen feeds.
so the key is to make sure he is awake enough to take a full feed at night.i hope this helps.

kbaby · 27/10/2006 15:42

usandbump- you know that im almost in the same boat as you.

i find that ds sleeps the longest from 8pm onwards, im sure this is because he takes a big feed then. i was advised by bf counsellor to feed him and when he falls asleep burp him and change nappy then put him on the other boob then if he falls asleep again lay him on the floor which should hopefully wake him up enough for some more food.
not sure if it works as i havent tried it any further that waking him and putting him on the other boob but its worth a go.

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