Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Feeling like I've failed

15 replies

Firstimemummy15 · 18/02/2015 05:00

So last night I gave in and gave my nearly 4 week old a dummy. I said I was never going to do this but after two days of having her pretty much constantly on me I couldn't take much more! I had initially put the increased breastfeeding down to a growth spurt but yesterday she was on me for hours at a time and would scream if I took her off - she would settle suckling on my partners finger so think it was def comfort rather than hunger. Anyway I'm paranoid that that all the hard work of breastfeeding is going to be ruined by this dummy and feel that I've failed us by giving in and giving her one. Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
Jellymum1 · 18/02/2015 05:44

you definately havent failed. dont be so hard on yourself i know mums that have gived dummies at avfew days and still successfully breast fes

Jellymum1 · 18/02/2015 05:45

sorry about the typing 5am wakeup from my baby = can barely see

LittleMissPear · 18/02/2015 05:59

I felt like this, I ended up giving my DS a dummy at about 4 weeks, it saved my sanity! It was really helpful to know that it would calm him down and send him off to sleep when I needed it. I wouldn't leave the house without at least 2!
DS will be 6 months next week and he won't take it anymore, he just pulls it out and throws it away! He doesn't need the comfort now he's older. So you might find that they are just a helpful short term tool, like using a highchair will be, and not something that you've failed at by introducing.

Cobo · 18/02/2015 08:08

It won't ruin breastfeeding. I gave my first DS a dummy earlier than that because he had a tongue tie and I was in a lot of pain, and we breastfed for 2 years in the end. My second DS was given one in the first week in hospital and didn't even start breastfeeding himself for 3 weeks as he was in intensive care, and is still exclusively breastfeeding now at 10 weeks. I wanted to avoid a dummy at first too, but practical considerations sometimes take over. It'll be fine, and it's nothing to feel guilty about.

NickyEds · 18/02/2015 08:30

You haven't failed! I get very cross about the attitude to dummies sometimes expressed on mn and in rl. Babies know when they're hungry and I promise that when your dd is hungry she will spit it out and cry for you. A lactation consultant once told me that a baby will sit with a dummy in indefinitley and you'll miss feeds. She was talking nonsense, the second my baby got hungry out the dummy went and I fed him but it saved me hours of just sitting there going nuts as something to suckle. DS is 14 months now and still has a dummy, but it lives in his cot and is only for sleeping so you also don't have to end up with it in all the time.

tiktok · 18/02/2015 08:59

??????

This is up to you and your baby ! :)

The guidance on dummies is not to give them in the very early days....there's nothing, and no evidence, to indicate they should be avoided when the baby is older.

It's crazy to think of them in terms of faliure or giving in....where have you got that idea? :)

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 18/02/2015 09:07

I had to use a dummy from 1 week old with my DS as he was under the lights having jaundice treatment and we weren't allowed to pick him up to comfort him Sad

Anyway it didn't affect his feeding whatsoever, and around the 5 month mark or whenever he learnt to take it out of his mouth by himself, he stopped using them. To be honest, I miss them a bit! Especially on car journies. Grin

Tbh I get a bit irritated with the anti-dummy brigade as well, someone on a fb group that I soon left implied a baby wasn't ebf if you used a dummy. Smacks of one-up-manship to me.

SparklyReindeerShit · 18/02/2015 09:16

My first had a dummy as soon as she would take it and bf until she was 2 so don't worry about it!

Just wish my second would take one!

YokoUhOh · 18/02/2015 09:20

Btw if your little one is 4 weeks old then she's feeding because she's hungry. DS fed for 72 hours solid at one point when he was a few weeks old. Get your DH to make you lots of tea and cake and go with it. Enjoy your baby!

Waffles80 · 18/02/2015 13:38

I really, really don't get the issue people have with dummies for babies. They have an innate NEED to suck! It comforts them! And it won't effect breastfeeding.

I bf my prem twins, who were given dummies in the NICU to develop their suck reflex, and having a dummy didn't cause a single problem (but solved many).

At 9 months they only use them for daytime naps; I don't envisage they'll still be using them at fifteen.

You've absolutely done the right thing. Be kind to yourself.

Original poster
Firstimemummy15 · 18/02/2015 15:27

Thank you everyone this has made me feel so much better. A few people I know through groups have voiced their opinion so to speak and had me doubting myself. All of what you have said has made sense, I just need to learn to do what us best for us and to thank people for their opinions and advice but not take it! Lol

OP posts:
NickyEds · 18/02/2015 15:54

Sorry YokoUhOh but no one would "enjoy" a baby feeding for 72 hours straight (no matter how many cups of tea you had)and it really isn't necessary to do so. As Waffles said some babies don't need to feed but get some comfort from sucking. You're doing the right thing op. If giving your lo a dummy gives you some rest go for it!

WishUponAStar88 · 18/02/2015 16:02

I echo all other comments really, you have definitely not failed far from it you sound a wonderful mum Flowers those first few weeks breastfeeding are exhausting and you do what you can to get by. If a dummy makes your baby happy then it's definitely not a bad thing!! Fwiw my dd refused a dummy when we tried at a few weeks old. She's still only 5 months old but constantly sucks her thumb. At least a dummy you can throw away in a few years when the time is right, I can already envision how hard it's going to be trying to stop the thumb sucking in a few years!!

weebairn · 21/02/2015 18:33

I gave dd1 a dummy at 5 weeks because she was impossible to put down. We bf till 20 months old.

I haven't given dd2 (5 months old) a dummy because she's not a very sucky baby.

Really don't see it in terms of failure, babies vary!

weebairn · 21/02/2015 18:34

Oh yes and dd2 loves her thumb! Not much I can do about that!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page