Am I terrible for thinking my DD probably just prefers a bottle, and going along with it?

[OhMjh]

12 week old pretty much EBF ( bar the odd bottle when my DM has had her) DD was perfect with breast feeding up until her 8 week vaccinations but now it's hellish. The only way I can get her to feed is by pulling her dummy out, shoving my boob in and hoping for the best. Sometimes, it's fine. Other times, I have to repeat said process 7 times over - I am at my witts end. The only times she happily feeds are late evening(bedtime feed)/night feed/first feed of the day when she's all sleepy and snug, so id keep up with those.

But she takes a bottle instantly. Which makes me feel like crap.

It's not my milk, as she'll happily have that in a bottle but I'm shit at expressing and just can't get enough - it took me a week to pump 12oz for an afternoon out and even then she had to have formula too. At a recent weigh in, she'd dropped another centile to the 25th from the 75th at birth and because she's off the centile because she's so long, they've suggested that my milk isn't fatty enough for her and that formula top ups would be a good idea anyway.
My nipples are quite small and I think she might just prefer the flow of the bottle maybe. Who bloody knows. I'm rambling now. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time and beating myself up over this.

I'd just quite like someone to tell me that it's okay to give her bottles because it's easier than the constant battle we have in the daytime.

My dd went through a stage of fussy feeding at around 3/4 months and it did pass. It did makr me feel despondent and stressed at times so I know how you feel! I stuck with it and it did get easier with time- particularly once on solids snd feeds drop anyway. I think I just fed her before each nap/just after to make sure she got enough.
My ds (5 months) has been a fussy feeder from the start and I found it very hard with a toddler (now 23 months) running around! We swapped gradually to formula from 4 months and now he has only 1 breastfeed a day. I felt the guilt at swapping and I wouldn't say its necessarily an easier option- the faff of making up the bottles and each feed takes longer. However it is easier to feed when out and about as ds can be nosy and still take the bottle.
Not sure if this helps but wanted to let you know you aren't alone and either option is ok!

It's not you. Lots of babies can get used to the easier and faster flow from a teat. So don't think that there's something wrong with what your doing wrt breastfeeding.

Was it a HV who said your milk might not be "fatty enough"? That is a very weird thing to say without any investigation of what's going on. Recommending formula top ups as the first course of action is also a bit shit. It seems like you have been let down and not given good advice about breastfeeding.

Could you try a week of more frequent feeds (how often do you feed on average at the mo?), maybe try doing breast compressions whilst she's feeding, offering at least both sides per feed, switch feeding, try a different feeding position to see if that helps with her latch. There's also a techniques called the exaggerated latch which you can see videos of if you google which can help get a deeper latch. Consider avoiding giving formula "top ups" as this will interfere with your supply and exacerbate the problem.

OhMjh, do get better real life support and info - and not from whoever suggested your milk might not be 'fatty enough' 'cos they clearly don't know enough to be allowed anywhere near breastfeeding mothers :( :(

If breastfeeding is not working well - and it's just not possible to tell this from your post - then your baby might prefer the bottle sometimes, but it sounds as if there is more to it than that.

The size of your nipples is not relevant.

If switching to bottles is making you upset and conflicted, then it seems to me you need the chance to talk it through properly with someone who knows about bf....call one of the bf helplines and see if there is real life help near you, or speak to the counsellor on the phone.

Hope things work out.

Totally agree with Culture and TikTok - how ridiculous to tell you your milk's not fatty enough! Google for your nearest La Leche League meeting, and for their helpline number - IMO they're very helpful and non-judgemental. It is TOTALLY normal to have fussy feeding phases and persevering through it is often the best way, as long a there are no underlying issues and it's not making you miserable. Kellymom is a wealth of bf info, if you fancy falling down an Internet research black hole :)

My dd spent a miserable first 5 months being EBF. No problems at all with latching or feeding and she was fed on demand (and a very good weight) but she hardly ever napped properly, frequently cried and never, not once, became 'milk drunk'.

The first time I gave her a a bottle of formula she downed 6oz in one go and slept for 2 hours. I still feel guilty 2 years later.

Dd (as a toddler) eats a lot and is 75th percentile. I just don't think I was producing enough milk (I never produced more than 4 oz in one go when I expressed). I was underweight which probably didn't help.

You've breastfed for 12 weeks which is great and introducing formula doesn't mean you can't still bf (I did mixed feeding till around 7 months, topping up with formula after a bf). The bf was definitely just the appetiser for dd though...

You're not terrible at all. We switched at 6 weeks, happier family all round. Ds was full and fed 3 hourly, I could hold him! Before then if I was holding him he only wanted my Boob. A chilled out happy mum is a good mum