Top up feeds

[MrsCK]

Feel like I've made a real hash of breastfeeding and made loads of mistakes already....Please be kind to me!

so DC1 is 5 days old. I had planned to bf on demand which to me meant identifying hungry signals and then bfing. first night this didn't go to plan. apparently I left him too long without feeds although I was only told this in the morning and I felt awful. latch has been ok.....struggled at first which led to some seriously painful nipples but now have mastered it. All the hcps commented on how good latch was and so when discharged bfing was signed off as fine non problem. Trouble is I wasn't really feeding form long enough. I'd feed until he stopped or fell asleep but this led to me feeding 30 plus times in 24 hours which I was told is not normal. so readmitted to hospital as he has jaundice and because it's so bad he has to top up fed with formula. my milk has now come in and I've been offering breast for 15 mins then the formula top up feed but gradually been cutting back the amount of formula given supplementing the rest with expressed milk. been pumping like a woman obsessed! anyway we are hopefully being discharged tomorrow and I really want to ebf but I'm now so worried about him not getting enough. should I continue top up feeds but reduce the amount? or should I just go for ebf but continue pumping in case he doesn't get enough from me? I'm so worried about him not getting enough and feel like I've messed this up enough already!

any advice would be great

Congratulations on your baby! You are doing so well. The top ups have been good to help with the jaundice. What you need to remember is that any formula that they take means that your body produces less milk. You should speak to BFN or LLL advisor or similar ( they have helplines) to get you the best advice and check for tongue tie.

Yes. You need RL help with this. Reducing formula top ups depends a lot on how much is being taken and whether there are underlying problems like tongue tie.

You are doing really well.

You have had what sounds like pretty poor care :( no one should be as mixed up and demoralised as this on day five. NOT YOUR FAULT.

Speak to an hcp who knows what they are talking about. Get it sorted. Get your confidence back up to what it should be. Good luck!

Not all "experts" really are....infant feeding midwives vary hugely in their knowledge. Even if things look ok that does not mean that you don't have problems. Your instincts will tell you if things aren't right. Hang on in there and as pp said try to get some support.

Thanks. I've found a number for an nct breastfeeding counsellor in my area. hopefully she'll get back to me tomorrow to give more expert advice. I'll also try lll again and the nct helpline.

Thank you for telling me that it's not my fault. I think I needed to hear that. I've been beating myself up about it for the past few days wondering what I could've done differently.

until I get any advice I'm going to carry on pumping, try and do more skin to skin (super hard with visitors coming and going!) and continue offering breast first. does that sound ok?

Yes, your plan is fine....but visitors should not be coming and going when there's a mother, a newborn and feeding difficulties.

Seriously.

They can come next week when things are a bit calmer.

Tell them firmly to stay away.

I really don't care if they have come 500 miles especially to see new baby...they can come again another time.

Or, if that is too hard for you. You could say visitors welcome 12-2 or whatever. The rest of the day, stay away.

Visitors are NOT more important than you and helping you feed

CK, you are not the only one. I've done all of the above, I wasn't told until over a week later I wasn't feeding enough. We were re admitted at 9 days with consistent weight loss and jaundice. I'm feeding twins, so realistically I mght be looking at formula top ups for quite some time, I too am pumping like billio to up my supply. Basically, the 'mistakes' we've made are not obvious, we did our best.... When they explained about feeding on demand, it never occurred to me that they might not demand! Keep going, you are conscientious, keen and doing the very best you can, you will get there (when I do, I'll let you know!) .

Yes, tell the visitors it's best if they leave you to it for a week or two. It might sound odd, but breastfeeding in the early days can take a lot of concentration - getting the latch right and making sure it stays right, listening, noting how long feeds are and how far apart, and the very important part, staring quietly down at your amazing baby while he feeds! Having people coming and going and making polite conversation and having to wear clothes and bothersome things like that just makes this really, really hard. You can end up at the end of a day in a tired haze, not even sure how feeding has gone that day.

I was in your position (although his latch still isn't great at 13 months!), don't beat yourself up! We managed to reduce the top-ups, pretty quickly too as once we had it nearly mastered and his jaundice was better I felt more confident with breastfeeding him alone. I still get pangs of regret, but I can't do anything about it, and know that I was trying to do what I thought was best for him at time so try to be kind to myself and plan to hopefully feel more confident if I ever have another.

Congratulations!

I'm sat here crying at your lovely words. Thank you for telling me it's not my fault! still trying to reduce the top ups but it's still not really happened. I'll keep trying!