Dont want to stop - please can someone help me?

[lovecloud]

Hello

Another desperate cry for help from me!

I have been on here for advice on feeding my dd2 since her birth!!!

Latest problem is she is 5.5 mths and feeds for short times through the day five times between 7.30am and 7pm, then 11pm, wakes around 3am for another feed and sometimes wants another between then and 7.30am. On nights that I allow her three feeds she hardly eats in the day.

I am at my wits end right now, I am very run down and keep catching colds. For the last few weeks I have noticed that my let down is getting harder. Dd2 gets really impatient if it does not happen within seconds pulls off screaming, stresses me and then the milk wont come. Sometimes we have had to miss that feed and try the next time.

Like this morning, tried to feed her 7.45am, milk would not come out. I had the breast pump ready as I Pump milk after the morning feeds for her babyrice so I tried to get it going. I could see milk coming out but did not feel the let down. In the end I only manged to express 20ml which is rubbish normally I would get that within seconds after feeding her.

What is happening to me? Why is my body battling with me all the time. With dd1 I never had this problem in fact I had too much milk!!!

I feel like I am failing all the time with feeding my dd2 - she does not sleep well, wants to be fed at night although she then takes less in the day, she is much fussier and moans more than dd1...

I am so tired and sick of battling to make her feed. I am shattered and just want to sleep five undisturbed hours.

Everyone tells me to switch to formula... this makes me think they believe I am failing too.

I LOVE BRESTFEEDING and dont want to stop but it feels like a constant battle. Why is she so hard?

I am doing it for her and because it makes me feel complete with her. I wanted to feed her until she was one but i cant see that happening.

Why does my supply seem so low she feeds up to 8 times in 24 hours.

Where did I go wrong, I just dont understand???

Her weight gain is constant and she has two meals a day, babyrice and fruit am and veg pm.

This morning when the milk would not come I just gave her the rice with the expresses milk to keep her happy.

I am worried that she is not getting enough milk.

I just feel like part of me wants tgo go and buy soem milk and bottles but then I know I would be so upset and cry for weeks.

What can I do???

oh, lovecloud, your post could have been mine 5 yrs ago!

it's so different with the second baby, and of course youre different too.

if all else fails and it gets too much maybe a bottle of formula might give you a much needed rest.

and you will miss bf but as your baby grows you'll get on with it and move on to the next stage.

thinking of you, ssd x x x

oh poor you lovecloud, just take a breather, don't stop doing it if you don't want to. I would just advise you to stay calm, drink plenty of fluids (a good pint of milk or squash before a feed does wonders) Sit in a quiet room and make sure dd is calm...if she gets stressed (impatiant little blighters I know!) calm her for a minute (sing, rock ...I used to gently blow on ds forhead...don't know why but it worked!)
Above all get some rest and eat well...keep at it though, it should sort itself out
[happy]

even...

my dd1 was hard to breastfeed, I nearly didn't do it at all...just try for a bit longer...I fed her till she was 19months in the end...the longest of all my three.

Lovecloud, I don't know much about the expressing / let down thing but I know that if your baby is gaining weight then there is no problem with your supply.

If she is having solids already this may be filling her up so she is not taking enough milk. I would back right down on the solids - she doesn't need anything except your milk right now. When you do offer other foods, you should give milk first and let her have as much milk as she wants. You're right in thinking that it is more important for her to have milk right now.

8 feeds in 24 hours is quite normal at this age also and doesn't mean you are not producing enough milk at all. I am sorry you feel so tired. I remember what it is like. Unfortunately bottle feeding can be just as hard to deal with added to which you have to get up in the night to make up the bottles! Breastfeeding won't be making you tired or ill, although it is easy to blame those things on breastfeeding (and I know other 'helpful' people will too).

I would allow her to feed as often as she wants and stop worrying about solids. If she gets frustrated and you feel it would be better to wait till later, just try again after 5 mins or so. Try to relax - I know it is hard Try feeding her in the bath, or in bed together. Lots of skin contact and lying down together will help you relax and help her to feed more. I hope any of these ideas help you and I am sure you have NOT done anything wrong - you just need more confidence IMO. This tricky stage will pass.

Thank you!

Maybe I am over reacting - being ill and so tired does not help.

I didnt want to start solids before 6mths but she needed it, since I started she is much calmer in the evening before she would cry and moan.

I always offer her both breasts first before bother her meals but she only takes one breast during the day as she is so easily distracted. I am also introducing them very slowly and only recently increased the amounts. I have not noticed her take less from me. I am keeping a close eye on that.

I am going to go and try again.

I guess another thing worrying me is that I feel sick quite alot and worry that I could be pregnant. I'm sure i am not - i just heard somewhere that pregncny hormones changes the taste of your milk. Can you use pregnancy tests whilst b/f... one thing after another with me.

with dd2 pregnanxcy - i was so sick... we have had sex a few times recently and just been using the withdrawl method as i know with reg bf like i feed can work as a contraception.

If it's any comfort, lovecloud, ds fed 8 or more times in 24 hrs for a long time (even after we introduced solids - which we only did very gradually - I think we moved to 2 meals when he was 7.5 months) and when I was expressing at the beginning I was always rubbish at it. He's never been one to pile on the weight either. But we did (and are still doing fine after the first few weeks, and I know he was getting enough milk from me. I have some practice with a breast refuser and can only suggest keeping offering if the milk won't come immediately - if she gets frustrated, leave it and try again in a few minutes. I have never felt let down every time and I only ever feel it in one breast , but I know it's happening even if I can't feel it, it must be.
HTH

x posts.
Yes, you can use pg tests. Hope you get the result you want.

(and sorry, but even regular bf is not a reliable contraceptive... I was feeding ds up to 5-6 times at night when he was 6 months and I still got my periods back that month)

Another thing lovecloud...she might just not be wanting it anymore...my ds stopped on his own accord at 7months...I pannicked at first as he wouldn't touch a bottle...I persisted with a beaker and he took that but refused to drink milk at all...he only drank water or very dilute squash. I just fed him lots of yoghurts and chees, and hoped he'd be ok..he is 3 now and drinks plenty of milk...try not to worry too much xxx

Aargh, regular breastfeeding is a reliable contraceptive if you feed in the night as well as day, your baby is under 6 months old and you have not introduced solids

do a test

and get some contraception that works if you don't want a another baby yet

I am all the above except I have introduced solids twice a day small amounts so I will have to say NO until I decide which route to take.

I tried the coil before when breastfeeding and it kept making my uterus contract - felt like contractions. Handled the pain four days and the screamed for it out.

I like the idea of persona but not sure how goo dit really is.

Poor lovecloud. My DS is only 16 wks old and I am already dreading stopping BF'ing. I started introducing some formula bottles from 12 wks cos she was snacking all the time and I was shattered and felt sooooo guilty. She seems a lot happier now and I just keep reminding myself that I have done so well even BF'ing this long. A lot of babies are given formula from day 1 so you have done AMAZINGLY! Well done. :-)

lovecloud - much sympathy for your BF situation and tiredness. Have you considered taking some herbal supplements (obviously get proper advice as to safety when BF) to help give your energy a boost or had a blood test for iron/B12 levels recently?

Also just to let you know my mum got pregnant with me when my older brother was 3 months old and she was BF regularly day and night so it's not 100% - do a test just to make sure.