Novice first time bf'er. Overcoming embarrassment and feeding in plublic

[Mammanat222]

I was unsuccessful bf'ing with first child but 2 week old dd has gone back onto boobs after a rocky start (sore, bleeding nips which she wouldn't take = me expressing for a week)

We're day 5 ebf and I am still very undignified when we feed.... I need clothes off / boobs out and as we have a massive family (6 male siblings plus our dad's as well as female relatives) we are still having lots of visitors. I'm currently leaving the room as I cant feed without seeing what I am doing etc...

When does it get easier? When will I feel more confident?

I have some appointments next week and I know they are going to require me feeding in public (BCG and in depth ear test) which I am dreading.

Any words of wisdom? Advice?

Practice means that you won't need to have to see so much.
I used to rely on big baggy tops which I could drape, but wasn't really particularly bothered about 'hiding' as such - just tried to be discrete.
Concentrate on your little one rather than worry about who else is around.
It really does get easier. Keep it up - it sounds as though you are doing really well

It gets easier, once baby has the hang of finding the nipple and latching on quickly. The most foolproof way is to wear a vest which you pull down under your boob and a loose top to lift up above your boob. When you get the hang of this, and discreetly unclipping the bra before you lift anything up, sit in front of a mirror and practice the manoeuvre with baby latching on and you will see that very very little gets exposed after the first few seconds of fumbling.

The other thing to remember is virtually nobody will begrudge a newborn baby breastfeeding, if you get any looks they will be hastily turned away and you will have tacit approval from just about everybody. Honestly, it matters much less to people passing by or sitting next to you than you imagine.

"Learn" at a local playgroup/baby group where everyone has their baps out!
Don't feel you have to fight for bf rights from the start ... nothing wrong with using a scarf or nursing apron if it helps you feed in public. The cheapest are palm and pond off Ebay, they have a wire top so you can see baby. After a whole you'll realise you no longer need it! But it's nice to have.
Big malls or John lewis often have women only feeding areas.

As you get "the knack" it gets easier.

No one starts out proudly popping pfb on with an "I know my rights" attitude. No one has to! Whether you cover or not the key thing is whether you and baby feel comfortable.

I've got a feeding scarf that works like an apron. At the top it has a kind of semi-hard metal bar...that holds the scarf away from my chin a couple of inches - this gives me a fantastic view of what's going on with the latching...

I've bf very easily with 2DC, yet it's in the public places that DD2 needs to have tantrums when feeding. So I always use the scarf.

1. Wear scarf
2. Put my hand in & adjust top/bra
3. Put baby in
4. Looking in from the top - help her to latch & get started
5. When finished get baby out & wind her
6. Adjust clothes
7. Get scarf off

It's the only thing that works for me. I can search for the link if you are interested..

Oh yes, I also use it at home if we have guests or workmen about....no more leaving the room to feed!

Oh yes, I also use it at home if we have guests or workmen about....no more leaving the room to feed!

The way I coped was to wear loose tops and lots of large neck scarves. I used the scarves to cover up a bit and fed all over the place, often without the people sitting next to me realising.

In the early days though, much easier to be able to strip off, which is tricky with visitors. It does get easier.

Congrats on your baby!

I also use one of the nursing apron things. Not because I feel I have to hide but I'm just more comfortable. I was nervous at first but now probably feed in front of people most days. I have never had any negative comments thankfully.

'No one starts out proudly popping pfb on with an "I know my rights" attitude. No one has to!'

YES to this! It does get easier, and practice/experience will make you more confident. The first time I fed DS1 in public he was a week old, it was summertime, we were at a pub, and I was too afraid to sit inside. So not only did I go outside, I went to a picnic table at the edge of the property, about 30 metres from anyone else, and for good measure sat with my back to the pub (facing into a hedge).

I properly laugh when I think about it now. 5.5 years of continuous breastfeeding (DS2 is 2.5 now), I've never had anyone say anything negative, and have realised most people don't even know what you're doing unless they're properly staring. Even with wiggly toddlers.

And YES to the vest under top method, way better than most 'breastfeeding tops', wish I'd known that the first time!

YY to vest and loose top combo.

YY to "it gets easier". Practice makes perfect, for both of you.

I've actually found hospitals to be the best places to feed. Lots of comfy chairs. Lots of people who've seen it all before. You're never surprised by anything you see in a hospital, and people tend to be extra respectful.

In 10 months of public bf I never had a negative comment or even a funny look, despite huge boobs. I genuinely think people can't see anything anyway, and that once they know what you're doing they look away.

Congratulations of your lovely little one

I'm getting the hang of bf my DS "out" too, he's 9 weeks old. I've found big, loose cardigans, easy to fold around you for some privacy once DS is latched on and less obvious than a muslin or feeding apron. I was also given some "breast vests", they're like vest tops but cut underneath your bust, so no skin exposed when you lift up your top.

I also started out by feeding in places which were less busy and didn't have lots of windows, so I felt less on show. I'd head for a corner table and face the wall - I've found the cafes and restaurants in the more old fashioned department stores are great for this and I've really found that once I'd done it a few times I'm a lot more comfortable now. Good luck!