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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

34 weeks pregnant and worried about breastfeeding

15 replies

yougotafastcar · 02/02/2015 10:18

I had a thread on this a while ago, but have lost it so can't re-read.

I'm now 34 weeks pregnant with DC2. When I had DC1 (DS), I tried to breastfeed for 3 days and failed miserably. He was a big, hungry baby and my milk didn't come in until day 5, so the first night he was born he spent pretty much the whole night feeding. By the next morning I was sore, cracked, bleeding and tired. I tried nipple shields but even with them I could only feed for a few minutes before having to pull him off. I spent feeds sobbing, with the midwives saying "he's latching on beautifully, I can't see why its hurting". I started to not want to pick him up because I knew he would want feeding. I tried expressing and using a small syringe to take the drops off my nipple but didn't get far and the midwives wouldn't discharge us until I could feed him, so I swapped to formula.

Anyway, sorry that was so long. I really want to breastfeed DC2, but I'm so worried about it, so worried I wont be able to push through the early pain I know will be there. How can I stop worrying and how do you make it through the early pains until the "worth it" part?

I keep ending up on the infant feeding board and panicking when I read about hours worth of cluster feeding etc, poor DS is already going to be jealous and I don't want him to feel pushed out and hate me.
I struggled with his first couple of months, looking back I think I was on the verge of post natal depression which began with the breast feeding, but I've never told anyone how I felt back then. I really don't want it to happen again!

OP posts:
NickyEds · 02/02/2015 11:01

Are you going to be at the same hospital? Do they have an infant feeding specialist there? I think that telling a woman who has just given birth and is in a lot of pain bf that everything looks great and it shouldn't be hurting and that they can't be discharged until a feeding plan is in place is a bit of a recipe for disaster really. I only know of two women who bf without any discomfort at all, so I think some is normal as you get used to it but bleeding nipples etc isn't a sign that everything's fine. I had terrible cracked and bleeding nipples (ds had a Tt) and it was awful.
Have the numbers of LLL, nct and (if they have one) the infant feeding specialist with you. I don't know if this will be possible but are you close to anyone who has bf? I found my sister's help invaluable when trying to bf. Read a bit about tongue tie and get your baby checked.

The things you mention later in your post are, i think, a little different from establishing bf. I think cluster feeding is really part and parcel of bf. I mix fed (mainly bf) ds and he cluster fed quite a lot up to around 14 weeks, he would often spend most of the evening bf. I'm really hoping someone who knows what they're talking about comes along with advice as I'm pregnant too now and ds will be around 19 months when the baby's born and I too am struggling to see how I'll manage, bf felt all-consuming with ds.

It's easy to say, but try not to pile too much pressure on yourself. Bf can be really hard.

Original poster
yougotafastcar · 02/02/2015 11:11

Thanks for replying. I will be at the same hospital, but not sure about a infant feeding specialist. Something I'll look in to, as well as the numbers you mention.

The only person I'm close to that breastfed was my Mum with me, but she remembers it all through rose tinted glasses after so many years!

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NickyEds · 02/02/2015 15:54

Nct run Bumps and Babies clubs that (as the name suggests!) you can go to whilst pregnant and after your baby's born-they can be quite a good for meeting new mums and perhaps talking over the realities of bf. LLL also have local bf groups (here it's called a bf cafe -no idea why??) that might be useful.

FreckledLeopard · 02/02/2015 15:57

I'd go and find as many breastfeeding support groups and breastfeeding mothers as you can, before the baby is born. Read everything you can on breastfeeding, make sure you have the numbers of breastfeeding counsellors or friends who can help you out (even it it's 2am).

My milk didn't come in until day 5 either, so to have the support of people who could reassure me was crucial.

Original poster
yougotafastcar · 02/02/2015 16:50

I know there is a breastfeeding "class" at the local childrens centre, but at the moment I can't get DS into a nursery and I'm assuming they wont want a bouncing 2 year old around!

I'll look up maybe any evening groups I can go to, and do some reading! I know how to latch the baby on, its just keeping him on and powering through..

OP posts:
squizita · 02/02/2015 16:53

As Nickyeds suggests, groups called Bumps and Babies, run by children's centres or NCT are very good. You meet all the real mums who can give pragmatic real life advice before you give birth. Much more useful than books etc. Grin They can be scary I agree ... All the things that can go wrong but not the reassurance of a real normal person saying "oh yeah I got chapped, I used lansinoh, ibuprofen and hot showers..." in a far less scary way.
My local one has a trained lady who comes to chat about feeding too.

perfectlybroken · 02/02/2015 16:59

You poor thing op I'm so sorry you had such a hard time. I struggled at first with ds1, it hurt so much, but I did have lots of milk so not as bad as it was for you. I had some bf support ladies who came everyday. Them and the midwives would suggest various things and I just kept trying until something worked. I then fed him for 2 years, and cracked and bleeding nipples were long forgotten. With ds2 I was prepared for more agony but it didn't hurt, I hope that happens to you too. I take it you know about lansinoh? Stock up, and good luck!

Original poster
yougotafastcar · 02/02/2015 17:15

I do know about lansinoh cream now, but didn't with DS until after they were cracked and bleeding!

Thank you all for the advice

OP posts:
spekulatius · 02/02/2015 18:04

Definitely Lansinoh cream all the way time after you've rubbed in a few drops of breastmilk. It hurts for the first few weeks unless you are really lucky, even when the latch is fine. I also found the hospital useless, they only wanted the baby to feed well, didn't matter whether breast or bottle. Co sleeping makes it a lot easier because you are less tired. Actually, midwife at home was no better. She said my breasts didn't 'look' like I was feeding DD enough (as in they weren't big enough) and I should give her formula as well. I'm still breastfeeding now and DD is 2.2. And only talk to those friends/relatives who wholeheartedly promote breastfeeding Wink

Original poster
yougotafastcar · 03/02/2015 07:13

Unfortunately I only have two friends with babies, who both "don't like the thought" of breastfeeding, and can't understand why I want to. No sisters Sad however, I'm really close to my Mum, who thinks breastfeeding was great.

I was thinking of getting a co sleeping cot actually, because I ended up doing it with DS at 6 months just to get some sleep.

OP posts:
RolandRatRocks · 03/02/2015 07:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squizita · 03/02/2015 09:33

A side car cot or "sleepyhead" (foam basket you can place on the bed next to you) are great for BFIng if you don't want to bed share. Recommend them!

TriciaMcM · 03/02/2015 11:03

i think the stories on these forums tend from those who are finding it tougher than usual- like the way a customer is more likely to tell their friends about a bad experience than a good one. I know I'm usually looking for help so less likely to be talking about the bits that are going great!

I know lots of people who had it very tough first time round who had little to no issues second time around. I think so much is less stressful with your second- there's less anxiety for a start in general. If possible, I'd try not to put too much pressure on yourself. It sounds like you're really beating yourself up Flowers (& get Lansinoh!)

Thevirginmummy1 · 03/02/2015 21:12

I had no problems breastfeeding my first but pain for about a week with feeding second (very nearly gave up) so you might find that this time round it's easier. My midwife put me in touch with a breastfeeding worker (not sure of the correct title) who came to the house. Lanisoh and rubbing breast milk in definitely helps as does warm flannels and giving yourself time without a bra/top on. It will be hard but you'll have to try to relax. It's hard cos you're worried and so tense up but the baby will pick up on it. Just take a deep breath and remember you're both learning it together. Fingers crossed for you and try not to worry about it. Enjoy the last weeks of pregnancy. Maybe try to visualise it working nicely. Am not sure I quite believe in all that but it can't help. Xxx

Original poster
yougotafastcar · 04/02/2015 09:56

Thanks for replying everyone. I'll wander round to the childrens centre and ask about older children coming to the breastfeeding group just in case.

Hopefully I'm worrying about nothing and it'll all just fall into place!

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