HV made me feel like a massive failure. Can I ask advice re FF and weaning?

[SellMySoulForSomeSleep]

I went to get my nearly 8mo DD weighed today and asked the HV re weaning. My DD isn't really interested in food. I've tried purees, blw, tried her with everything I eat but one or two spoonfuls/sucks and she is done. She will drink water though.

Since 6mo I've been introducing formula and food while reducing bf . This week I've finally managed to go completely to formula which I'm happy about as it will make my life a little bit easier.

DD was very colicky and woke every couple of hours, the only way i could survive was to co sleep and bf. She seems to be sometimes stretching to 5-6 hours at night but wakes up crying a lot and i have to rock her back to sleep.

I've managed to end up giving her about 5-6 fl oz of formula every 4-5 hours while awake, this has carried on from bf because she was always a snacker. About 8floz at bedtime then about another 8floz through the night.

The HV said I have to stop feeding her at night because it's my fault she wont eat during the day. She said i need to go cold turkey and let her cry it out which i'm not happy with or if i'm "soft" start watering down her milk so she eventually wont want it. She made me feel stupid and that I'm harming my DD.

I'm going to start taking a note of exactly what formula i give her and what time of day to try and make a routine and hopefully get to a level that works for my DD.

Wow, long post.
I was just wondering if anyone could tell me what their 8mo had in FF and roughly what times of the day/night?

Oh and any good meals that they really liked?

Thanks very much.

[MrPop]

And your DD will be having food as well in the day, I think its just a way of shifting her calorie intake to day time.

If you still offer night time milk but less and less, hopefully she won't scream as she would I you go cold turkey.

[Jackieharris]

I'd go with what treadsoftly suggests. Feed her at 7/8pm, wake her up for a feed before you go to sleep at 11.30/midnight then just give her water until 6am. Breakfast between 6&8 then try mostly solid food with top ups of milk during the day.

If she eats more solids during the day she'll stop waking up hungry at night.

[SellMySoulForSomeSleep]

Thanks for all your advice. Especially Treadsoftly
The last few days we have fallen in to a bit of a routine, She has started to open her mouth a bit more for food so doesn't need as much milk.

Last night she went from 9pm to 5am without milk. At 8pm she had 8floz then was still unsettled at 9pm so I gave her another 3floz, although she was constantly waking crying because of teething. So it gives me hope that she might be able to do it.

We are normally getting up at 9am but today I've moved it to 8am, She still wont eat porridge/wheetabix so I'm going to try mashed fruit for breakfast and see if that helps.

Bottles now seem to be 5am / 10am / 3pm / tiny bottle at 6pm / 8pm and occasionally 3am.

I'm trying to push the 3pm to 4pm so i can drop the 3oz bottle at 6pm and maybe go for a 7.30pm bedtime bottle. Obviously I want to get rid of 3am and then 5am.

I've found it difficult to get rid of the bf "snacking" mode that we had before but i think it's finally starting to work.

Fingers crossed!

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

That sounds great.

She has started to open her mouth a bit more for food - that sounds like she may have been in quite a bit of pain with the teething.
Do you have wisdom teeth - cast your mind back to the long painful jaw ache. I suspect you'll find that it will just get easier from now on.

Baby rice with pureed pear was a big hit with my two in the v early days. V sweet, v little texture but baby rice by itself is foul - might as well give them wallpaper paste imo.

I think there's a weaning forum here somewhere so it might be good for other breakfast ideas. Watch out for mashed banana - it can cause constipation and some kids are v susceptible so if she loves it, don't let her have it at every meal
Mashed banana and avocado goes down well [bleurgh though], and there's no reason not to feed something like mashed sweet potato for breakfast.
If you can find some naice wholemeal/wholegrain bread. Give her a nice thick crust to chew on. Great on the old gums. White doesn't have enough texture and it just crumbles.

[Bigbadgeorge]

My dd was definitely still having a feed overnight and was still hit and miss with solids. She is now a very good water at 19 months and sleeps very well bar teething/colds etc.

I wouldn't stress. Do what feels comfortable and I'm sure it will work out fine. Don't feel pressured to drop feeds if you will find it distressing. Some babies will accept this I guess whereas others will scream the house down which is not productive (or kind) for anyone!