BF failure - feeling sad & useless

[MrsN1984]

DS is 5 days old and I am really struggling.
He took to the breast straight away and for two days it was great and I felt a huge sense of achievement along with elation when he fell asleep on me.
Then day 3 was horrendous. Would not take the breast and he was very distressed. We broke out the 'emergency' aptimil starter pack and he took that and some breast that day.
Now I've gone to expressing so I don't feel like such a useless mum and it's killing me.
I guess expressing is a compromise and DS is still getting what he needs from me but I miss that closeness we had at the beginning
I can't stop crying with desperation

Congratulations first of all. You've had some great advice on here about getting some RL expert support. I also found BF really really really hard to start with but with some expert help and a little persistence got it going and am still going 14m on.

The only thing I wanted to add is that it's OK to curl up and cry! Lots of us have been there. It's HARD and your hormones are going haywire! Nothing wrong with having a good sob in my opinion.

I could hug you
I've found BF bloody hard work to get going for the early weeks both times, the hardest thing I've done (including childbirth) but that's just me. Lots of good advice already here, fantastic support (Kellymom excellent too) Whatever you decide, do what you want to do, either option will work out just fine

I feel for you because I was the same. Expressing wore me out and I ended up bottle feeding. You need to look after yourself and don't feel bad because this isn't your fault. Your baby wants a happy mummy and however you end up feeding your baby, just remember that your choice is the right choice for you. Good luck and enjoy being a mummy.

DS had severe tongue tie which was cut at 10 days.
First few days I expressed with formula top ups then expressed all feeds when milk came in at day 5

I Expressed for 3 weeks then got DS on with nipple shields until 8 weeks where I weaned him off. Getting him on with nipples shields was horrendous as was the constant expressing, looking back I don't know how I got through it other than sheer determination.

He is now 5 months & I love BF, at 9/10 weeks it was just so easy & natural.

A mumsnet saying really helped me 'don't give up on a bad day give up on a bad week' - well I had bad weeks that showed minor Improvement so I kept going.

Best nipple shields I found were mothercare own brand in s/m - £3
So be rate madela but I found them too big for DS wee mouth.

All the luck in the world, I've been there & my heart goes out to you.

Will give the shields a go
Thank you for all your kind words and advice. Had a better night with DS and managed to express quite a bit so far this morning so I guess that's
Something.
Hoping the HV makes an appearance today but won't hold my breath

Hi op,, hope that the health visitor came and was able to help /reassure you

Don't give up hope OP. One of the other Mums from my NCT group was unable to bf, no apparent reason and tried several different councillors. Last week she offered her DD the breast at 10 weeks and succeeded. So she's now hoping to slowly move back to the breast.

How was today OP? Have you found any real life support?