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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Not sure I want to Breast feed anymore...

40 replies

Bellyrub1980 · 16/01/2015 20:26

Baby is 10 weeks old and EBF. Essentially the BF is going really well. No complaints about her latch or supply or anything. She sleeps really well.

However, I'm starting to feel tempted by switching to formula.

I have pretty bad anxiety (all new to me post baby) and I get over whelmed by the thought that every aspect of caring for the baby is on me. My DP is brilliant in that he does all the housework and cooks all the meals, but he leaves all of the 'baby stuff' to me. He loves playing with her etc but if she cries it's me who deals with it every time. Occasionally I wonder how it would be if I was suddenly taken ill or in hospital and my DP would have to cope without me... The thought of that makes me panic.

For some reason, the idea of switching to formula makes me think life would be easier. Someone else could feed her. It won't all be on me. And of something does happen to me DP will be able to feed her.

Am I crazy?

Have I just forgotten all the benefits of breastfeeding?

OP posts:

littlesupersparks · 16/01/2015 21:03

I am completely not against formula feeding... However, it definitely sounds like anxiety/ post natal anxiety is the problem here not the feeding issue. I completely agree with previous posters that this might be moved onto another area even if you do make the switch. Speak to your gp/HV before you decide xxx

Mrscog · 16/01/2015 21:04

I don't see how you would sound ungrateful if you said 'DP, thanks so much for taking on the housework workload since we had DD, it's such a help. I really miss cooking though. How about some nights you have DD while I cook us a nice meal?'

nottheOP · 16/01/2015 21:06

Have you left him alone for a couple of hours yet? He might understand it's not all fun and your need to share the load a bit more

I would mix feed she'll take it. It allows time off

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 16/01/2015 21:07

Id work on adjusting the responsibilities first. Otherwise you may just be adding bottle prep to your list of stuff to do in addition to all baby stuff.

The fact that he hasnt changed a nappy since NINE weeks ago is unacveptable imo.

Speak to him. Give him something as his job with the baby - bathtime maybe. Give baby to him and take yourself off somewhere with a "see you in an hour when Ill give her a feed, sje needs a bath" and do that every day. If you feel the need, pick up a bit of housework in that hour (change the bed, put away some laundry, make dinner) - but hand something baby related over to him.

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 16/01/2015 21:07

Sorry cross post with lots of PP.

You're right. I need to talk to him.

Will try this weekend.

OP posts:

Notfastjustfurious · 16/01/2015 21:08

Is this perhaps pnd? Has your Hv done an assessment. I had this with dd2 and would fret about everything, it was 4 months before I was diagnosed.

Also wanting a baby and having a baby are two very different things. Before they arrive you have no idea what you're getting yourself into - I wanted all mine but often want to swap with dh and go to work for a minutes peace. There's nothing wrong with feeling like that, it's a massive change to have this little person constantly dependant and demanding attention.

Btw I'm also breastfeeding my youngest and would love to stop now but she doesn't like formula and refuses a bottle so I'm stuck with it until she can use a cup and drink cows milk - in another 6 months!

TriciaMcM · 16/01/2015 21:10

Ah OP, just read last post, ignore my previous post re DH. You sound like me first time around. You need to get away from baby for a 15 min walk, then 30 mins another day, then an hour... And make it a regular thing. When BFing its really easy for your world to shrink to you and baby. It's not fair on DP who probably feels powerless due to lack of lactating parts! Baby will settle with him, just not as easily as with the milky scented familiar mother.

My first haircut at 8 weeks first time around, I was so stressed leaving DD & the salon was around the corner, literally. I had my phone up to max volume & texted DH for updates every 3 mins. But it was fine. Looking back I think it was a form of PND. I wish I had introduced one FF or expressed milk feed to give myself a little breathing space.

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 16/01/2015 21:16

Thank You. In do have a Dr's appointment coming up to ask about CMPI formula which I could use to discuss my anxiety instead. To be honest ive been waiting for it to pass over again like it did initially. But if anything it's probably getting worse.

I think maybe me saying "would you like to take care of the baby for a bit while I cook the dinner" might go down better than "I think we need a chat about your lack nappy changing" and see how that goes. And then gradually add on extra things like nappy changes etc.

I think it's been so long now that he's lost confidence. I've probably taken over and not given him much choice to be fair.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 16/01/2015 21:19

TriciaMcM ..... I feel exactly like that!!

OP posts:

Micah · 16/01/2015 21:20

We done on the bf! It sounds like it's going really well.

I agree with the others that it's your anxiety you need to deal with, not how you feed your baby :). Go to the GP. I know when I tried bottles it induced horrendous anxiety in me- I'm a microbiologist so "sterile" to me is prepared in a sterile environment. I just stood next tho the steriliser and cried, knowing if I took the lid off it wouldn't be sterile any more...

You can try introducing a FF, but you can't absolutely guarantee it won't reduce your supply, or be the beginning of the end of bf. Once my baby got the taste for formula she refused the breast completely. It took 5 days from first bottle to fully formula fed. If you are in a good mental place to know that once you start bottles, there may be a chance you can't go back, and are mentally prepared so you won't be upset about stopping bf, then try it.

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein · 16/01/2015 21:20

I remember this feeling of being overwhelmed with responsibility. Different for me though as it was second baby and I already knew I'd regret giving up bf a second time so that kept me going and any anxiety eased massively when she was around 6 months, could have a bit of food and drink a bit from a cup. I agree this isn't really to do with bf though, it's just that bf is the most obvious thing that only mothers can do.

It's a 24 hr job in the early months and it is totally normal and understandable to want to swap, or have a short time out from it all. It can be hard coming to terms with the fact you are so wanted and needed every minute of the day. It gets so much easier as time goes on and they begin to interact with the world.

TriciaMcM · 16/01/2015 21:39

It was so familiar reading it alright, though DH was more involved in baby stuff, though with me always nearby! Currently have 8 week old DC2 & it's completely different if that helps?
I really isolated myself from friends as well due to the anxiety over feeding and other bits, though it seemed logical at the time. Do talk to your GP & don't downplay it, but it'd be no harm if you could talk it through with DP or even a friend/family member anyway and come up with a strategy to get you out and about a bit on your own. My advice now to myself back then would be introduce a bottle feed of some description. It would have stopped me worrying about DD going hungry if I left her for more than 30 mins. But I personally wouldn't switch entirely, straightaway at least.

Good luck!

Hakluyt · 16/01/2015 21:47

"
"And also, breast feeding is one thing I know I do really well. I got through that painful stage and now it's easy."

Please don't give up then! Find another way of giving yourself some slack, but don't give up the bit that's going really well!

ashaaima · 25/01/2015 11:04

still bf 1year old daughter.she wouldnt take any bottle.sleeps with me since birth.hardly expressed milk.never left anywhere without her.never left her alone.

Ljm2403 · 25/01/2015 20:44

This could have been me writing your post last week!! I had so much anxiety over feeding that my HV recommended antidepressants (DD is 7 weeks). I found once I'd made a decision definitely to give up BFing it was a weight off my shoulders as is been guilt tripping myself over it. I felt completely overwhelmed having a baby that was all mine and constantly critising myself over DDs care. This week has been so different since I started combi feeding with a view to move totally to FF.

This post probably doesn't help in terms of advice but I want you to know others are going through the same thing and you're not alone xxxx

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