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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Fed up with BF

32 replies

Neilsmum · 16/10/2006 18:33

DS is 10 weeks old in 2 days.Was being BF with one formula feed a day.Gaining weight well and pooing-peeing well.The problem is he is constantly snacking and snoozing.He doesnt sleep well because he is hungry but then is too sleepy to feed.I am so exhausted.Havent slept well since god know how many days.Every night, the pattern is like this-feed at 10.30, sleeps till 2.After that wakes up at 3,4,5 and 6 crying and will quieten only if given the breast.Feeds for 2 minutes, falls asleep.I am shattered.Had a massive row with dh today for no apparent reason.He is so wonderful. i am always irritable due to lack ofsleep andgetting depressed.
Will switching to formula make my life easier?I am a doctor, so know all the benefits of BF and feel so guilty to want to do this.But I am not enjoying BF but feel so pressurized to continue.Am I being a bad mother?

OP posts:
leanoracat · 17/10/2006 14:52

Neilsmum, I can really understand how you feel. I had trouble getting breastfeeding established, and once I had, I was very anxious about how much my ds was getting, as I'm a surgical nurse, and like to know exactly how much is going in and out. I can remember feeding in the middle of the night, and fantasizing about how much better my life would be if I would give formula - this went on for weeks, and I think I became a little obsessed about formula magically making my life better. But I perservered, and at about 10-12 weeks, it was like coming out of the end of a tunnel - everything looked brighter and more colourful. My ds was feeding fine, I was relaxed about it, and the night wakings stopped being a problem, as sometimes it felt like I was hardly waking up (and I went into another room to feed!). I'm so glad I carried on, and immensely glad I didn't have the faff of bottles etc. But one thing that I found helped was when I felt very down about bf'ing was telling myself that I would carry on for today, and worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
I hope that whatever you do works for you.

amijee · 17/10/2006 15:30

Hi babe

Haven't read all the posts but just wanted to let you know I know exactly how you are feeling. I am also a GP and my ds is nearly 12 weeks -and believe me - 10 weeks was a killer ( ?growth spurt perhaps) I have been sleep deprived and panicking about going back to work. What I found useful was 1. sleeping in day when he sleeps (only just started doing this now) 2. no cry sleep solution - makes you understand that it's a sleep issue most of the time and they feed to get themselves back to sleep again) 3. guilt free acceptance - either I wanna c/w breast feeding and accept how it will be or not. I have chosen the breast feeding route for now and am very happy. What keeps me going is looking at my beautiful son and seeing how healthy and happy he is...of course, everyone is different.

I understand the guilt about formula feeding esp being medical - but remember..we have an extremely demanding job mentally and you must do what's right for you and your family. I think if you are like me you probably want reassurance and support but will prob try to breast feed for as long as you can.

lots of love x

Neilsmum · 17/10/2006 21:01

Amijee,it gives me a lot of reassurance toknow you went thru the same thing.You are right..the thought of being able to cope when i go back to work,the stress of dealing with a demanding baby,it is all doing my head in.I need to take one day at a time.
Thanks.

OP posts:
Neilsmum · 17/10/2006 21:01

Amijee,it gives me a lot of reassurance toknow you went thru the same thing.You are right..the thought of being able to cope when i go back to work,the stress of dealing with a demanding baby,it is all doing my head in.I need to take one day at a time.
Thanks.

OP posts:
Neilsmum · 17/10/2006 21:01

Amijee,it gives me a lot of reassurance toknow you went thru the same thing.You are right..the thought of being able to cope when i go back to work,the stress of dealing with a demanding baby,it is all doing my head in.I need to take one day at a time.
Thanks.

OP posts:
catherinemummy · 18/10/2006 09:56

Neilsmum my sympathies. Am also a doctor and BF my now nearly 5 month daughter. From about 3 weeks when I was exhausted beyond belief my husband gave a bottle of EBM at 11pm so i could go to bed at 9 and sleep till she woke aroud 3:30 to 5.

It will get better - sounds very much like you have a baby who needs comfort to settle back to sleep rather than a feed. Can you for example pick a weekend when your husband will be off and then get him to go in on Fri and Sat nights if baby continues to wake after a middle of night feed - if he can't smell milk he may settle.

And good luck with the BF - switching to FF will not make him sleep through any sooner - he'll do it when he's ready. My DD has just started demanding middle of night feeds again after sleeping through from 12 weeks so am also shattered!

Broadie · 18/10/2006 20:38

Neilsmum - I have every sympathy for your situation. I wanted to let you know that I have yet to find a mum yet that actually enjoyed breastfeeding in those early months. Be careful not to set yourself up for those magical 12 weeks, I remember when I was pregnant they said that the sickness would subside at 12 weeks and there I was at 17 weeks still sick as a pig!! Breastfeeding takings time - just when you get used to it - baby has a growth spurt and your left scratching your head thinking this isn't the same. My daughter used to wake at 2am and then feed constantly until 5am then sleep - I realised that she was going through a a cluster feed. I therefore would ensure she was up and changed at 7am and feed her every 2 hours and then put her down at 10pm and let her wake up when she was ready to feed - this would normally be after a good stretch of sleep. I would go to bed when she did at night. After a week or so she would wake more often in the day, her cluster feed came forward to 4-7pm and she slept for longer at night.

I really wanted to feed her - I got mastitis - she had problems with her neck and so used to bite down on me, I leaked like a fire hose and remember crying in the wee hours with my little girl suckling and me feeling like I might drop her I was so tired.

Then I decided to move her cot into my room, I took off the side of the cot and put the cot against my bed - she slept in her cot next to me and I slept in my bed. If she woke up I would pull her over and feed her and then put her back into her cot. This was a good comprimise for me.

So My little girl has just gone past a year and we are still breastfeeding. I have been back at work 6 months and have only just stopped expressing at work.

It can work, Its normal to doubt whether you can continue - its a massive upheaval to your life and sleep despravation can make you feel like your going out of your mind. Take one day at a time - don't think too much of tommorrow, or next week, just today and take each day as it comes. Becasue it does get easier - it does get very rewarding and its a wonderful bonding experience when you've been at work to come home and reconnect with your child.

At the moment you're life has gone from one where you were in control, where you knew what was round the corner and you dictated what you did to a life where a little helpless baby is calling the shots, You have let go of the old life for just a little while - you can get that back - but for now learn to let go, be a mummy and enjoy this time.

Breastfeeding is a 2 way street - a happy mummy and a happy baby is the key to success. If your happy then you should find an alternative. But its hard to make rational decision if your sleep deprived and if i'm being honest you need to be completely self less for the duration that your child is fully dependant on your milk - whenever - whereever.

But I can't beleive how quickly time has gone by - I took a day at a time and i've been going for over 365 days now!! Good Luck with whatever you decide.

debs

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