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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

tandem feeding an overly enthusiastic toddler - from feeding on demand to what?

5 replies

Beccus · 06/01/2015 15:43

i am really struggling with managing my toddler's constant demands to b/f. i am tandem feeding her & my 3 mo. she wants to b/f v frequently at the mo. she has become more jealous of 3 mo last few days, getting v upset when we pick him up. she is also adjusting back to normal routine after being away at xmas & dp being off for 2 weeks. tantrums r thrown when I say no to her requests (which is rare) & she also gets v angry when she has to wait for me to position 3 mo before she feeds. I think she has realised that because I usually say yes, she can ask for a feed to avoid doing something she doesn't want to do, eg nappy change. Another problem is asking to b/f while having a meal, thus interrupting her meal, which she rarely goes back to after a b/f. I am not really sure how to manage this behaviour, or the constant demands which make it v difficult to leave the house in the am. if I say 'no, u can after nappy change/meal/mummy gets dressed', which I do sometimes, and then a tantrum ensues, how long should I wait before feeding her? I feel like I am rewarding the tantrum by feeding her. should I say no until she calms down? any tips appreciated, thx

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Thehedgehogsong · 06/01/2015 15:48

How much can your toddler understand? Could you make a deal?

I have the same problem, and I have told my older child she can nurse whenever she wants as long as she eats 3 meals a day. If she misses a meal, she can't breastfeed until the next meal (but I make snacks/drinks available).

I think she is relieved I will still feed her when she asks.

I try to keep her busy too and put the baby down to colour/play with her. She also gets lots of fuss from family and daddy keeping her as busy as possible!

Beccus · 08/01/2015 18:51

thx hedgehog, I don't think she would understand that. good luck with yours

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Ineedacleaningfairy · 08/01/2015 18:59

I tandem feed my 2 year old and 10 week old, the 2 year old feeds between 1 and 5/6 times a day depending on what we are doing.

I do sometimes feed him on demand but sometimes I say yes you can have boobie but not right now, after dinner/breakfast/the baby has finished.

How old is your toddler? I really carefully explained to ds that the baby breastfeeds lots and lots because he can't eat pasta/ice cream/olives and ds can eat those yummy things so he has milk just a couple of times a day.

It all seems to be going ok so far, sometimes the toddler tells the baby to "spit it out now (the nipple) my turn now" which makes me laugh.

Victoria2002 · 10/01/2015 08:15

I have joined a facebook group called "pregnant or tandem breastfeeders", I found it really useful for advanced tandem feeding questions. I asked about nursing "rules" and arrival of a newborn. Lots of mums said they kept or established rules for their toddler eg: baby goes first or you have a drink & biscuit then have milk, or toddler only has milk at bedtime etc.

Beccus · 10/01/2015 09:59

ineed, yes, dd1 usually would feed 6 times a day. thx Victoria, I have requested to join that group. good to hear others r moving from feeding on demand to putting some boundaries in place

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