16 week old won't wait for my letdown and I'm close to giving up

[Heatherbell1978]

DS1 is getting harder and harder to feed and it's becoming a real issue. He went through a similar phase at 12 wks but I had strategies to get him to feed eventually like feeding him when drowsy and using a dummy and pulling it out when he was at my nipple and he'd carry on sucking. Things got back to normal but now he's started again but it's so much worse and those strategies don't work as easily. He's missing feeds as a result and I had to give up just now and give him a bottle for his bedtime feed as he was hysterical. At 10.30 today I had to just pick him up asleep to feed him as he hadn't fed since 4.30. It worked but I can't feasibly just feed him asleep all the time and I can't leave the house if he's due a feed as I can't have him getting upset and pulling away all the time if I'm in public.I know it's related to my letdown as I can feel it come in and he's fine as soon as it happens but just not patient enough to wait for it. He's a good weight and plenty of dirty and wet nappies and probably at a stage where he can drop a feed but I don't think this is about him not being hungry. I'm close to giving up as I'm dreading feeds now and he's happy taking a bottle but I was determined to bf for 6 months:-(

Hi, I have a little girl who is formula fed her but i have done quite a bit of a midwifery degree. Have you tried expressing by hand a little bit before he latches on so your let down comes quicker?

Did you have oversupply in the beginning? I read this recently.

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My 18 week old DD has been like this recently. I was worried that I would end up feeding just off one breast as she was refusing the other! I started expressing when she refused it so that my supply wouldn't drop further and what I do now is hand express a bit until I've had the let down then DD is happier to feed. I've also started doing breast compressions as she's feeding to speed up the flow and she's a lot happier again and she has stopped refusing it (most times!)

DD has just started doing this but she is younger - 11 weeks.

I have increased the frequency of my feeds to increase supply, also so that she is not as hungry each feed. The massive boob rage comes when she is really hungry and desperate for a feed so my idea is to not get to that stage.

You mention dropping a feed, could you go the other way? Feed her an hour or so before she becomes starving?

Also - one bottle is not the end of the world. Don't let it worry you. Tomorrow is a new day and all that.

My DD went through a phase of this recently (she's 24 weeks). It was hard but after a week or so she settled again. I just kept feeding her often. If she got hysterical I stopped, she calmed down away from the boob then I tried again. She's now back to happily feeding on demand.

Thanks for your suggestions. Yes my supply was really good at the beginning and unlike some babies who struggle with that, he didn't, which is perhaps why he put on weight so well in the first few weeks.
I've just tried expressing (electric pump) and put him to my breast when the milk was flowing out and he's still pulling away and crying so I'm at a loss now. I know he must be hungry and I'm sitting looking at him while carrying on expressing. It's ridiculous. He's due a nap so I'm just going to put him down and lift him while asleep again. I'm starting to think he's just not interested in bfing anymore and it breaks my heart:-(

With my right boob I express some first and also look at my dds mood. Sometimes she's more receptive. Weird.

Me weird not you!

Another thought, have you ruled out teething? The suckling can hurt their gums, so try some teething gel before feed.

I've tried the teething gel too...it's all a bit of a mystery. I've fed him today while he's asleep which worked twice but if he's awake properly he screams of I even put him in the nursing position. Gave him a bottle of breast milk at bedtime and put him on the breast after he'd taken most of the bottle and he was fine so he's had his breast milk today. Just seems to be a case of taking it one day at a time just now but I cant make any plans as I don't know when he'll feed so I'm a bit housebound:-(

Could you try latching him on when he's a bit sleepy and standing up and walking around with him rhythmically jiggling his bum...I seem to remember this with dd1, it was the only way to get her to settle enough to work for the milk.