Feel such a failure

[squizita]

My DD continues to gain weight very slowly. She started and held the 25th percentile for the first month, but was just above the 9th at 7 weeks and at 9 is just below the 9th. She was 4.15kg 2 weeks ago and only 4.35 (though I swear it wobbled between 4.35 and 4.4 and the assistant wrote the lower) today.

I spoke to a good experienced hv today, who checked my latch, checked dd's health and said she was fine, my bf is good and so on. She told me they would just monitor but it might be she is a naturally lean baby. She said NOT to top up ... If (and they're not yet) top ups were needed I should use breast milk as mine is plentiful. She just said come fortnightly she has seen many cases like mine and usually they "find their line" and are just naturally small.

Which sounds reassuring but I just feel so crushed like a failure who cannot feed my child. :(

Kerkel glad your LO is fine! The logical side of my brain says the most extreme thing is likely to be pretty non extreme ... Top ups or a snipped tongue tie ... or just some extra weigh ins.
But the emotional side is totally illogical!

Really cross now: looked at "First Time Parent" (book i was given) and it has the cheek to say babies grow 2lb per month inthe 1st 3 months! Now being an anxious type i know the red book averages very well and they don't even require 2b a month: and as we all know they are cautious!

Thank goodness i didn't come across that when i was feeling low. How stupid to phrase it like that. .. Not "some babies..." but as if all do.

Goes to show you should take books with a pinch of salt.

I'm feeling better as the nurse at my GP sugery looked over dd and said she was healthy and strong, and most likely just genetically short and slim. She did the usual checks and declared her hydrated, fed etc.

My Dd was born at roughly 25th centile, she then after a few weeks found 9th then went on to drop just below.She is ebf, we had Lots of feeding difficulties with her latch, tongue tie snipped at 11wks but this was causing pain & no other issues (growth rate hadn't changed) we overcame all the feeding challenges and loss of confidence due to slower weigt gain, in the end I stopped weighing her more than every couple of months as it was totally counter productive and destroyed my confidence. In front of me was always a very alert, happy baby meeting developmental milestones with good frequency of wet nappies & random frequency dirty nappies typical if an ebf baby. She is 7mnths now, petite, 5th centile (6.1kg) , and we constantly have people saying how small she is but I am so glad I stuck at it & didn't listen to the charts that want a baby to confirm to a line. Next time, if we're lucky enough that there is one, I will weigh even less often if the baby I have is the picture of health. Breastfeeding groups can be your support if needed, they are invaluable but the bigger picture that breast is best is so very true & if you've managed to get as far as you have you're doing so well. It sounds great & it sounds like you need a bit more breastfeeding support if you can get it. You are not a failure in any way.

Thanks Peb ... my GP said similar, she's just little and in perfectly good health!

Squizita, just remember that they are all different. There's babies at all points of the centiles (that's the whole point of them) but the charts don't take into account the rest of the babies life - the nappies, alertness etc.
Dont get bogged down by numbers and charts.
We have the opposite issue, dd has raced up through the centiles and is right at the top. We are constantly getting faces when people ask how old she is. She's ebf and no other issues, this is just her!
There is nothing on the chart to say that a certain centile is the 'best'. Being smack bang in the middle doesn't make your child any better or worse. It's just makes them smack bang in the middle!
Hope you're feeling better about things now? How would you feel about not getting her weighed for a while?

You should really try to stop reading the books if they are upsetting you. My DS put on 1lb a week for a while and went from 25th to 75th centile, so certainly not 2lb a month! But he only had such a massive leap as he'd lost a lot of weight at the start so the insanly straight upward line was a result of that. He was finding his line. He's very long (91st) so hes only that heavy because of that, if DD is dinky them of course her weight will be lower as she'd be out of proportion. Large doesn't equate healthier.

My DS1 dropped from 75th percentile at birth to 25th at 3 months. I was so worried, but I carried on ebf and he's now a healthy active 9 year old - still tall and lean. Then DD and DS2 followed a similar pattern. I think it's just what some babies do! Please don't feel like a failure.

I'm not upset, I was cross in principal iyswim. You expect authors to fact check!

GP confirmed that dd is in proportion and gaining steadily. Diagnosis: you have a petite baby, growing in proportion to her future height based on head/length as a short arse like her mummy.

Glad to hear it
Do you feel better about it now?

Yep much better. Thanks!

She has to have a routine hip scan so I'm sure I'll fret!!

Well that's what us mums do!
Clues in the name though - routine! Just remember that.

Glad you're feeling better. My ds was born on 25th, dropped to 9th and stayed there through ebf to 6mo and then weaning. He's still around there at 15mo and eats more than most babies his age!! Nursery are astounded at how much he eats. It seems he just burns it off and is naturally slim. (Wish I could say he gets it from me but sadly no). He's also got tiny feet and hands so just generally healthily petite.