Pregnant and want to wean breastfed son before baby arrives

[WinkyWinkola]

I've posted this on the pgy thread too before I saw this breast and bottle feeding one.

I'm 12 weeks and 6 days pg with my second child.

I'm still bf-ing my first who is nearly 18 months now although I think he uses me more as a dummy than as a source of food or drink! He's on and off all day and still wakes in the night three times too. I'm knackered!

I'd like to stop bf-ing my first child before the new baby arrives because I simply won't have the NRG or strength for two. My son gets really angry and upset if I tell him that he can't have the breast.

Should I risk waiting to see if he'll self wean as I've heard some babies do in the second trimester? Or should I bite the bullet and stop him myself once and for all? Or, should I wait until new babe arrives and see what happens then?

I think it is usually the first or third trimester they wean in, isn't it? Either when the milk changes / lessens a bit at first, or when it changes again and increases scarily at the end?

I would focus on night weaning in your shoes. If you can crack that you may find you don't mind tandem feeding and from everything I have read it can be a wonderfully useful tool to soothe a grumpy / jealous / insecure older sibling.

It's really normal for an 18 mo to want to feed lots on and off all day, btw. But people can and do limit breastfeeding if they want / need to.

If you want to wean him I would suggest you do it sooner rather than later .. as the closer to the new baby coming the less change to your older child's routine the better

I think any child of 18 months who wakes 3 times a night would tax anyone .. and I would suggest sleep training him .. he definitely doesn't need to wake up to eat at night .. that's a habit

If you wait till the new baby arrives you can't refuse your child the breast ... but you may be happy tandem feeding

Here are some suggestions for night time weaning

Night time breastfeeding doesn't have to be exhausting, if you co-sleep and are able to just give in to it. I agree it can be, though.

Breastfeeding a toddler is about an awful lot more than nutrition.

OooooOOOo,

Please tell me about bfing a toddler then and its importance a child of that age? I don't know about this and it could affect my decision to wean........

Thanks in advance.

This might be useful reading for you. From my own experience, breastfeeding a toddler has meant:

a chance to reconnect and calm down (for both of us!) after conflict

a perfect way to reassure a small child who is struggling with venturing out into the world

a cure-all for bumps, bruises, coughs, colds, over tiredness, ordinary tiredness, tears, and tantrums

and also a very pleasant and simple way to show love and enjoy physical contact with a child who won't sit still for a minute at any other time

(I was being OOOOOoooOOOOO earlier, for Halloween silliness, btw)

Hope you don't mind me asking F&Z but why F&Z as a name?

Jennster, I have been on the internet for...ooh, far too long and my online name has always been some version of Franny. This is my latest incarnation (Franny and Zooey is one of my favourite books, two superlatively wonderful stories by J.D.Salinger). And hey, the Sunday Telegraph cited it as proof for Mumsnet memebers being wel-educated, so there

I stopped at 18 months, when 4 months preggers. I reduced the feeds down to a strict twice a day then dropped the morning feed last. DS wasn't bothered.

WW - sympatheties, have no personal advice as I have an only child (still bf at 2.3 years).

May I suggest contacting your local La Leche League who are experts on bf toddlers and tandem feeding ? They also have some excellent books (you can buy them online) on gentle methods of weaning if you decide to wean rather than tandem feed. I have spoken to mothers who tandem feed and they say it is a wonderful thing to do as the older child finds it easier, less jealousy, etc.

There are many benefits to bf a a toddler not all to do with health. Please refer to www.kellymom.com and LLL websites, both have excellent advice on toddler bf

F&Z, I found the book almost impossible to read. Took me a month!

hi there, i'm in a similar situation to you winky, i'm 6 weeks preg with second child and have a 14 month old who still has 2 breastfeeds per day. i do intend to stop feeding 14mnth old at some point, however my concern is where are the nutrients going?

is the goodness that goes into breastmilk taking away the goodness for the placenta? or are the nutrients for the placenta not now going into the breast milk?

I can't find any info on the net, if anyone has any answers i'd be very grateful, many thanks

I was told by BFN that nutrients always go to placenta.

Hi Jennster, at the risk of sounding thick, what is BFN?

Sorry Cathess, been busy at work Wed-Fri. BFN is the Breastfeeding Network. Similar to LL (La Leche) and ABM (Association of Breastfeeding Mothers)

Well, I seem to have the same trouble as well. Ds is 2.4 and he still feeds every night before bed, and when we get up. He wil also try his luck through the night if he can as well lol.

I am 19 weeks now, and found that he wants more, not less, so maybe it is a 3rd trimester thing then.

I am now at the point where I am thinking that I may as well tandem feed. As someone has said, it will save havinga jealous toddler lol. Will have to see how it goes.