to stop or continue breastfeeding ... some issues ... ideas please!!!

[Thatsnotmyfigure]

I am struggling with breastfeeding dd2 (9wo) for 3 reasons but I'm also scared at how to stop:

1. at least once a week I get v painful engorgement/ blocked ducts. Never quite sure which or it's a combination. It's not only painful but seems to create a lot of angst in me and mental energy trying to work out what to do! Have scoured websites and tried the usual.

2. baby is a slow feeder - typically 45 mins. as I have an active toddler the mid-morning feed is hard. I tried changing it to a bottle but don't think that helped the above situation. I'm losing confidence in going out and about. Baby/toddler groups are fine (they usually end up clearing up around me!) but a walk in the woods isn't possible as I can't park myself to feed and look after toddler.
   She's only 9lb and likes to feed every 2 hrs in the evening. a 3 hr routine is nowhere in sight!!

3. Night feeds are frustrating as they go on for ever then she won't settle (I know this wouldn't necessarily change with a bottle, it's just another problem). She wont take a dummy, can't be rocked to sleep in my arms, she's wide awake after a feed unless I take her into bed and let her fall asleep on me. I don't really like this as I feel uncomfortable with her next to me and worried. Plus I think I may be creating a bad habit for the future

However I can't imagine giving up. Not because I love bf, but because I would feel awful as it's her only source of comfort. I know it's best for her. I've fed through pain and infections and I'm proud of that and I feel I would be a failure if I chucked it in now, plus I'd have those engorhgement issues. It is impacting on family life also

Any ideas on the 3 issues above? Mixed feeding was my aim but I can't even make that work!!

Hi there.

My dd is also a slow feeder, so I use A sling to feed which means I can feed her for as long as she wants whatever I'm doing - even walking through the woods! I use a stretchy wrap in cradle position and cover with a muslin, but other people like ring slings or structured carriers like ergo/ manduca. If you have a sling library near you could try a few to find one that works for you and dd. Being able to feed on the move has made such a difference to my relationship with bf - I don't feel held back by it at all, and dd usually has a good sleep in the slung after a feed too.

For your third point, my dd is similar- needs to be fed to sleep in bed in the dark! I just go with it and try to enjoy the snuggles, figuring she'll grow out of it eventually and then I'll probably miss it! Recently we've learnt to feed lying down on our sides facing each other which means I can snooze and when she falls asleep she is lying on her own on the bed- I then either lift her along into her side car cot or leave her depending on how asleep I am. I decided its a case if getting through night feeds as effortlessly as possible and this way seems t give us both the most sleep.

Hope you find solutions and manage to carry on bf happily :)

Thank you mumble! You are so right - those are 2 skills I have yet to master. I have asked a friend to show me how she feeds in a sling, as you're right. I am starting to feel resentful that I can no longer go for walks with my toddler.
I have been doing a bit of lying down feeding but I have to be so careful to get the latch deep enough. I'm so short sighted I end up putting the light and my glasses on. As soon as I move away from her she stirs and wakes. If I don't move I just lie really awkwardly for hrs. Had a breakthrough last night as after 2 hours of repeated
feeding and trying to settle I summoned DH from the spare room who settled her no probs so I'm now going down the 'I can't settle her she can smell my milk' line. It seems to be true!