I am such a twit

[Iwillorderthefood]

It has just dawned on me why I get no big chunk of sleep. I have a 4.5 month old plus two other school age children. I hsve been feeding her to frequently. So 4.45 am then 8am for 5-10 mins then at about 9,30, 11, 1pm and 2.15 (before school run),4.30 (after school run), 6 before older children's bedtime, 7 to 7.30 , 9.30 when I go to bed, 12.30 when she wakes up and again at 2.30 ish. I have done this as I am concerned thst I will on the school run with scscreaming baby. What I have actually done is create a baby used to feeding every 2 hours. So now I need to stretch her to have any hope of longer chunks of sleep. Please tell me how? I am bf.

Don't beat yourself up. Bfeeding is great for the flexibility it allows and the feeding on the go that you can accomplish.

I would maybe start with eliminating the 5-10 minute feed at 8 am and offer distraction instead. Either that or make a longer feeding time about 7 am and anticipate introducing breakfast instead of the 9.30 feeding in about 6 weeks.

At the 4.5 month stage I would plan on reducing bfing times at the times you might be feeding solids (looking ahead) and seeing if you can get the baby to feed longer at the times you have remaining.

However, there is a 4-month growth spurt and your baby may well be experiencing this right now and may therefore sort herself out with longer stretches between feeds once she tops off.

How bad would a screaming baby be on the school run?

School run is 30 mins walk or drive due to parking. I suppose screaming baby in short term would be ok. Yes I will give this a go. I can't believe I have been so silly I am exhausted and its all my fault.

She has been doing this for a while so not sure if it's a growth spurt.

If you walk can you learn to feed in the sling? that way your not doing it a separate thing? That being said 2 hours is pretty normal for a breastfeed baby.

Ideally what intervals could she manage?

My middle child is 5 maybe I have just forgotten. Plus the middle one fed continuously for months night and day, so I am clueless about what is normal.

A sling. Then a walk to school becomes a feeding session for baby. In fact anytime becomes a feeding time for baby! Pushing a trolley around Tesco ( while feeding) peeling spuds ( while feeding) even pegging out laundry ( while feeding).

Sorry to drip feed, I really need to try to do something as my DH is often away for a week at a time, and is in any case, out of the house from 7.15 to 8 ish. So all childcare is down to me. It is starting to get me down now. I think I may need to go to bed after the girls have gone to bed. Problem is I get no child free time at all, and will not see DH at all.

4 month sleep regression. You might find that stretching feeds during the day makes no difference to night time sleep anyway and you just end up with a whiny hungry baby in the day and still no sleep. My first fed every two hours at 4 months, my second every 3 hours but she still woke frequently.
I'd start going to bed at the children's bedtime, at least every other night if you want to see your DH. Sometimes you just have to prioritise sleep for your mental health.

Ok will try the sling

She was feeding at these frequencies before 4 months and she was waking up once. I have never experienced this sleep regression before, which is odd as this is baby number 3, but as I said DD2 just fed continuously (she had lots of pain from glue ear) and DD1 was fed expressed milk in a bottle, so she was having formula type quantities and slept solidly from about 8 weeks old all night. Is regression actually a growth spurt? How long does it last?

*At these frequencies in the day and waking once at night.

What you describe is very normal - not something you have created at all. You're not silly or a twit. Stop beating yourself up :)

Things may well change by themselves in a few weeks time when she starts solid foods.

Seems to me your feeding pattern is highly convenient, for taking and collecting children to/from school.

If it was me, I wouldn't bother to do anything about it, but some of the suggestions here might work, but half an hour walking there and back on a cold wet morning and again in the afternoon doesn't sound much fun to me :)

Hi Tiktok thanks walking is the better option as I have to leave earlier if we drive. The school is large for a primary with over 700 pupils and all on street parking. So often if I drive I still have to walk about half way. So all this is pretty normal then? She was going longer between feeds when she was smaller hence I thought I'd created the issue.

I think going to bed at the same time as the older children is worth a try for some extra sleep. It certainly helped me in the short term at around the same stage. I adore my DP but definitely valued the sleep just a little more now and then!

This might not be the right approach but I actually found that feeding more often during the day helped mine to sleep longer between feeds at night...

I am going to go to bed at the same time as the children I think tonight.

In terms of feeding more frequently, I am not sure as I have inadvertently done that this morning as I had to go shopping. She had five mins at 9.30 which I thought was maybe not enough. She got all tearful about an hour later so tried again but she did not want it. She is ok right now.

Progress and development re feeding times and sleeping times etc is not linear, though, Iwill....it's absoutely within normal for babies to change and to sleep and feed at differing intervals at any age, and by this age, babies can be flexibly encouraged to feed at slightly stretched out intervals and at times more convenient to you, if you want to....but I just can't see why you would be concerned enough to mess about with it, when you have already got a 'system' that allows you to take/collect children without her being desperate to feed. She's not going to go all the way from 2.15 to 6 without a feed, so 4.30 is a good time to do it. I suppose you could stretch the 4.30 feed to 5.15...but that would clash with older kids's tea :)

So I will stick with what I am doing and hope she comes out the other side? When she does wake up in the night she cannot self settle. Sometimes at bedtime she is put down awake, and she will go off to sleep, but she does not seem to be able to later on. Is this normal too? She feeds and then does not fall asleep again, so I end up feeding her, to make sure she is not making noise, which is rubbish I know, but as I can hear my neighbours coughing next door I know she will wake them up, and I will have to deal not only with sleep deprivation, but irate neighbours too.

It's normal. She is very young, still.

Just wanted to add that my ds was exactly like this at 4mo and is still more or less the same at 7 months (sorry!) - feeding during the day every 2 hours on average, will sometimes settle himself to sleep at bedtime but not if he wakes up during the night. From 4 months onwards he went from sttn to waking 4-6 times. The past week I've been offering him bf more often during the day and he's been waking much less and sttn a couple of nights ago (though could be a coincidence).

We apologised to the neighbours for the noise but they said they couldn't hear a thing, which doesn't make much sense since we can hear a pin drop in their house. Most people know what it's like with a baby, and if they don't they'll probably be far too polite to say anything .

Hope you can get some rest!

Hi most people are, but my middle DD had the previous neighbour accusing is of abuse due to how much she cried at night. This helped us to keep calm tremendously.

*us

Try to put the neighbours out of your mind. It would be unreasonable of them to complain or expect you to get upset on their behalf if they are losing sleep. If you feel bad, maybe send a preemptive card and some Halloween treats.. Most decent neighbours will assure you they never hear a thing.

I had five non-sleepers, each with their own non-sleeping pattern, and gave up trying to keep track of whatever routine they had during the day. Things settled a bit during the day once they started on solids but one in particular woke a few times every night until she was 2.5, and none of them self settled. I think I would have been a wreck without Bfing as it is so handy.

to you -- with three little ones, this is probably the hardest part of your entire life, even without your DH away for a week at a time. It is incredibly hard when you are the centre of the universe for children and you don't have a minute to pick your own nose.

Is there a nearby teen who might like to make a little money by coming in and playing with the older ones for an hour or two in the afternoon on weeks when your DH is away?