Is what I would like to do possible?

[tomanyanimals]

Currently 31 weeks pregnant but baby keeps trying to arrive early so need to plan ideally I would like to bf I couldn't with my first as I had had glandular fever so doctors suggested not to which is fine baby first and everything.
This time however I really would like to breastfeed during the day but I would like to express mainly so that my dh can split night feeds with me so I have some sort of energy to run round after ds1 plus do horses and walk dogs etc etc. is that feasible or am I in a completely different world.
One more question sorry because baby keeps trying to make an appearance I am producing milk/ colostrum and have been for a couple of weeks could I express it and save incase I need a general anaesthetic which it is looking like due to an accident last year or can you feed after my midwife just says it depends on too many things so not much help really.

Thank you so much anyone that can help as I am extremely nervous about this one for some reason.

You can feed after a GA (how long after depends on what drug they use, but your anaesthetist ought to be able to plan accordingly).

Expressing is very hard. You typically have to express around the same time as the bottle is being given, so you may not actually miss much.

Also, bm is not the same all day long. Missing the evening/night feeds messes with your supply more than eg the morning feeds.

See how it goes. With my second I barely had time to scratch my arse so the logistical convenience of bf won over the theoretical convenience of bottles.

Hi! Hope that baby waits a little longer.

1. yes you can breastfeed and express to bottle feed some feeds. It's recommended you wait until after 6 weeks to do so, so breastfeeding is established. Your milk supply is produced on a demand basis. Every feed you miss by bottle feeding will mean you make less milk. If you were to only do one feed in the night, the one about 3am is the most important to do direct from the breast as the hormones peak then. In the early days, you should express for every feed you miss directly with baby. You will probably find feeding in the night direct is easier than the faff of expressing and bottle feeding, especially if you co-sleep, baby can feed while you doze!
2. expressed colostrum will really help a premature baby, if you hand express and collect in little 10ml syringes and freeze, baby can be syringe fed then. Hope that helps

animals are you in the UK? I ask because I have never heard of glandular fever being a contraindication to bf here (though I suppose it depends how very ill you were).

Expressing solely is hard work. You will need to do it at night - no fun, you might as well breastfeed direct. I think you are underestimating the time and effort involved.

Best thing would be to call a bf helpline and talk it through. It might be something you could do some of the time, maybe once the initial intensity of the newborn period is over.

I know some women do express solely, and find it ok, but it does need some thought.

Yes, you can save colostrum and feed it to the baby, but why would you want to? Why not just feed the baby with the colostrum you will have anyway, at the time?

I would suggest that you start off fully breastfeeding for the first few weeks. This enables you to "kick start" your milk making cells and establish breastfeeding. Once you are both comfortable and relaxed with breastfeeding, you can start to express for the times you want a break or a rest. In an ideal world, breastfeeding without the faff of expressing is so much easier. Babies are often more portable and happier because they do not need to wait for comfort or food. However, it is better to do both than not bf at all. Meet other bf mums and / or a breastfeeding councillor to guide you through your choices. There is good help out there. Re expressing now. If you are threatening to go into early labour, stimulating your nipples is probably not advisable. A young baby only needs a few drops of colostrum. If you are leaking now, it will be easy to express those few drops later. Good luck.

Thank you I am struggling to get the answers I want from my midwife as she just keeps saying let's wait and see but I need to know what my expectations would be if that makes sense.

I do want to bf as much as possible but equally my dh has said he would like to help with some feeding as he is only having a couple of days of work so worries he may not bond?

Yes I am in the uk I had my first 4&1/2 years ago I was advised I should be clear of it for 5 years before by and I was only 2 years on I had complications due to it so maybe that was why but that was the reason they gave me.

I see the anaesthetist in a couple of weeks so will ask him a bout the ga as I cannot get a straight answer there either.

I like the idea of putting some colostrum in syringes I think it may settle my mind abit if baby does come early just incase I can't bf straight away.

I think I am panicking slightly as I really want to give it ago this time and I am not getting any help apart from being told wait and see which obviously isn't helping me and after the scares the last week I feel I need to be able to plan things slightly especially now I am on strict rest my mind is on overdrive.

I understand that to express the colostrum now would negate the fact I would have it anyway when baby does arrive but if he makes an appearance in the next few days he would be straight up to scbu they have said so I am thinking if I have some in syringes at least he would be having that and not formula?

Still never heard of glandular fever being a reason to advise against bf. Complications or no complications. And to wait for five years afterwards? Sounds very iffy to me.

It's hard for a talk board to give you precision in the answers. It sounds to me that you need to express (ha!) your frustration to the midwife. Let's wait and see is not good enough is what you need to say! I think she is right in suggesting that you don't get too fixed an idea of what you want to do, but a rough idea of options is ok, surely.

Your dh does not need to feed in order to bond. Please don't say bonding = feeding to my dh ( who had no paternity leave at all with any of our kids - long story why not) and who never fed them either ( until time came for solids). Plenty of fathers never feed their babies. Bonding does not come with milk. It doesn't come with bottles. It doesn't come with breasts. It comes with the quality of the love and the connection and the emotional closeness which can happen with nappy changing, bathing, holding, cuddling, singing etc etc etc.

I could of questioned it at the time but I wanted to do what was best so followed their advice.

I just need to hear other people's views if that makes sense I just need to know what could be achievable or not or could try but may not work, other people's experiences as I have no one to ask or talk to about it so my main source of information is off the Internet at the minute if anyone could recommend some books that may help or give me some information I would be very grateful.

I understand that feeding isn't the only way to bond but he really wants to be able to do something with feeding he's worried he'll miss a lot so wants to try and be involved where he can which unfortunatly is going to mainly be between 10 pm and 7 am as he works seven days a week. Although if this one is anything like his older brother he will be wide awake and ready for cuddles in those hours and asleep in the day.

I will be speaking to my midwife again but I don't see her till the 7th and theres a chance he maybe here by then and useless trying to get the. On the phone as they never answer or ring back.

The answer I think is that you need to really commit to breast feeding (from the breast) as the only source of milk until supply very well established - this might be 6 weeks or so.

After that you can pretty much dictate to your boobs what you want them to do- Feed by day and have dad give middle of the night bottle feed or what ever. replacing one feed with a bottle feed after about 6 weeks is probably OK but if you want that bottle to be breast milk you are going to be up expressing it and where is the point to that?

Yes some women maintain a baby on expressed milk only but the do this if baby is unwell or what ever and their life is pumping by the clock every 2hrs or so day and night. Even the best pumps are a poor imitation of suckling so milk output isn't the best.

I'm going to be blunt and probably be shot at but as another poster says there is lots you DH can do to " bond" that doesn't involve feeding, and cutting breast feeding so you have energy to do the horses and walk the dogs perhaps suggests you have different priorities than most breast feeding mums? Yes maybe when baby is 6 months plus but to be thinking about it in the immediate post birth period???

Babymoon, bond yourself , feed that baby when they want- skin to skin and concentrate your energy there and on looking after you and your other child.

If your DH wants to help between 10pm and 7am, he could deal with all awake time apart from feeding. So you breastfeed, and he then settles the baby if she isn't settled afterwards enabling you to go back to sleep.

Expressing is a complete faff and I stopped doing it as soon as I could (DS was in SCBU for a while and then needed a while to get the hang of feeding direct). My DP is "bonded" with my DS just fine despite being deprived of the opportunity to give DS a bottle regularly.

I think I must have come across wrong at some point baby will be with me to dog walk and horses and with my son etc so bf will not be a problem I just wanted to know if it was at all possible as I have no where to get information from and my dh was just really keen on being able to give a bottle but from what everyone has said that isn't a good idea to try in the first couple of months which is fine unfortunatly no one else to look after horses and dogs after the first couple of weeks so I have no option but to do them luckily the set up I have I can take baby safely and have somewhere warm to bf at the farm so I don't need to worry about either of us being cold.
Hope this makes it abit more clear as I couldn't find any information on if or when was suitable to express or if it was ok to do straight from birth.
I am hoping against most people's wishes that baby does either stay awake till after dh is home so he can do the cuddles and play etc or wakes up early enough for him to have some time in the morning.
I am a young mum still this time round and I really want to do what I can to give him the best start but I like to have as much information as I can but with my midwife not being extremely helpful I have no idea where to look and I'd hoped people on here may have been able to help or point in the right direction, I am really grateful for people's input and it has given me some thought and I realise it's looking like he can't do it but I did want to know if it was going to be possible having not done it before.

My 8 week old DS1 is exclusively breastfed but I express so that he can have the occasional bottle from dad. Firstly, its taken a while for him to take a bottle which is something to keep in mind...we started at 3 weeks, I've spent a fortune on every bottle and teat on the market and he's only now taking one but won't take one (from either of us) in the evening as that's his grumpy time and he wants my boob! I think he will eventually but in the meantime he just gets one bottle during the day to keep him used to it. But then as the other posters have said, I have to express whenever he misses a feed by having a bottle and I usually do an 'additional' express between feeds in the morning for my freezer milk supply. I've always had a good supply of milk and it sounds like you do too if you're producing colostrum now. So there's no way my DH could feed DS through the night without me getting up to express for every missed feed; my boobs would be hard, lumpy and fit to burst. As it stands, DS is a reasonably good sleeper and I often wake before he does desperate for him to wake so I can relieve my boobs!

If I'm honest, unless you're able to keep up with the expressing, you'd perhaps be better mixed feeding (breast and formula) if you want your DH to do a lot of the feeding. Once my DS is taking the bottle in the evening from DH, we'll eventually have that as a formula feed to save me expressing I think.

Have a look on the Kellymom website for lots of information about breastfeeding e.g. here's a page about expressing, and there are lots of useful sections. This website was a lifeline for me when breastfeeding DS was at its rockiest.

Thank you it's good to hear from some one who has tried it's worth knowing he may not take to a bottle anyway or will take along time to do so.

Thank you for the website will have a look on that now

A friend of mine has been expressing from day one as her LO had difficulty latching. It has been a real burden, to get up and pump for each feed her child misses at the boob, if she had a choice just to latch her on she would do this in a heartbeat. I can understand that you (and your dh) have something in mind but it is important to be open minded at this stage as to have a 'plan' could end up with you feeling very disappointed (or dh feeling he was 'promised' something you, or baby, couldn't deliver) which would be far more harmful to any bonding experience - at a time when you may well be feeling very emotionally fragile. Like I said I can understand that you want information, to be informed and prepared, but be informed with an open mind as it seems very much like you are not happy being told that it may all be a bit too much. My midwife was very helpful after the birth as this is when they can weigh up all the contributing factors, which of course also includes the temperament of your child and what they want. You can plan all you like but feeding is a dance with two partners and you both have to learn the steps. I wish you lots of happy times with your LO and hope they don't put in too early an appearance

I bfed DD for 3 years and now bf newborn DS while doing the dogs and horses, no problem! In fact walking the dogs is one of the best things you can do when sleep deprived, it doesn't involve driving, it gets you out in the fresh air and wakes you up.

Take it one step at a time with bf. you can certainly express now and store if that helps reassure you. When the baby arrives bf can be a bit of a full time job but there are ways of adjusting. A sling can be very helpful, you can pop the baby in the sling, bf when you need to and be hands free to play with older DCS, walk the dogs and muck out the horses.

One of the best ways to bf at night is the lying down position. You get a lot more sleep even early on. For example 7 week old DS has been feeding lying down from 10pm to now, is just up for a big feed in the cradle position and will feed again lying down till morning, which is not too bad sleep wise. I think getting up to pump would be a nightmare in comparison but some people do it.

I'm expressing as my daughter was tiny and in nicu for three weeks. Breastfeeding support in the unit was rubbish and she has never managed to latch on consistently. It does mean my husband can feed at night while I express and he likes that, but it also means that when he is at work the days are a constant cycle of feed, express, change. It would be much easier if output and input were not separated! As I am expressing while he feeds her at night I am not gaining sleep. I also hate all the washing and sterilising. It is not what I wanted but at least the baby is getting my milk.

Be careful about expressing colostrum now. You risk triggering early labour.

With my DS, I couldn't have managed to express at the same time as exclusively bf as the expressing took so long (and there was never any spare gaps of time to do it).. Also it took us 8 weeks for him to really get the hang of latching properly so I needed him to practice and help sort outmy supply.
My dh was amazing at helping during the night feeds by winding him every other timeso we took turns in sleeping and he loved the night time snuggles post feed!

Not sure how helpful this is as it's all very individual, but I BF about 40 mins after coming round from the GA.

I think your plan could work, but only once BF is established and up and running. Think about what's realistic in terms of pumping. For example, I'm able to express one feed a day, but any more than that would be a huge struggle. Oh and invest in a great pump. Perhaps you can hire a hospital grade one?

I'll write more later but wanted to say if baby comes now and you have GA you won't see baby for a few hours. Baby won't be able to latch for another 3 weeks yet although you may get to try in a couple of weeks. harvesting colostrum could be useful but you'd need some 1ml syringes as that's all they'd have at this stage.

Is there an infant feeding coordinator at your hospital you can speak to? Perhaps they could help you get a plan in place for the immediately after the birth bit if the midwife is being less than helpful- and then you can call on them in hospital if needed as well. PALS should be able to get you their details if you can't get hold of anyone else.

For what it's worth, my DD had hand-expressed colostrum from a syringe for a couple of days (she couldn't latch- wasn't premature but was tiny) and it was fine- they need such a tiny amount it was ok to get it and I don't think would have been helpful to have it earlier with the logistics of transporting it frozen etc. But you may want to look up hand-expressing as well so you are prepared.