who do you allow to bottle feed your baby??

[newmum36]

Having a bit of a run in with dh....He thinks I'm being possessive but I don't really like anyone other than him, me or the grandparents who look after him occastionally to feed him....Am I being strange/ a control freak ? As I've said to my dh our ds is a human being not an animal in a zoo but he'll offer him up to be fed (friends, other family) and I'm not happy about it....
Interested to know what others do. If I was bf, only I'd be able to do it after all....

Hi there, generally, while my dd was still being ff me, or dh would be the ones to do it, but mainly because no-one else was particularily interested in doing it (family 100's of miles away and about the 10th grandchild/neice etc) and also she had reflux and used to spectacularily thow up entire bottles with no warning! How old is your ds? I think I do remember being a bit possessive about me being the one giving her the bottle, but as she got older it passed.

I wa slike this with ds in the early months as he needed to be fed upright so he wasn't sick due to reflux but now I'll happily let anyone have a go even my 3 year old dd.

Anyone who was there at the time(obv not complete strangers), more time for me to relax or get other things done.

I dont think its odd though, I imagine we all had a 'thing'.

I felt really strongly about this with dd. She was ff after a month of breast feeding. I felt really guilty about giving up breast feeding, and couldn't let anyone else feed her as I saw it as my role (even dh only fed her very occasionally). My MIL was desperate to feed her, but I couldn't let her until dd was about 5 months old.

Sounds perfectly reasonable for a new mum such as yourself. Ds has never been fed by anyone other than us, grandmas, his cousin once and my babysitter a couple of times. It wouldn't really bother me now if someone else did it (he's 15 months) but definitely wouldn't have liked it when he was little. No very good reason except it's such a bonding experience.

thanks for that...as a first time mum, I think I'm going through a bit of a possessive phase and like a good cuddle with my little boy when I can. I'm sure that this'll pass when he's driving me up the wall in the depths of a windy wet winter !!...and I'm sure that if I have a few more then I'll be keen to offer them up to all and sundry.

I would have let any friend/family feed my dd. It is the way it has always been in our family that when there is a baby around you do everything you can to give the parents a rest. It was quite nice sometimes to have a hot cup of tea whilst my sister fed baby. Most of my family would happily wash up after a cup of tea, offer to put a wash on and offer to cook or do some shopping. Most of this lasts until baby is about 6 weeks old. I took full advantage of this . Not many offers to cook my meals now dd is 9 months old.

BUT... if you don't want anybody else to feed you baby then stick to your guns and explain to DH it is really important to you. I do think with me it was just what i was used to having 16 nephews/nieces i have helped sisters and brothers out lots so it was the norm for me.

Once DD was FF (6 weeks in end) I was happy to let any of our friends or family feed DD. I loved feeding my baby niece last weekend; was so snuggly - took me back to DD's baby days.

You must do what feels right for you - and dh should accept it. But it sounds as if there are lots of other people who love your baby and you and would love to help you and bond with your baby. One of the advantages of ff is that other important people in your baby's life can feed him. You will get less protective as he gets older, I promise!

Erm, I think myself, dh and my mum usually.

If MIL was visiting she would do some feeds.

I think my best friend probably fed them at some point.

I was very possessive about ds3 though - I think because I knew he was my last baby I wanted to do everything, particularly in the first few months.

Anyway, do what you are comfortable with - he's your baby.

Err.....noone