please help - having major cold feet about breastfeeding

[ithoughtofitfirst]

I ebf my son. Cut a really long story short got pnd, went on ADs and stopped at 9 weeks. Switched to ff with no issues. It didn't improve the pnd but at least i got to rest which i'd struggled to do while bf.

I'm taking sertraline this pregnancy (40+4 weeks now) so that i can bf again... but now i'm just dreading the sleepless nights and being the only person who can do the feeds. I just think... what if i'm depressed and just need a good night sleep?

Should i mixed feed? Express? Has anyone had any success doing some of but not all of the feeding??

Any advice kind people?

You have to do what's right for you I think.

I have heard that expressing is very hard work, and personally I'm too lazy to do that when I could just whip out a boob. I had pnd with Ds, and have it again now with dd. I chose / choose to ebf because for me, that's something that only I could do for them and not fail at. Sleep deprivation is a killer though, and I get so tired still I could cry. We get around it by co sleeping though again I realise is not for everyone. I fed for 19.5 months, 2.5 years and dd currently 15 months. I'm feeling quite worn out by it all now and sometimes feel like stopping but that's another story!

You do whatever you need to do to get you through. That's my view on parenting in the early days

Good luck with your baby.

Just take one feed and one day at a time OP. Every feed helps.

Lots of women successfully mix feed, and this might work well for you. I know this is easier said than done, but try not to make feeding a source of stress. It's just milk. Your milk or formula. As long as she's fed, that's what matters.

And yes to getting help with all the other stuff. When DD was tiny I did little but feed myself and feed her. Not much else is important, but I know it's not that easy when you have older ones to entertain.

Just play it by ear. I totally understand how severe sleep deprivation affects your mental health.

BF protects against PND? Can you link to the evidence for that please?

Just a quick reply as I'm getting DS to bed, I was terrified of getting PND with DS2 as I had it so horrendously the first time round....but despite being even more sleep deprived and having both of them to look after (and bfing!) it never came back, So it's not a given that you will go through it again. I'm sure others will have great advice re bfeeding, good luck!

It is possible to do most but not all of the feeding. Also it is possible to feed your baby and then hand over for resettling duties in the night.
I struggle massively with sleep deprivation, I'd say I'm about 95% breastfeeding still. I did bf the first two weeks and then started expressing small amounts, Max 2oz a day, this was enough for a bottle every other day. My husband gave it while I slept in a different room. I found missing a late evening feed worked best for me.
By about 8 weeks we introduced formula, expressing isn't easy with a two year old trying to help! Just two or three formula feeds a week makes a huge difference.

Thanks Madrigals!

Oh wow thank you everyone.

madrigals excellent tips thank you.

I really do want to bf cause it is fab from what i remember. I think i will just aim to take one feed at a time and see how i get on. I will just ebf for the first few weeks until my milk supply regulates a bit and then introduce expressing or formula. Getting dh to help with all the other stuff should help ease the pressure a bit as you guys suggest.

It's only a few weeks in the grand scheme of things!

Thanks again i feel much better about it today.xxx

I was worried about this but my DH is helping similarly to Madrigals and I've found it ok.
One thing I do is plan nothing for first thing in the morning! That way if I feel rough and dd is having her morning post bf snooze I go back to bed. It's a relief having that buffer zone handy (once you know when lo has their longest snooze!).

Thanks madrigals and squizita i feel better knowing that i'll be doing good stuff without needing to go all the way to the magical 6 months. I am looking forward to the cake and tea on the sofa and breakfast in bed

Here's not magical length of time to feed for. I aimed for a couple of weeks, then 6 weeks, then 3 months, then 6 months ... And I'm still feeding at almost 1. To be honest, once we got to 6 weeks there's never been a point where it felt bottle feeding would be easier.

Just take each day as it comes, and don't quit on a bad day!

Oh wow anything that's impressive! Good on you. I'd be happy with any of those lengths of time.

You're right about the 6 weeks mark, it was at that point with ds that bf was starting to get so easy and straightforward.

Totally agree with anythings advice. I originally only aimed to BF for a short time (6 weeks or so), but we kept going because by that time it was going well. However if I'd set a goal like 6/12 months at the start I'd have crumbled under the pressure.

Take it day by day. And I know quite a few people who introduced a bottle of formula/expressed milk once a day from early on so they could have a break from the night feeding. If worked really well for them. It doesn't need to be all or nothing.