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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Anybody else struggling with the temptation of formula?

26 replies

Inbl00m · 12/10/2014 20:25

5 weeks into bf DD and I'm mentally struggling. We've been lucky in that it's been pretty straighforward - she has a good latch, no tongue tie, etc. - and it's stopped being painful now, but she feeds on average 16 times a day. It's relentless. The formula alternative is sooo tempting. Has anyone else either switched or got past this stage to a better place with bf?

OP posts:
hollie84 · 12/10/2014 20:50

Have you tried a dummy? Some babies love to suck.

ShowMeShowMeTheWine · 12/10/2014 20:53

Just think, what if you switched and she still fed 16 times a day?! Confused

TheBuggerlugs · 12/10/2014 21:13

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This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

hollie84 · 12/10/2014 21:24

16 times is frequent, but equally 4 hourly is pretty unusual to!

TheBuggerlugs · 12/10/2014 21:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

lucy101 · 12/10/2014 21:36

I had all sorts of problems... but it was the 6 week mark when it all became easier and now at 6 months its easier still.

I had to mix feed my son and to be honest it was a lot more work and hence I was determined to make it work this time. I would second the advice to get to a BF cafe or breastfeeding support group just to see if there is anything you could improve.

Is this is your first? As mentally I found BFing much harder the first time as I just wasn't used to being patient and having to sit around and do what felt like nothing. I literally used to watch the clock and grit my teeth!

This time I have all sorts of treats and things I do when I BF (radio, laptop, box sets etc.)... but I have also learned to enjoy this time. I also breastfeed as much as I can laying down and have a rest too.

Hang on in there if you can as all the benefits of BFing seem to be further down the line.

lucy101 · 12/10/2014 21:37

Also.. my 6 month old still sometimes wants to feed every hour/hour and a half and then goes 4 hours but I don't find it a struggle now and I go with the flow more.

ByTheWishingWell · 12/10/2014 21:55

Hang in there! I remember those days with DD - it felt like we could never even get out of the house because of it. Just give in to it, get Netflix and a stock of biscuits and hole up on the sofa for a few weeks. Don't be afraid to ask for help, milk it while you can! I've never had so many cups of tea and lovely dinners made for me. Wink There's also breastfeeding support groups (both online and in real life) if you're struggling. It does get much easier relatively quickly.
DD is now 13 months and I'm so glad we stuck it out. Feeds are much quicker, we have no faff with bottles/pumps/sterilisers, I have instant comfort for when she gets grumpy.

Tonicandgin · 12/10/2014 22:01

I'm still bf at 12 mths and I promise it does get easier. Just take it a feed and a day at a time, you can always change your mind tomorrow.

It is relentless at first, but it gets easier after 6 wks and then much easier again after 12 wks (my feed times halved at this point).

Hang in there, at every feed, get the remote control, a DVD/sky +, drink, cake/biscuit and a load of cushions and relax. I know it's shattering..

And get some help to hold the baby, and let you sleep.

SellMySoulForSomeSleep · 12/10/2014 23:13

Agree wholeheartedly with all the previous posters. At 5 weeks it was still awful but by 6-7 weeks I started to find it easier. DD got more efficient and I learnt to relax. which i've always been awful at. The need to multi task is very strong

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 12/10/2014 23:23

Very few bf babies go 4 hours I'm afraid Buggerlugs.

Hang in there OP. It gets easier.

elsbethy · 13/10/2014 05:55

I'm sure my DS was feeding around 16 times a day at that point. I just didn't count the feeds! (I did get an app, in the early days, to track the feeds, but I soon realised that it was driving me slowly insane.)

After six weeks things definitely calmed down and it became noticeably.easier You're putting in brilliant groundwork right now. Hang in there.

MrsAtticus · 13/10/2014 06:05

Definitely try a dummy to see if that satisfies the need to suck. Hope you get through this difficult time and on to better times.

milkwasabadchoice · 13/10/2014 06:17

I had to wait to about 8 weeks with dd, but then it did get a lot easier. We both settled into more of a pattern. Still lots of feeds but less random and less painful. And when it works, it really works!

katandkits · 13/10/2014 06:37

16 is excessive in my opinion but not veryvexcessive it might be a temporary growth spurt which is common at that age. Hang in there and it should get easier soon. Equally if you need a_bit of a break the odd bottle is not a criminal offence! It doesn't have to be formula, you could try expressed milk first if you'd prefer. Sometimes watching the clock and keeping track of feeds can be depressing. Watch the baby not the clock and try not to worry about it. Lots of people switch in the first two months as it is hard at first. Really hard some days. Both times I have found it fairly easy by 8 weeks and easier still at 3 months. You will be glad you kept at it if you keep going now. I have my DH give 2 or 3 bottles a week to help me get the sleep I need. By six weeks your supply is fairly robust so missing a couple of feeds a week won't do any harm.

bugs four hourly means only six feeds a day. 8 is generally considered to be the minimum required for a young baby. Very very few bf babies go four hours in the day until they are eating solid food. Have you been reading any baby routine books? I tried that and the advice in them just really doesn't work with breastfeeding at all. The "every four hours" advice used to be given routinely to mums. Then surprise surprise the babies didn't gain enough weight and had to go on formula instead. Also I doubt you routinely go four hours without even a drink of water and you are much bigger than a baby.

LePetitPont · 13/10/2014 08:14

With regard to using a dummy, where would that fit in to the feed? Thanks.

hubbahubster · 13/10/2014 08:59

I FF DC1 and am BF DC2. Let me tell you, having to sterilise and make up bottles umpteen times a day is way more hassle than simply whipping out a boob! DC1 was a guzzleguts and I felt as if I was on a bottle-prepping treadmill. Going out was a constant stress in case I hadn't brought out sufficient formula. When we hadn't, the screaming and crying was AWFUL (from DC1, not me!).

Formula is not a magic bullet that will suddenly make your baby feed less frequently or take more. You are nearly through the toughest time of BF - 6-8 weeks and it all starts to become much easier. I found it best to take it day by day and now here I am, 20 weeks along and loving it :) you're doing GREAT.

BertieBotts · 13/10/2014 09:20

You know it's not all or nothing? If you want to give formula and carry on BF alongside that's an option as well. You need to be careful because it can affect supply but there are ways of doing it.

That said you're in the toughest part now, any day now it's going to start to get easier - 6 weeks is often a turning point. And at 12 or so weeks you can look forward to your milk supply regulating, so your boobs won't be huge and sore between feeds, you won't leak as much (or for some people at all!) and as they get bigger they get bigger tummies and more efficient at feeding.

Eminybob · 13/10/2014 09:29

DS is 13 weeks and I had the same wobble as you early on. Now sometimes he goes 1-2 hours, sometimes 4 depending on what we're doing and his mood. It really does get easier, a cliché I know but it's true. I used to feel I couldn't leave the house but now I just think sod it, he'll want to eat when he's hungry and I'll have to deal with that.

Bugs I don't think you get to decide how often to feed your baby I'm afraid!

Eminybob · 13/10/2014 09:34

Oh and I meant to add that the thought of having to prepare formula and sterilise bottles and all that malarkey seems more stressful than breastfeeding! Plus you still have to feed on demand so you could still be feeding as often but it'll take a lot longer with all the messing about.

For what it's worth, a feed for DS now only takes 10-15 minutes so it really is so much easier than I imagine formula feeding to be.

Imeg · 13/10/2014 10:18

I totally agree that it's not all or nothing - for me giving the odd bottle (we used both formula and expressed milk) really helped me carry on breastfeeding.
For me the biggest reason I was jealous of FF friends/relatives was not having to do every single night feed, as I found the sleep deprivation really hard, but when I thought about it rationally my husband would not have been helping more than once in a blue moon anyway, so in reality I would have been doing all the night feeds myself anyway, just with the extra hassle of making up bottles etc. I would sometimes express so that husband or my mum could take over for a few hours in the afternoon and let me nap.

I think there are pros and cons of both bf and ff but for me the biggest advantage of breastfeeding has been when going out - we've been out for the day on the train quite a few times, and it was much easier not having to worry about bottles.

TheGirlAtTheRockShow · 13/10/2014 20:10

Around 6 weeks is a growth spurt - that could explain the 16 feeds a day! After that things WILL get easier. Personally I don't see why everyone thinks formula is so much easier - having to make up feeds, wash and sterilise bottles etc.
however, if you need a break try giving the odd bottle, either expressed milk or formula. Introducing tha now will also mean you can leave your baby and get out for a while without worrying about next feed.

Original poster
Inbl00m · 13/10/2014 21:00

Thank you all SO much for the kind words, encouragement and reassurance. You've helped so much that I've set myself the mini goal of making it to 6 weeks and it feels doable Smile

I took your advice about not watching the clock and had a much better day with it. elsbethy I ditched the feed tracker app too, your post made me realise it was having the same effect! DD actually fed a more normal amount today as well - about 9 feeds so far - so it seems like the past 3 days could well have been a growth spurt. These babies eh...??

OP posts:
tiger66 · 14/10/2014 06:45

I'm going to offer the flip side. I have 3dc.

Ds1 was exclusively bf for 6 months. I had mastitis 6 times was on antibiotics lots, never enjoyed feeding ds1. He has had numerous ear problems and now suffers with separation anxiety age 7 which his mental health pychotherapist believes stems from bf!

Ds2 was bf for 10 days I had mastitis day 10 and ended up on I antibiotics as I was pretty poorly. I decided to make the switch to ff day 10 have a very happy healthy ds2 and it was the best decision I made.

Dd1 was born 6 days ago, I fed her for 4 days and realised that I wasn't bonding with her as although she was latching on well and feeding well, I didn't like it, I didn't want to feed her and boys were becoming resentful of having sister attached to me for so much time in the day. I made the decision to ff on day 4, well supported by the midwife, my husband and my MIL and my Mum. It was the best decision I made and my bond and the boys bond with their sister is now amazing.

The main point I am making is that you can have a healthy happy baby by ff. if mummy is happy, baby will be happy. If you aren't enjoying bf then their is an alternative. Yes it is slightly more taffy but my baby feeds in 15 mins rather than 1 hour, I feel more mobile to go places and my bond is so much better with my dd.

Whatever you decide will be the right decision, follow your heart and do what you feel is right for you.

elportodelgato · 14/10/2014 07:07

Hi there, just wanted to say that I bf'd for 9 months with DD1 and then 4mo with DD2 but it was NOT easy. The best thing I finally learned is that using formula is not 'failure' - there are no prizes for competitively breastfeeding at the expense of your sanity. Stopping bf-ing DD2 earlier than DD1 was the best thing I did for my own mental health. Having said that, I know how emotive it is and if you really want to continue then little goals are the way to go. Good luck, it can be very hard and I wish they mentioned that more at NCT Angry

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