help me to love bf-ing again

[tintinenamerique]

I'm very fortunate to have had no issues with breastfeeding. However this week I made the decision to slowly introduce mixed feeding to my 5 month old and failed spectacularly (he has a massive hatred of bottles apparently). He and I get so distraught when attempting to bottle feed I think it's better I abandon the bottle. I have had some success with a sippy cup in that he doesn't scream when presented with it, will tolerate milk from it in his mouth and even tries to guide it into his mouth himself. But it feels like a long long way from taking whole feeds from a zippy cup. So I'm resigning myself to having to breastfeed for much much longer than I wanted to, I guess until he self-weans at ????? (what age).

I have gone from enjoying feeding him day and night to resenting it, I feel like I'm stuck in breastfeeding prison and can see no escape. Please help me to fall back in love with it - I want to enjoy again and don't want these days to be more stressful and unhappy than they need to be.

Hello I have a 6 month old son who is EBF. I tried to introduce a bottle at 4 months old and it was pretty pointless, he just wasn't interested.

He does have a sippy cup and will happily drink from it, however me or DH have to hold it in place for him because he doesn't really understand what he's doing. He doesn't suck on the nozzle, just nibbles at it but he successfully gets the milk out and swallows it.

The problem I have though it that I just can't express large amounts. I'm lucky if I get 50mls in 30 minutes (and that's expressing off both breasts). So even if DS did drink well from a sippy cup I can't actually produce enough milk to substitute a breast feed anyway.

I wouldn't go as far to say I'm stuck in a prison but I do feel resentful at times. It's hard being tied to the baby and knowing that all feeding issues are my 'area'. I would love to be able to leave DH to do bedtime on one occasion but it will never happen.

I always planned to breast feed for as long as possible anyway but I do wish there was an alternative feeding method available to us as opposed to it being solely my responsibility.

Can DP/DH try with a bottle? Apparently the chance of a baby taking a bottle from it's mother is remote because they associate you with breast milk and can't understand why you're shoving something in their mouth when you and your breasts are right there.

I BF my DD1 until 4 months, but am now still BF DD2 who is 14 months.

I tried introducing a bottle at about 5 months and she was having none of it. I felt a bit like you. I really wanted to not have to do the nighttime feeding.

But then weaning comes along and you end up BF a lot less and can introduce a cup and before you know it they're 1 and can drink milk.

I've found BF an absolute godsend for dealing with teething wake ups, the odd comfort feed when needed and it's on tap and requires no cleaning up.

Why should bfing past five months mean having to bf to self weaning?

I came on to say the same as writer. Have you tried getting someone else to try with the bottle? Dd1 wouldn't take bottle from me but would take it at nursery.

Hi, support and advice very much appreciated. Have tried others giving bottle - he still hates it, I aim to persevere, but I'm trying to talk myself around to the idea of bf-ing for longer than the 6 months I intended if plans to introduce bottle/sippy cup don't work out.
Penguins - I may be being too pessimistic but I after watching ds's reaction to a bottle I can't see him giving up the boob any time soon. Maybe I can replace some (or even all) breastfeeds in time with cup feeds, I don't know - first timer - is that plausible? I will admit I am feeling quite (possibly overly) defeatist.

You're in the midst of a tough period anyway - growth spurt, developmental leap etc which means more feeding.

Soon you'll be introducing solids, soon he will cut down bf and soon you will feel freer. I bf both of mine and with my second I didn't bother with a bottle. I went back to work when she was 9 months old - she used straw cups to take milk but mainly had solids. I know it feels an age away but you won't be bfing forever.

You don't have to wait until he self weans! In a few months he will be much more easily able to use a cup (try one with a straw from 6-9 months as better matches the movements for BF so easier for him to "get")

The baby you have at 5 months is a world away from the baby you have at 9 months, which is again a world away from the baby at 12 months. Try not to get too worried that now is forever. There is no reason you should be feeding to self weaning at 2-3 unless you want to.

DD1 was a bottle refuser. By 11 months when I went back to work she got to the point where she could happily drink and eat enough not to need feeds in the day (never really pushed it before that so not sure if it would have happened sooner if forced.) I didn't wean her until much later (she self weaned when I was pregnant, at about 21 months), but by 12 months I think it would have been pretty easy to move onto cow's milk had I wanted to.

If you are keen to move to formula and stop bfing earlier than 1, there are still lots of things you can try. Different bottles may help (a lot of bf babies prefer the wide tommee tipee style ones), as may getting someone else to feed him and you going out (it can take quite a few goes), as can changing around the flow of the teats, the temperature of the milk, etc. He may drink well from a soft-spout sippy (rather than the hard ones). You haven't said what's in the sippy - is it formula or expressed milk? Some babies weirdly won't take expressed but will have formula. Others will only take formula if you introduce it bit by bit mixed with ebm until they get used to the taste. If you only started trying this week there is a whole menu of options.

Is there a reason you were keen to stop at 6 months - is it that you have had enough totally, or that you'd just like the freedom now and again, or something else? Moving to formula now does mean quite a lot fo the hard work of formula feeding still as milk is still very much the central nutrition. People might have different suggestions depending on what your aims are.

Hi OP, sorry you're having a rough time.

My DS (5.5 months) also had a violent reaction to any attempts to bottle feed him! We gave up trying because it just wasn't worth the trauma. It does mean I'm responsible for all his feeds, and that I'm not going to get a night off / out for a while. But he's my last baby, so I don't mind it as much. It feels kind of similar to being pregnant in a way - you make adjustments, but it's not forever.

I also agreed that in another couple of months things could all be different, and he could surprise up. It probably doesn't feel like it now, but they go through so much development at this age.

Thank you all - I was just have a bit of a panic that he was going to be breastfeeding until he goes to university!
I don't actually want to stop now - I would like for someone to give him a bottle once in a while can't for now, and that's not the end of the world. It is helpful to remember that soon he'll be on solids and at some point taking less milk. I have to remind myself that like everything else that's happened so far in his short life, this is a phase and will pass (to be replaced by another angst-making issue)

I'm also bf my 5 month old, and at the moment not loving it at all! However, this is my second baby, and i remember with my older child having phases where i disliked bf, and they did pass. Sorry i don't have any tips on helping you love it again, but you may find you like it more in a week/month/whatever and are glad you didn't stop. (Thats what i'm hoping anyway for myself). Good luck

You're at the hardest point. He needs a lot of milk to sustain him and he isn't at the point yet where food will provide some of that sustenance.

Introducing food in the next month will take the pressure off you a bit. Both of mine started taking a bottle once they were weaned. It was as though they realised that food could come from other sources and wasn't so bad after all.