Feel like giving up... :(

[flymo79]

Bf has become just so painful. I dread every feed and it's worst at night. Just don't know where to turn. Bf clinics, HV, LLL meets all exhausted, nothing has got better. Dd's latch is lazy and shallow despite watching all the videos and trying deep latch techniques

flymo how are you feeling now? Have you talked through your feelings with a BFC?

Has your Lo been checked for tongue tie at all?

Flymo, how old is your LO? Because most mums find they suddenly turn a corner somewhere between 6 and 12 weeks - it all suddenly falls into place and the pain subsides. But do check out the tt as JJJ advises.

In the meantime, I presume you're using lots of lansinoh? If the pain gets really bad, paracetemol helped me a lot and it's safe to take. Might be worth expressing a few feeds or using nipple shields to give you nipples a bit of a break.

There's nothing wrong with switching to formula. And if it's affecting your mood or bond with the baby then by all means consider it. But just wanted to reassure you that it does get a lot better. I went from hating BF at 6 weeks, to loving the experience by about 9 weeks.

Thanks very much both, dd is 9 weeks old. She is gorgeous, bright and alert , but bf doesn't seem to satisfy her and is really hurting me. Have tried to get her checked for TT, but all mw's seem to think there isn't one. Also trying to make contact with bf counsellor to little avail. Seems like support in my area is a bit shoddy

It is hard when you don't get much support. Have you called one of the helplines yet and talked through stopping bfing?

If you are struggling and don't want to continue, ultimately it is your decision. I bf ds1 for 6 months and never really liked it. I bf ds2 for 10 days and was admitted into hospital for I've antibiotics whereby I made the decision to stop. It was the best decision i made. Bf dd1 for 3 days before realising that it was affecting my bond. I really didn't want to bf and so day 4 started ff and never looked back. It was the best decision for all our family. I feel a much better person and am loving being a mummy of 3 rather than hating it because of the bf.

You are not failing if you stop. If you want to continue, really push to get the support but if you want to stop, do. My ff ds is healthier and happier than bf ds1 and I strong,y believe It was because I was happier. Breast clearly wasn't best for ds1!

Good luck and here for hand hold If you need. X

Fly mo it sounds like you will probably have tried all the things I'm going to suggest and the decision to give up is completely valid and if you feel it's the right decision then I would do it. If you want to keep trying, a few things that may or may not help:
I found bf really painful for a while AFTER I'd sorted out latch issues because the damage was already done so to speak. Is your dd putting on weight? Is she happy otherwise? Really recommend lanisinoh, using a v pillow and footstool to get more comfy and trying different holds like rugby ball but you've probably already done this. Any other symptoms? Could one or both of you have an infection. Is she distrested after feeds, have things like silent reflux been ruled out? Have you tried your GP to access support? Really feel for you, it's excruciatingly painful when feeding not working properly.

Bear in mind it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I was in just your position at 9 weeks. Evenings were particularly bad as she would want to feed nonstop, and by the end of the evening I'd be crying with pain. DD was also falling percentiles (from 25th to 5th).

Anyway, we decided to add one bottle of formula early evening and see what happened. OH would give her the bottle around 7 while I cooked dinner, and it filled her up enough to get to an 11pm breast feed which would send her off to sleep.

Within a few days my nipples were starting to heal. I think having that evening breather made all the difference. A couple of weeks later I was pain free, and at 22 weeks I am positively enjoying breast feeding (still with one bottle of formula in the early evening).

I know mixed feeding doesn't work for everybody but for me it was brilliant (and for DD who is now following the 9th percentile).

Good luck. Try not to worry too much. Formula is v g these days, you'll be doing a fab job either way!

LT x