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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Please some one help me, breastfeeding nightmare, don't know where to turn

16 replies

Rosie1988 · 01/10/2014 20:52

Please Help!!!!! I am at breaking point.

I breastfeeding my 1st until 20months. My son is 9 weeks old. He fed so well from day one, instantly putting on weight until 6 weeks. At around 6/7 weeks he starting fussing and not always latching well. Going on gulping air coming back off again. The cycle then repeated itself. Since its gotten worse and worse. He feeds well at night, and until last week was feeding every 2 hours day and night. Last night he went 11pm-5am which is a first. During the day he might latch on for a minute, but then he struggles with the fast flow I think and pulls off, I'll wind him change him etc and try again but he never goes back on. He screams if I put him in the position to go back on. Sometimes he will settle, he never cries like he is starving, and he often falls asleep without problem. I will try again when he looks sleepy and occasionally he goes back on and has 5 minutes. He never ever feeds beyond 5 minutes and most times it's no more than 2. But he is still now going 3 hours between looking hungry for food. He has a dr check up yesterday and although he has put on weight he has dropped a centile line. The dr said if he drops anymore lines he will have to investigate.

My HV says its because he has had a cold, but the problems started a good week before his cold. Which is now passing. All the HVs and peer support workers i have spoken to have been useless to be honest, offering no support or advice. He had his injections yesterday. I rang LLL helpline on Monday and was given tips to reduce milk production (feeding from one boob only for most of day then switch, and using scissor fingers during feed to slow it down, leaning back etc) the problem is I never get the opportunity to try out these techniques because he is rarely on my boob long enough! I have been using one boob though to reduce flow so hope that will help in a few days.

Tonight same as usual had 1 minute then wouldn't go back on. I tried a bottle of expressed milk which I never do to see if he was hungry or just tired etc. it's impossible to know what he wants these day because I can never rule out being hungry. He had 2oz then fell asleep.

I have been expressing 5oz every day at 7pm from 6 weeks because I wanted to have some spare in the freezer just in case. I don't know if this is relevant, I am however reducing slightly everyday to try and reduce production. My boobs often feel swollen and bumpy.

Please please help I am totally lost. I don't know whether to put it down to the cold, if my efforts to reduce flow will start working eventually, how long to leave it before I give up. I am every emotional about it and would hate to give up but I don't know what else to do please please help.

Rosie

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 01/10/2014 20:57

Your efforts to reduce flow will work - it does sound like oversupply. He sounds like he is basically ok but struggling with fast letdown. Reducing your supply should help with the letdown.

His weight doesn't sound too worrisome, but it sounds like both of you will be happier if you get your supply lowered a little bit.

tobeabat · 01/10/2014 21:00

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eagle2010 · 01/10/2014 21:01

Sorry you're struggling - it sounds very stressful for you.

I'm no expert but I found that when I was expressing daily (in prep for my sister's wedding) one of my boobs went production crazy. Consequently DS really struggled with that side.

I'd recommend leaving the pumping for a while to see if that helps. Could you hand express into a muslin for a few seconds before you latch him on?

How is his form? Plenty of wet/dirty nappies?

Could you go to a LLL meeting in person? Often it helps to see people/other mums (as you prob remember from first time round!)

Sorry I can't be more helpful. I hope things calm down for you soon ThanksBrew

heather1 · 01/10/2014 21:04

Could it be thrush? My Ds became very fussy when he had mouth thrush. You both need to be treated. Then he became a more settled feeder. I hope it gets better.

Rosie1988 · 01/10/2014 21:07

Do you think I should go back to the dr then and ask about reflux and ear infection? Is that something the dr could sort out?

I suspect my problems have started because of the pumping (also for my sisters wedding abroad at 6 weeks old totally stressful time!) so mine may have gone to production overload but I'm worried if I stop pumping totally I will be engorged and my son will struggle even more to latch on? So I pump still because usually the good feeds start from then till the morning.

I really appreciate you taking your time to respond. I feel so alone with this. I rang 30 local phone numbers on Monday till someone answered. My family don't have children and just say that at least iv tried some babies don't want to breastfeed.

Thank you for your help

OP posts:
SnowPetrel · 01/10/2014 21:12

My two have been solely bf and long experience has taught me that 90% of their troubles are down to trapped wind. I'm not saying this should be tried at the expense of more qualified advice, but are you winding him religiously after feeds, and also the main thing to try which has REALLY helped settle my two is: you sit somewhere (on bed is comfiest) with your knees up. Sit baby on your tummy so his back is resting on the tops of your thighs. Then tilt his bottom forwards and upwards a little by gently holding his feet and raising them a little. The aim is to get his bottom slightly curved, iyswim. A few mins (sometimes as much as 10 or 15) of sitting like this invariably relieves trapped wind (or poos they're worrying about!) for my two and results in a much calmer feed. Would recommend trying it. I think that until they're more mobile they struggle to release tummy wind through naturally moving around like older kids and adults do.

waddleandtoddle · 01/10/2014 21:15

I'd second stopping expressing, hand expressing a little before a feed to prevent a fast let down and ruling out thrush which usually shows on nipples more than baby's mouth it's that hard to see. Lie on your back to feed is another thing to try (baby lying on top of you). Also, which I know is weird, but I found upping garlic in take helped. Kills colds and massively reduces thrush. It gets better! !

Rosie1988 · 01/10/2014 21:17

When my HV came last week she told me to stop with infacol I did for a few days and things have definitely become worse since. So I started again and hoping it will build up again and improve. I just don't know what to try next. I can address the wind as you suggest and keep working to reduce flow. How long would you leave it before seeing a dr or trying something else?

Thanks again for your help

OP posts:
tobeabat · 01/10/2014 21:22

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tobeabat · 01/10/2014 21:26

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FloJo151 · 01/10/2014 21:46

hi, I agree with going back to docs to rule out anything else. it does sound like an overactive letdown. How was it feeding with your first? did they show any of the same things?

my ds3 really struggled with my fast let down, showing similar signs that u describe. the lying back and feeding really did help. I used to lay back on a chair supported by pillows and hold baby in a kind of modified rugby ball hold so she was as upright as possible.

also some babies do feed very efficiently so it might be possible that he is getting what he needs for now within the time he is on, especially if he is going imbetween feeds without displaying hunger cues.

I would also say that dropping 1 centil isn't usually a worry, I think most babies do this.

im not an expert in all this though but hopefully someone like TicTok will be along soon as she is great.

hth

Rosie1988 · 01/10/2014 21:55

I had no problems with my first she was a dream!

I have tried laying back with baby on my tummy feeding but he doesn't usually latch on. He really fights feeding which makes confused, is he hungry and frustrated or just doesn't want milk!

Ok i will go back to drs then. If I stop pumping do you not think it'll make night feeds bad too? I will try have let down in a muslin then putting him on.

So you would just keep going till things improve? And try all of above in mean time keeping an eye on weight? I feel like everyone around me is waiting for me to give up and I really don't want to.

Thank you for your support.

OP posts:
BadPenny · 01/10/2014 22:45

Sounds like a tricky situation OP!

I know these may not apply to you, but here's a checklist of some possibilities:

www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=doc-SWGF

So often bf problems can get worse the more stressed they make us. I really notice when I feed my dc2 who is still going at 18 months that if I'm stressed it can take her ages to get a let down... Try to relax as much as possible and put aside any anxiety when getting ready to bf (if poss!)

Skin to skin contact can really help with this, and anything else that helps you relax.

Thanks
tobeabat · 03/10/2014 13:49

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TarkaTheOtter · 03/10/2014 13:59

I got terrible oversupply with dd after I started pumping once a day. I found if I could take dd off when I felt letdown, let the milk spurt into a muslin for a bit, then pop her back on she was a lot more settled. Ultimately though, not pumping was the real solution.

katandkits · 03/10/2014 14:07

Same here. Unless I am pumping because i have been out and missed a feed (fat chance) i can pump no more than 2, maybe 3 oz a day before it causes problems. 5 oz is a lot of milk to pump compared with what your baby probably drinks per feed. Some babies do feed faster than others anyway. Hopefully if you stick to one breast per feed for a few days and cut out the pumping things will settle down.

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