Baby losing weight, topping up with formula but scared she'll refuse breastfeeding

[Mumtobeyorkshire]

My baby is currently a week old. I had a very traumatic birth and lost a lot of blood. This combined with a lot of stress at home (having to move house when DD was 3 days old because of threatening neighbours) has meant my milk has been quite slow.

For the first few days DD would cry almost continuously and constantly latch on then off and on then off and it was clear she wasn't getting enough milk.

The midwife weighed her on day 3,5 & 6 and DD had lost 10% of her birth weight so they said I needed to breastfeed every 12 hours, pump whatever was left and offer that, then top up 3 feeds a day with formula.

We started this yesterday and DD seems to be much more settled.

My fear is that she will prefer bottle to breast (as she is already a fussy breastfeeder) and I will end up formula feeding full time which is not what I was hoping to do!

I am literally writing this with tears falling down my face. I want what is best for her health but I'm also sad that she seems to feed easier on a bottle.

Any advice?

For the first 3 days it's generally just colostrum and then your milk comes in. Most babies loose weight initially. I think your mw should be supporting you more in breast feeding tbh.

First things first are you eating and drinking enough? Are you feeding her on demand and having lots of skin on skin? Has she been checked for tongue tie?

At this stage I would honestly try and sit, relax and feed as much as you can from you.

If she has lots of wet nappies, she's getting enough.

Have you spoken to La Leche or an nct breastfeeding counsellor? Is there a local breastfeeding clinic you can visit? It's early days but I think the mw has you panicked now. Seek help and feed on demand. Your milk will pick up.

Have you read the kellymom website? I found that hugely helpful.

I took brewers yeast and fenugreek tablets to increase my supply. It seemed to help but I'm not sure if it's best advice.

Wish I could give you a squeeze. Please don't worry. It will be ok.

(((Un mumsnetty hugs))) It's so hard when you get off to a wobbly start, and your hormones are raging. If you want to get back to exBF then you can. The first thing I'd do is get in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor to see if her technique can be improved, has she been checked for tongue tie (and if so get another opinion it's often missed). I assume you mean you are feeding every 1-2 hours then expressing. Even if you are not getting much expressed milk it's worth continuing with this as it will stimulate your supply. The formula top ups can be gradually reduced as your expressed volume increases - so I'd aim to be expressing enough for her needs first, whilst working on the BF technique to get back to feeding directly only. It's really hard work fitting in the feeding/expressing/topping up, make sure someone else is doing literally everything else and you get as much rest as possible, are fed and watered, and having some skin to skin cuddles. I'd suggest feeding at least 3 hourly at night until you get good weight gain.
I had problems with my DD who was 3 weeks early and only 5lb9oz. She had to be tube fed for a few days then I had to do 3 hourly feed/express/ top up round the clock. Hiring a hospital grade double electric pump makes a difference, it's around £45 for the first fortnight including next day courier delivery for a medela pump, direct from medela or from expressyourselfmamas. I fed from one breast for 15 mins then expressed both sides and topped up. Within the 2 weeks we were back to breastfeeding and haven't looked back.
Good luck, don't be despondent, it won't be like this forever

Why are they weighing so much? Honestly if the baby pees or poos before weigh in that's any weight gain apparently gone...

Breastfeeding twice a day and pumping? Sounds like rubbish to me- the best way of increasing your supply and establishing breastfeeding, is to feed, feed, feed. Babies are way more effective than pumps.

Can you take yourself to bed and feed as much as possible?

My hv advice was to stop weighing and look at the whole baby. If they are weeing, pooing, sleeping, crying and generally looking ok then they probably are.

I was also told that formula top ups can cause extra problems as they can mask a genuine problem by boosting weight.

Remember you can refuse to weigh her. Our m/w offer, but strongly hint that you might not want to disturb the baby :)

I'd sack the m/w and get some advice from la leche or your local bf support group.

You were told to bf every 12 hours . Are you sure ? Can you contact a bf counsellor (NCT, LLL, independent) as that advice sounds a bit odd. Newborns need to feed little and often, every couple of hours at least or whenever she stirs. Offer bf first then a couple of oz of formula/ebm . Gradually she may take more from breast and less bottle. Don't be misled into thinking that the expressed amount reflects what she is getting direct . Is she alert , wet nappies ?

My DD born 5 months ago lost 10% over same period and I was told this was exactly normal. I would say on the face of what you have just said everything is fine! Seek a second RL opinion?

Thanks for all the support- original message meant to say breastfeed every 2/3 hours! I will contact local support groups, fingers crossed- I just want a healthy breastfeed baby!

Hi Mumtobeyorkshire,
I'm in the same position as you. My daughter is 6 weeks old now and we had problems with her weight gain. I was trying to breast feed only but she was very slow to gain and is still not back to her birth weight (although there is a query about whether it was correct). I've been advised by different MW/HV to top up different amounts and also got referred to the paediatrician. She found nothing wrong with her apart from slow weight gain.
I am now following advice and topping up every 3 hours with 90ml of formula milk and now over the last few days, she has started to refuse breast.
She latches on briefly and then comes off and screams. She cannot be settled until she gets her bottle. Its heart breaking as I tried so hard to get breast feeding established...

Great to hear you are getting face-to-face help. Maybe ask them about using an at-breast supplementer like the SNS instead of a bottle. You have the baby latched on and the top-up (formula or expressed milk) comes into their mouth at the same time via a teeny tube that you tape next to the nipple. It means they can get extra milk but still only be 'breastfeeding'.