How do I stop breastfeeding ? (Sounds silly but am serious!)

[Mummy321]

I am breastfeeding my 16 month old. I knew I wanted to breastfeeding her and not bottle feed, and thankfully I was able to work through those early painful days/weeks!

Anyway, I never intended to be one of those mums who did extended breastfeeding (I thought getting to a year would be good). I don't want to stop right now (I do enjoy providing for her, and can't imagine a "last feed", I don't intend having any more kids so will be emotional!) but I do want to stop, soon.

I'm back at work so we feed morning and night. She is very happy breastfeeding and it's what she wants first thing in the morning, and as soon as i come home from work.

How do we even think about stopping??

I have been a single mum for a year so there is no one else to give her milk/do night time routine . So every morning/night, if I am trying to wean her, she will sitting on me and able it smell my milk. She obviously is too young to understand taking it away.

Any advice?

Ummmmm....it's not clear what you want to do??
Is it that you want a plan, an idea for the future, with the future not being now but some time ahead?

One point: I don't think smelling your milk is relevant at 16 mths. She is easily old enough to know and understand this lovely and loving snuggly experience comes when she is with you and comes from you, and she shares it, without having to smell anything?? it's your presence not your fragrance, that she loves.

There are some helpful books about weaning toddlers. I'll try and post some later. You could also phone a bf helpline and talk about it. There are lots of options and you need to work out which is comfortable for you. I get from your post that you want this done gently and sensitively.

Why is it you want to stop and what time frame?

Tiktok is an expert and I'm not, but my personal experience was that morning feeds were quite easy to distract (DD1 actually self weaned during my next pregnancy, but there were days before she did when pregnancy sensitivity meant it was painful and I wanted her not to). She associated snuggly cuddles in bed with feeding, so we just got up and about fast and offered her a snack (and within a really short period she forgot about it and did just cuddles).

For the evening feed, a gentle first step might be moving it to before bath/teeth/story if you don't already? Lots of books recommend 'don't offer/don't refuse', but I found with DD2 that the rituals of morning and night were so embedded that she never didn't ask. You had to shift the rituals about a bit. Mind you, she didn't fully wean until I was next pregnant either. Not sure what to do with DS as I can't keep having babies to wean the previous one!

Thanks both. My post wasn't entirely clear, sorry, perhaps I should read some some books.

I guess I'm just slightly conscious that if I don't stop soon, and make a conscious effort to stop, that I may be breastfeeding for 2 or 3 years to come?! In my head I just don't want that, but the reality is that I am quite emotional about actually putting it into practice. So I guess I'm thinking another couple of months then trying to wean her off.

" if I don't stop soon, and make a conscious effort to stop, that I may be breastfeeding for 2 or 3 years to come?!"

Not necessarily! DS1 stopped BF very gradually and was entirely finished at 2.5, he just got less interested in feeding. In fairness the nudge that got rid of the last bedtime feed was me being pregnant, which may be a bit of a drastic step! But it's definitely not the case that if you don't "do something now" that you're going to end up BF a 5 year old. I think that's a real What To Expect When You're Scaremongering thing, that you need to actively stop sooner rather than later or it'll be TOO DIFFICULT/THEY'LL REMEMBER/ROD FOR YOUR OWN BACK/OMG BITTY, etc. etc. And you can always start mother-led weaning at any time if it gets too much for you - as PP said, distraction seems to be the key for toddlers.

Try 'How Weaning Happens' which is quite an old book, but quite good; available 2nd hand on amazon for a few quid.

I stopped at about 18mo. It was the first step towards stopping cosleeping.

I slowly cut out the morning feed but just getting up and getting dressed, if she asked I gave her a feed but she didn't really ask.

For the night one (the one that sent her off to sleep!) I have her a few days warning. We talked about how she was a big girl now and soon she wouldn't need mummy's milk to go to sleep but that she'd have a cuddle instead.

On the day I reminded her a few times that there would be no mummy's milk at bed time and she chimed in 'cuddle instead'. She had a few years but went to sleep fairly quickly and never asked again.

She does sometimes pat my boobs and say 'mummy's boobs and mummy's milk' and I reply something like 'yes but you don't have mummy's milk anymore do you'

Thanks all. I guess I just want a plan, and there's some good advice there, thanks . Will get that book!

I've just stopped feeding my 2.5 year old, we tried gradually cutting back and distraction but they didn't work with him, he was boob obsessed so in the end we talked about it over a week or so and then just stopped completely, he's older though so could explain a lot more to him.

That was about 4 weeks ago, we still have the odd request for boob or he wants to go to sleep holding it but otherwise he's been brilliant.