Dont know how much longer I can do this, starting to feel ill, is it normal?

[ZumZee]

I can't remember whether it still classes as normal or not. dS is bf, 14weeks and still feeding every 2 hours at night. So he's up at roughly 1,3,5. Not big feeds, little snacks, usually just 1 side. And frequently then wants to suck and suck afterwards even if not feeding, cries and cries when put in cot and makes sucking noises. So really difficult to settle, and I reckon I get about 3 hrs a night in 45 min chunks. I have 2 other children to look after and am starting to feel ill, worried about driving etc.

His ideal situation is to cosleep as he sucks and snoozes all night. But I am so tired, paranoid about SIDS, and it means DH has been sleeping in another room for months. Also weather getting colder and having to sleep with covers low is not comfortable. Sometimes he feeds all evening and I think great, tanking up. But then he wakes an hour later still.

He doesn't really sleep during the day unless on boob or in car. He seems to have to be feeding in order to sleep. Have tried dummy, not interested.
His weight is fine, HV just said he's getting what he needs so all ok.
Do I just leave it and it will suddenly improve one day, or is there something I need to tackle as it won't get better? I am so so tired and brain-fugged, I can't function like this much longer. I just need to know does it sound normal and will be ok soon?

Hi hopefully someone better will be along with an answer soon but I wondered if you'd tried a bed nest? That way you can sort of co sleep but the baby would be in his own space so you could have the covers up and hopefully you wouldn't worry so much about sids. You can rent them from the nct for 6 months for £99 or you can buy them.

Not sure I can offer much help but I'm in the same boat as you. My first DS was a rubbish sleeper for the best part of 3 years so was hoping this one would be better but he's not . We have a bednest which helps but I feed him back to sleep and then he wakes anything from 15 mins to one hour later all night long. He's 5 months now and isn't improving yet. I've been poorly with mastitis the last few weeks and now have a stinking cold and feels really run down with the lack of sleep. It's hard going isn't it and especially hard with others to look after. All I can suggest is rest as much as possible in the day and get people to help out if it's possible. I let DS watch some TV or a film then feed my little one to sleep and put my head back and rest for half an hour. It just helps to recharge a little bit. Fingers crossed for you it improves soon!

I'm going to be unpopular for saying this but I'd be doing some sort of sleep training so that they learn to fall asleep without a boob in the mouth...

There are more gentle ways of doing this that leaving them to cry, have a look at the No Cry Sleep Solution.

My first dd was a terrible terrible sleeper and we started sleep training at 16 weeks, she was sleeping through the night a week later and more or less has ever since (she's nearly 3 now).

I know some people think they can't self soothe so young but plenty of babies do. Life gets much better when everyone gets good rest (including the baby)... And having been through total sleep deprivation I now believe that teaching them to sleep is one of our jobs as a parent.

It may be normal although it sounds desperate, my bf dd used to wake 3 x only on the really bad nights. Tbh you need more sleep and you need to find strategies to get it. I found my HV only cared about the baby's weight and her bf/weaning targets unless you say you have PND, which I'm sure is another target. Your support network has to back you up more so you can sleep when the baby's sleeping/get more overall sleep. Can the baby take some expressed milk from a bottle so you can get some decent sleep while someone else takes over, or can someone floor walk with the baby for a few nights so you get better chunks? The feeding may get better, or not, but it doesn't sound like you should just carry on without a rest.

Hi OP, there may be something else going on here which is causing your LO to feed so often. How are your nipples feeling - are they sore at all? Has this 2 hourly feeding been pretty constant since he was born or has it got worse? There is a growth spurt around the 4 month period too & a sleep regression.

I sympathise - I co-slept with mine until she was 11 months & then we had to resort to cc to get her into her own room as I was absolutely desperate.

Zumzee it's so exhausting DS1 was like this.
I introduced a bottle in the evening, first expressed milk but then went onto formula and that gave me a break (DH would give it) and he slept a bit longer.
Also we persevered with dummy and once he took it I stopped being his dummy! I used to slip him off the boob once he was sleepy and just comfort sucking and would slip dummy in instead.
Later we also did sleep training (super nanny)
It's so exhausting really feel for you hope you get it sorted soon x

Thanks for the responses. He's been in bed with me for the rest of the night, sucking pretty constantly. This also means he's been on his side all night, not his back, which is another thing to worry about. When he's in his crib he also keeps getting on his side, reaching out looking for me.

I am going to look into a bed nest, he won't be going into his room any time soon so that might be a good investment. You've also reminded me I have a copy of the No Cry book somewhere that I should find. I'm not very good at expressing tbh but I can give it a go. I need to find the discipline to go to bed at 8 with the children and leave DH with the baby, he'd be happy to do that. I haven't tried dummy since about 8 weeks so maybe I should revisit it and do the slipping in idea.

He's always been like this, from birth. He had TT which was snipped at 4 weeks. No soreness or anything. He is a bit sicky and I wondered about reflux, but it doesn't seem to happen at night, only in the day when you bend him in the middle / strap into carseat etc.

I agree with Ninjaturtle - sounds like your LO just can't get back to sleep by themself. Exactly the same situation I was in. I did sleep training at about 16/17 weeks and within 3 nights my DS was going 7-9 hours before waking for a feed I.e when he was hungry not just when he naturally stirred from a sleep cycle. He was able to self settle for small wake ups.