Won't latch, expressing and formula

[Hedgehog1977]

Hi,

My first ds is now 9 days old. It was quite a traumatic birth (emcs as his heart rate kept dipping) and I think because of this we never got breast feeding established in the hospital. He was drowsy and wouldn't feed apart from a couple of tiny sippy cups and after 48 hours we had to give him a bottle as the midwives were worried about him as he was still drowsy and was shaking.

Since then I have been perservering with attempting to breastfeed, expressing and bottlefeeding. He mainly won't latch on, he did for one feed on Thursday and 4 times yesterday, although I still had to top up with expressed milk and formula. I'm getting around 30 ml per pumping session and then he's taking around 60 of formula afterwards. When I get him on the breast it doesn't seem to make any difference how much he takes although he is definitely getting some.

I'm just not sure how long to keep trying for and to keep this up. I desperately wanted to feed him myself and it never occured to me I wouldn't be able to. Dh goes back to work on Sunday and I've only been able to keep this up as he has been doing everything else. He does most of the sterilising while I'm trying to breast feed then when it doesn't work he feeds ds while I express (although I sometimes give him the expressed breast milk myself. I don't know if I can do this on my own especially in the night (he works nights).

When I'm trying to feed ds he either gets really agitated and screams and moves his head from side to side, or rests on my breast and goes to sleep.

Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice or opinions on how long it is realistic to try for? And how to cope with feeling so guilty I can"t feed my little boy properly?

Hx

I has the exact same problems as you but was caused by tongue tie. Naively I didn't anticipate any problems breastfeeding either which made I talk the worse.

It took a lot of perseverance - hard when they are screaming in frustration & hunger I know - and nipple shields. There were lots of tears from us both! It's reality important to relax yourself & be comfortable as baby will sense your stress & stiffness. Re the sleep I strip him to his vest, tickle his feet & blow on his face. As he has got older he is getting better at staying awake to feed.

Midwife was really supportive as was DH which helped. You need a lot of support & being looked after to be able to preservere with it. Like you I was worried about husband going back to work so I gave it my all that last wk.
He now latches on well with shields but I still express 4 times a day as apparently they can cause supply problems long term - freezer is building up nicely!

I'm by myself 3 nights a week. I express once in the night & 3 times throughout the day. It's hard but more than Doable. J is 5 wks & I promise it gets easier every week & is so worth it. Like you I was so used to expressing anyway it has became second nature & it helps keep supply up.

I'm going to a breastfeeding support group this wk & I'm hopeful I will be able to wean him off the shields but HV isn't convinced as he doesn't want to open his mouth wide enough for the breast. Again, I will work hard at it but If not I will keep going as I am with shields, still better than formula for me.
If shields hadn't of worked I was planning on exclusively expressing.

Good luck!!

Congrats on the birth of your little one. I would suggest getting to a breastfeeding support group if you can and/or give the NCT or Leleche breastfeeding support phone line a call. The first option is more ideal as they can look at the latch and ensure there is no tongue tie. The latter can give you some advice and give you some mental support.

It is important to get the latch looked at. Without seeing it, it is difficult to say, but when a baby is upset when trying to feed there maybe a positioning issue. Try to do your skin to skin contact as much as you can.

30ml for a first time mum is good. I could never express that much with my first. well done and you can do it.

You are in the beginning and it is difficult for all mums. It will get easier whatever you decide to do. the best thing with the bf group is that you will meet other mums and there is support.

Could you try & see a chiropractor or osteopath who specialises in babies? Sometimes the pressure of being pushed against your pelvis can cause jaw/neck pain do they don't want to latch?
I also second shields if it means they will feed. Mine used them for 5 months before deciding he'd had enough of them!

Thank you for the replies, I don't know where the last few days have gone!

Since Wednesday ds is latching on and we haven't topped him up since Thursday. We struggle a bit on the right side but he usually gets on eventually and I try to make sure I alternate.

We had a go with nipple shields but don't need them anymore and I went to a bf clinic yesterday, which was fab.

He's feeding a lot, every hour or two during the night, although we've been doing skin to skin all afternoon and he seems to bwe going 2.5 hours when.he's on.me.

Thanks for the help. I'm.sure I
'll be on for more.

Hx

I had the same problem, then my LO just got the hang of it. He wasn't completely comfortable until 3 months though and 80% of the time I had to feed in the rugby ball position. One thing I found an absolute life saver as it was like an insurance in case one day he couldn't latch on, I had a couple of spare cartons of formula. It was useful when he left a feed until he was very hungry ie slept a long time, woke up hungry and I could give him a spoonful to take the edge of and he could focus on the latch.
I really hope that your LO are settled now and you can enjoy all the bonding to come