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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Today was a bad day

27 replies

flymo79 · 16/09/2014 04:35

Dd still not gaining weight and I need to up her formula intake from one ff at bedtime to at least two in the day to ensure she is getting the calories. I'm expressing when she has her bottle. Have been so upset today as really wanted to ebf but it feels like either she isn't feeding as well as I thought she was or I'm not making enough milk. Either way I feel like an utter failure. Ff is such a faff and I just want to be able to put her on the boob when she's hungry not arse about with bottles and timings. Just feeling very

OP posts:

Quodlibet · 16/09/2014 04:42

Oh dear, I can understand why you feel disappointed.

How old is she? Is she falling off centiles? Who is advising FF? I only ask as my HV advised me to start pumping/giving bottles as my little one was still between 2 and 9 centile at 12 weeks. I ignored her and baby was fine - she is just a small baby.

Quodlibet · 16/09/2014 04:45

Should have also said - even if things arent working out the way you initially expected, you shouldn't feel like a failure. However you feed your baby, you are doing a wonderful job.

Original poster

flymo79 · 16/09/2014 05:30

Thanks quod. She is 5 weeks, was 9.5lb at birth and hasn't regained an 8% initial loss. HV is suggesting ff. I really wanted to see a lactation consultant and have left a bunch of messages... Am generally frustrated with the lack of RL support - not from friends and family but from hcps who just seem to pass new mums around. The HV actually said 'it's a shame because you really want to bf and others don't and they have all this milk'!! My jaw was on the floor! How is that helpful??! I mentioned I would want to express at the same time dd has her bottle and the HV was more concerned that I rest than I keep up my supply.... Really they just don't seem interested in supporting every woman's choice.
Sorry, rant over. I know I need to get the cal's into dd so am trying not to be stubborn about ff, I just have read so much on here about why bf can be hard and just desperately want some form of diagnosis/guidance

OP posts:

GinGinGin · 16/09/2014 05:46

Flymo has your latch been checked? Do you have any pain when dd is feeding? Is your dd generally ok in herself - is she very windy at all/writhing when feeding/pulling off boob? There are so many questions to consider when a baby isn't gaining weight. Also, do you live in the S Wales area at all?

Original poster

flymo79 · 16/09/2014 05:51

Hi gin
Thanks for posting. HV and midwives have 'checked' latch but I'm not convinced that it's right...they all say it's ok. I do get pain, a pinching feeling on one boob more than the other. Dd does writhe sometimes, she can be a bit windy and a fart seems to settle her momentarily, I also switch sides a lot.

OP posts:

Original poster

flymo79 · 16/09/2014 05:52

Oh and am sussex not wales... Dd is generally well other than a cold which just started today

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lucidlady · 16/09/2014 07:46

Sorry to hear you're having such a crap time. What would happen if you kept her on the same boob until it was empty? Just wondering whether that would help with supply, as that's what my MW told me to do (DS is 1 week old).

Quodlibet · 16/09/2014 08:35

OP, I'm not an expert but I think there are lots of things you could try before resorting to formula. You could try 'switch nursing'. You could pump after every feed. You need your latch checked properly by an expert. Do you have any private lactation consultants in your area? Any milk spots? BF can be hard to crack initially but a bit of dogged persistence and expert assistance can turn things around.

Is baby producing wet and dirty nappies, generally alert?

RedKites · 16/09/2014 08:43

In addition to the things Quodlibet mentions, you could also look into breast compressions. I'm out right now so can't link, but you should be able to find via google. If not, say, and I will find a link later. Also, how often is she feeding?

Original poster

flymo79 · 16/09/2014 08:55

Thanks all , I do switch boobs as she can be fussy and this tends to be the only way to get her to settle. I express after two feeds a day. I also do compressions when I can! Really am trying most things but it hasn't made a difference in a week, no weight gain since last tues. I also monitor her nappies, she had one dirty, sometimes two a day and plenty of wet. She feeds every couple of hours

OP posts:

Quodlibet · 16/09/2014 09:04

Might she be settling into her natural weight? I've heard of that as an explanation for no gain, too - a baby starts off on the high centiles but then slims down a bit after birth. I'd try to get another medical expert opinion OP (I know you are trying).

Also are you taking fenugreek to boost supply?

allisgood1 · 16/09/2014 09:23

Is she happy in herself?

OP I would be inclined to see a lactation consultant privately if you can or a pead before giving formula, especially as you don't want to.

I was bullied told by HV that dd needed formula top ups because she had slid from 90th centile to 9th to 2nd. We saw a pead who said they weren't concerned as she had plenty of wet and dirty nappies and was a happy baby. She's now a tall lean 5 year old who was just born big and settling into her natural size. Having said that I don't recommend you ignore the medical advice given, but please do get a second and maybe third opinion before resorting to ff which you aren't comfortable with.

allisgood1 · 16/09/2014 09:25

Meant to add I didn't do the top ups in the end and EBF for a year
And there are other options...

Original poster

flymo79 · 16/09/2014 12:31

Please give me other options!! She is happy generally, I think anyway....

OP posts:

Vacillating · 16/09/2014 12:42

So op is your baby still 8% below birthweight at five weeks?

If so then this is usual and most likely to be because your baby hasn't been getting enough milk. Ffs at this point make great sense especially as you are working hard and know about feeding frequently, switch nursing and breast compressions. If nothing changes then your baby is likely to stay underweight.

To increase your supply rent a hospital grade double pump and pump as often as you can.

Investigate whether your baby is tongue tied with someone who knows.

Get your thyroid and iron levels checked

Investigate causes of why your body might struggle - did you have a big bleed, retained placenta, pikycycstic ovaries

Investigate domperidone and whether you want to use it as a method of increasing supply.

Ask whether there is an infant feeding specialist at your local hospital.

Good luck- sorry Your Hv was so horrid(

Vacillating · 16/09/2014 12:43

Sorry I meant this is unusual!

Vacillating · 16/09/2014 12:45

Settling into natural weight patterns doesn't happen like this. Babies still come back to birth weight and then slow down over time

allisgood1 · 16/09/2014 15:10

"Other options" at this stage would one second a third opinions by well qualified and respected experts in the field.

tiktok · 16/09/2014 15:39

flymo, is there any way you can get some expert observation and opinion? It's really not good that she is still below birthweight at this age and not gaining....really, your HV should have referred you before now to expert help and opinion.

It may be she actually needs more formula at this stage to ensure she has the energy to feed more effectively on the breast, but no one on a talkboard can assess this.

You can then maintain bf alongside this and aim for full bf when you turn the corner.

This has not much to do with centiles, and the sort of scenarios people are sharing here do not necessarily apply to you.

Real life help is what's going to sort out your options. If you have left messages for the lactation consultant and she has not got back to you, try someone else.

Original poster

flymo79 · 16/09/2014 17:23

Thanks. I specifically asked HV for expert advice. So angry I have to do all this research myself. Anyway, I'm not being belligerent about ff, I am giving it to dd, I just don't want to balls up my supply.

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NickyEds · 16/09/2014 18:08

So sorry op. It's crap when it doesn't seem to be working and the lack of rl support must be very frustrating.

I hear the kind of "don't worry about slow weight gain-some babies are just tiny" advice on mn a lot and of course it may be true but, it is a worry.

Have you tried LLL? I don't know about your area but in mine they had peer supporters who would come out to see you at home. I found them through a local mums group on Netmums. They are particularly good at bf support with a view to returning to ebf.

Leave more messages with the Lactation Consultant or try and find someone else. Your hv is letting you down and not doing her job properly so ring them again too. Ff doesn't mean the end of bf or that ebf can't happen so if I were you I'd continue ff to get your baby putting on weight.

Littlef00t · 16/09/2014 20:39

Are you taking any supplements for low supply? My cousin found fenugreek really helped, but you can also get prescribes something.

Does your local children's centre have a breastfeeding drop in session?
Does your hospital have breastfeeding support?

GinGinGin · 16/09/2014 21:32

Sorry Flymo, been a busy day! Agree with Tiktok in that you do need RL advice here, but just one question - has your dd been checked for tongue/lip-tie at all? Also, the pinching feeling you're getting is not normal & I think you really should push this point to your HV. I appreciate how rubbish it is to have to fight for support, but unfortunately sometimes you have to

GinGinGin · 16/09/2014 21:32

Original poster

flymo79 · 17/09/2014 02:24

Thanks again for advice. Yes dd has been checked for TT/lip tie, midwives and doc all say none. I would like a third opinion though. Not taking fenugreek (yet) but have been drinking mothers milk tea till I stink of curry, will look for supplements tomorrow

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