Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

Original poster

To feed or not to feed?

19 replies

Smiler2 · 07/04/2004 11:15

Does anyone else (esp breastfeeders) feed baby when tired and cranky to get baby to settle?

Sometimes am aware that dd is tired but she often won't settle unless fed. Am worried I'm overfeeding and not sure if it's sensible to always offer food whenever she's upset. Especially if we're out, usually feed to avoid others having to listen to her howling - though as I say I'm sure that sometimes what she really needs is a sleep.

OP posts:

hercules · 07/04/2004 11:37

Bf is not just food but comfort also so dont woory about overfeeding just go with the flow.

dinosaur · 07/04/2004 11:40

Smiler2 my DS2 seemed to want to comfort-feed a lot - he had his little legs in plaster-casts so I just went along with it as I thought he needed the comfort - if you are happy with feeding him a lot then I wouldn't worry about it. I certainly found with DS2 that the post baby fat just dropped off, so that was a definite advantage.

BTW DS2 was not particularly hard to wean off the breast, and did learn to settle himself to sleep etc. so don't worry that you are storing up problems for yourself.

twiglett · 07/04/2004 12:02

message withdrawn

elliott · 07/04/2004 12:51

I do! I think its a perfectly natural thing to do - helps them relax and makes sure they're going to sleep without a completely empty tummy. I do make sure that not all sleeps are immediately preceded by a feed, and ds2 is always put down in his cot awake (I don't feed to sleep, just to help wind down)

Original poster

Smiler2 · 07/04/2004 15:32

Brilliant feedback!

DD is just over 4 months now so was wondering if I was starting to create bad habits but feel much reassured by what everyone has said. Think she does often suck for comfort at those times and perhaps isn't getting much food - hard to tell when bf of course! I don't mind at all offering her the boob when she's cranky and as long as other people have done this and not had huge problems later then I'll just carry on. Mumsnet to the rescue again!

OP posts:

mears · 07/04/2004 18:39

I always fed mine, especially when they were cranky. That was the beauty of breastfeeding - total comfort for a baby. The breast should not just be viewed as a milk giver, it is a comfort giver as well. I always fed them to sleep before bed as well and did not have night problems. Feed and enjoy

Clayhead · 07/04/2004 19:13

I often 'fed' (as in put her on the breast) dd to calm her/for comfort and she is now a 2 year old who goes to bed happily by herself. I did it often until about 7 months and then for a few days when she was 11 months an dquite poorly; I had a lot of people telling me I was giving her bad habits, ignored them, had a happy baby and a happy me. At 12 months she decided not to bf anymore and hasn't since. I would do whatever your gut feel tells you and if that is to comfort your baby at the breast, go for it!

toddlerbob · 07/04/2004 22:04

yes I did and still do if I have to, but I think you get better at doing something before the crankiness starts and so do it less and less. I'd never let ds get wound up when I have a way to nip it in the bud.

bloggs · 08/04/2004 00:05

I've got three kids (youngest 2 months, oldest 4yrs) and I've breastfed all of them. I've always thought that being able to shut them up when necessary is one of the bonuses of breast feeding. That, and no bottle warmimg at 2am.

kiwicath · 08/04/2004 08:24

My littlin is 13 weeks and I do offer boob when he's cranky. He often takes a few sucks then unlatchs but stays nestled close with nipple up nose or in eye??? - he dosen't seem to mind. Avoided doing it for ages as figured I'd be creating bad habits but he doesn't do it all and if he finds something more interesting to do, he'll do that. If he's been passed around or gooed at too much, he knows that he can come to mums breast and be left alone to wind down. Like Elliot said though, I never feed him to sleep. Change his nap which usually rouses him then pop him into bed awake so he knows where he is and what's on the agenda. Go for it

Bozza · 08/04/2004 09:50

Think you'd know if you were overfeeding because most of it would be regurgitated over your shoulder.

elliott · 08/04/2004 11:41

actually my 'not feeding to sleep' is not really a plan, I just don't seem to have babies that fall asleep that way! Ds2 will doze off, certainly, but as soon as I unlatch and move him to the cot he's awake again.

Pook · 08/04/2004 15:02

I also often feed dd (8months) to sleep (a heinous sin, according to my health visitor). It's just that sometimes, for whatever reason, she finds it difficult to just let go and have her daytime naps, which I know she really needs. At night she's always fed to sleep, and while I thought this might have caused problems with her sleeping through (or not, as the case then was) I think it was just an age thing, and she's sort of learnt how to settle herself during the night all on her own, the little love.
I can't think of anything nicer for a baby than a nice comforting boob to drift off to sleep with. And I've always thought that this was the ultimate advantage of breastfeeding, because you can give comfort feeds as and when really necessary and I don't think you can really do the same with bottles.

suedonim · 08/04/2004 17:51

Comfort feeding is a huge bonus, in my book, and a major reason why I wanted to succeed at bfing after a disasterous first attempt. It's wonderful to have something that makes them so happy, so easily. Dd eventually found her thumb was also useful for comfort and she gave up bfing at around 2yo.

Original poster

Smiler2 · 08/04/2004 21:25

Bozza, you're right - hadn't thought that if I really was overfeedng it's come straight back up, which, actually, it never ever does - she's always been great about that.

Pook - until now had really just thought that breastfeeding = food and hadn't thought that it has another very important comfort purpose so was refreshing to see your view - and everyone else's comments . As you say it's not something you can do with bottlefeeding so am pleased again that I persevered with the bf.

BTW, why is this not mentioned by midwives/hv/etc in pregnancy? Someone should say, This is a great way for your baby to feel comforted if ill/tired. All I remember was lots of reasons why it is nutritionally beter.

OP posts:

hercules · 09/04/2004 09:43

Because smiler you are not allowed to make anyone who bottlefeeds feel guilty!

hercules · 09/04/2004 09:56

Although I have to admit I dont believe for onesecond that breastfeeding creates a closer relationship as ds was bf for a long time and has from day one been a daddies boy. The bf made no difference whats so ever.

Pook · 10/04/2004 08:58

My SIL didn't b'feed her ds1, but did her ds2. My MIL (not a b/feeder) has always maintained that sil's ds2 is a clingy mummy's boy as a result of being b/fed! Seems a bit harsh to me. Personally I'd rather dd was attached to me that entirely diffident. And I've found feeding to be invaluable post-immunisation (actually during one of the set of jabs) and when she's been ill. I find it comforting, because I''m not the most confident mum, to have a back up plan in case all other distractions fail to settle her.

littleayla · 04/07/2004 15:03

Im so glad to hear of others who breastfeed to sleep and have no probs at night with babes getting back to sleep. My 5 mnth old has always nodded of before going into bed and now if she does wake at night I can talk her to sleep again.She so happy like this, I felt guilty for a bit and tried to put her down drowsy and she would have hysterics. We live in Turkey, the weather is so hot that if she gets stressed she soon starts sweating and gets even unhappier. Its also not very socially acceptable here to let your baby cry and as I live next door toı my hausbands family it causes a lot of stress for me if I try cc as they all end up on my doorstep wonderişng whats wrong!

Flip