Fed up, why is BF still hurting?

[FlyLikeABird]

DS is almost 4 weeks old. As with DD I found he fed well for the first day and then the pain started and hasn't left. With DD bf was painful for about 4 weeks, really uncomfortable until 6 weeks and never enjoyable until I gave up at 7 months. I was hoping this time would be easier but it's just the same. It took me 6 months to bond with DD and I don't want that to be the case again.

So I'm much better informed this time and fighting my corner a bit more. I suspect he has posterior TT and possible upper lip tie. It's hard to get a lot of breast in his mouth, the upper lip curls in and goes all white and blistered. He gulps fast to start then is fast asleep after 7-10 mins. I can't get him to relatch when I wake him. He's very windy and does explosive poos frequently.

Does any of this sound normal? The hospital and community midwives and HV all said the latch is perfect. So did a breastfeeding support worker but to be fair she has referred him to the TT clinic at the hospital. It's just all so slow to be sorted (if indeed it can be), the HCPs all make the right noises but can't suggest anything I'm fed up because this is just the same as wirh DD, being told the latch is fine and it shouldn't hurt... but it did.

The pain is under the nipple where it feels like his gum 'bites' me while feeding. It lasts the whole feed and often some time after. I have tried expressing which is much more comfortable and he took the whole bottle (3oz) immediately which is promising should I need to switch.

I would like to BF for a year as I hate the faff of FF but I'm so ready to give up. Although the current cycle of feeding, crying, explosive nappies, more crying, short sleeps then feeding again isn't ideal. DD (17 mths) isnt getting a look in. We have no family to help so the lack of sleep is starting to become an issue too. I know PND (which I have only just got over) is looming for me again

I would recommend if you can going privately to get the tongue tie looked at. I'm not sure where you are based but we saw an amazing lactation consultant at 6 weeks in Leicester, who sorted our tongue tie problem which was missed by midwives, health visitors and a doctor! It was worth every penny as without that fast action I think we would have been resorted to bottle feeding.
If it hurts to feed, something is not right, so get the help you need as quickly as possible. Happy to pass on her details if you need them.

I also think you need to check the TV. Meanwhile it might be worth trying the exaggerated latch. It's very easy to do once you see it and there are videos of it and step by step photos online. It should help the upper lip open around the nipped.

I feel your pain, literally. I'm six weeks in and it's still painful. I have paid to check it's not tongue tie but it might be worth doing that just to rule it in or out sooner. my dd has a top lip tie but I've been assured from different people this won't affect feeding. I'm also being told the latch looks fine but it still hurts. The exaggerated latch does help to get an occasional less painful feed so that might help.

Thanks moonage, I'm in Essex but w

Gah! ... But may be visiting Hinckley and Leicester in a couple of weeks time. If DH sorts out out visit I'll PM you for the details of that's ok.

I've been told we should be seen quite quickly but they took a week to write the referral which posses me off, oh and if there is a posterior TT we'll have to go to Kings so not ideal travelling with a baby and toddler

Thanks booboo I've not heard of that technique before. I had a quick Google and when I'm next on the proper computer rather than phone, I'll watch the videos. That's half the battle, getting the time to look for solutions. It wasn't great today, when one stopped crying the other started, little monkeys

upandawayy sorry to hear you're having similar problems, I wonder what it is if not TT? I can't fathom why something so natural as BF can be so difficult for some of us. I hope you can find some relief soon

I'll start chasing the referral tomorrow, I don't want to wait any longer especially if it is TT and we have to go to London to get it sorted. Money is so right at the moment as we're on one wage as we chose to have two children close together and I'm staying at home as we can't afford nursery costs for two. We will dip into our savings if it can't be sorted soon though.

Tight not right!

I second going privately, waiting for nhs takes forever. Its well worth ghe money especially if you fear pnd starting again. I had the sort of pain you were describing, the pain just under the the nipple as my dd had tongue tie. I did the exaggerated latch, was the only way i could get dd to latch . Good luck.

Fly this website gives you a list of private people for Essex,

www.tongue-tie.org.uk/find-a-tongue-tie-divider.html

My friend used one for both her DC and it was around £160 for them to come and visit and do it.

Thank you return and vix

I've now got an NHS assessment appointment on Monday so hopefully they will be able to say if it's TT or something else. If it is posterior TT the NHS snip would be at Kings in London so it may be easier to have is sorted privately. If it is anterior they will do it on Monday so FX this gets sorted soon.

The little pudding keeps gaining weight so the HV is not convinced but it's still so uncomfortable even after I stop feeding.

Really feel for you Bird. I hope they sort it out on Monday for you. I've seen no end of people with no solution in sight. I'm so sore when she's feeding and when she's not feeding too. Holding her against me to wind her is agony from the soreness. I wish I didn't care about breastfeeding, I expect you feel the same

Oh no up it must be very disheartening to still be in pain with no solution in sight. Will you continue bf do you think? Even though I had hoped to bf for a year I will switch to ff if I can't get this sorted. The chomping sensation makes me feel sick and it don't want to put up with the discomfort like I did last time.

I know what you mean about the winding too. I was pottering around the kitchen earlier and DH touched my boob and I nearly hit the ceiling and him. I've told him they're out if bounds

I had quite a lot of pain with DD up to 9weeks and it was all latch technique issues. If you eliminate TT as the source of the problem it could be question of the latch in general. I was helped by the exaggerated latch, different positions (especially cradle hold with left breast which was my least painful latch breast and rugby hold with the right breast, and then lying down feeding when DD's head was large enough for this to work comfortably) and also being very strict about a good latch - every time the latch was poor, it would open the baby's mouth and re-establish. This last one can be a bit frustrating and you may end up with a bit of crying rather than feeding but if you are consistent about it you are essentially reinforcing the good latches and discouraging the bad ones so the bay is then more likely to offer good latches to begin with.

My dd gained weight but she had quite a spectacular tongue tie. We paid £100 for someone to come over. No one could properly diagnose dd - they just weren't sure. The private lady pointed it out straight away. (When dd was born the paediatrician spotted it but said it was minor and BF counsellors blamed my positioning!)

I will keep persevering . Sometimes the latch is better but he keeps slipping off (so it can't be that good). It looks so easy on the YouTube videos I've watched and the mums aren't all hunched over in pain or crying!

Thanks for all the tips

bird on a thread I started a kind user badpenny directed me to this www.lowmilksupply.org/latching.shtml

I've actually had a couple of pain free feeds on one side now. I think I was lifting baby and boob up instead of letting her latch where boob naturally hangs so to speak. Also the nipple shaping has helped. It's a very interesting article with lots of things to try. Hope it helps you. It's too early for me to feel hopeful but I've enjoyed my couple of pain free feeds.