Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

Original poster

Dreading it

17 replies

mazzystar · 20/09/2006 21:32

I feel like this is a bit of a confession, but I am already dreading breastfeeding the baby that I'm expecting in February.

I'm totally convinced by all the pro-breastfeeding arguments. Before DS was born I had imagined myself BF for at least a year. Gave up at 5 months. No significant problems but I can honestly say I really hated it.

Don't know what I expect in terms of a reply - but has anyone else felt like this?

OP posts:

Waswondering · 20/09/2006 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anniediv · 20/09/2006 21:34

I hated it too Mazzystar. Did not feel at all natural to me, which I know is weird, but there you go.

kayzed · 20/09/2006 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountTo10 · 20/09/2006 21:38

mazzy you won't know how you feel until nubie comes along so as easy as it is for me to say, try not to put too much pressure on yourself and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. I remember making myself nearly ill with stress after having my lo as the bf wasn't working and I just felt so guilty - the difference in me once I let go and went to combination and then bottle feeding was amazing. You're a person too remember and you've got to do what feels right for both of you.

nothercules · 20/09/2006 21:39

then dont do it! Your baby wont mind. It is okay not to.

Drusilla · 20/09/2006 21:52

I hated it too. But only felt able to admit that once I stopped. I looked forward to it so much as well but just hated the feeling.

moondog · 20/09/2006 21:54

Mazzt,although I'm as pro bf as you can get,I was not a natural.With dd it was hard work (all 21/2 years of it!) but with ds (11 months) it was lovely.

For me,I felt I had a moral duty to do it.

sweetkitty · 20/09/2006 21:59

MS - there are days when I just want to say "get off me" and I love BFing most of the time.

If you really can't face it then don't do it and please don't beat yourself up about it.

Another way is to literally take one day at a time, say I'll BF for 6 weeks then see how you feel after that six weeks is up. Or another alternative is mixed feeding?

Original poster

mazzystar · 20/09/2006 22:14

Moondog - a moral duty - that's kind of how i think about it. but of course that is a massive conflict with how i actually feel.

Why I hated it? The feeling that my body was not my own. The feeling of exposing myself (even though I wasn't). With DS, his enormous gusto (the community midwife who saw him latch on at @8 days actually said "Oh My God he's like a piranha"), though he never bit and it never hurt.

Aargh I'm feeling guilty about a decision that I may not even make.

OP posts:

alibobble · 20/09/2006 22:25

(Also see my comment on the tread "How long did u breast feed and why did you give up) I have a lovely and wonderful friend who helped me with my decision to give up breast feeding dd after 10 weeks. I felt I was obliged to do it but my hating of bf (for reasons outlined on other thread) were actually leading me to hate being with dd. I thought it was meant to bond you but it was actually doing our relationship harm. Now I am pro BF and I would try again with further tiny people but I now bond far better with DD armed with a bottle than the constant fight and also the fact that I couldn't BF without a million pillows so couldn't actually leave the house if she needed feeding anytime soon. You have to decide what's right for you. I have to say that only when I gave up did I realise what a toll it was on me physically and emotionally. Feel much beta now. Is down to you and what you think is best. Hope that makes sense. Sorry for monster post!

moondog · 20/09/2006 22:26

Mazzy I know just how you feel.My dd was like a vampire.Tbh I was scared of her and her voracious appetite.

I would suggest you try and see how you get on.So difficult to think of it in abstract turns,but once I started,would sooner have cut my throat than deny her her birthright (sorry,not trying to lay on the guilt,just telling you how I felt)

I figureI do a lot out of duty that is a bit tedious.Hell,why else would I go to the gym three times a week!

3andnomore · 20/09/2006 22:28

Just wait and see...with all my 3 emotionas and easilness of bf was very different!

JennyLee · 20/09/2006 22:37

I know what you mean I was a fanatic about bf and did it untill my ds started biting all the time and in the end I could not stand him hear my breast and I could not bear to let him latch and would keep pulling away from him , could not do it as I was so scared of the pain and he really bit every time once he started so, my memory of bf is of pain even though I did it fine for nearly a year, and I am dreading one day if I have another baby the thought of having to bf but I know for me I would have to try as I feel so strongly about it, (is only an opinion) I guess you can try it and if it is too much then stop. having a newborn is difficult enough. either way your baby will grow up okay. but I know what you mean, thinking of the latching and the soreness, thirst etc can get you down, try to not think of it lol

kayzed · 21/09/2006 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clairemow · 21/09/2006 09:10

Mazzystar, I bf DS1 for 6 months, and although it was never painful or problematic, I just didn't get the mushy feeling about it that lots of people talk about. I kept going because I wanted to get to 6 months (every month, I told myself I'd just do one more month..) and I was also convinced it was best for DS.

I had DS2 3 weeks ago, and can honestly say that I am enjoying it so much more this time. DS2 feeds pretty quickly, latches on easily and it all seems so much less stressful. I think that second time round, I am so much more relaxed about everything, that he is much more relaxed as a result.

So it won't necessarily be the same as your first time round. If you can, stop thinking about it and just take it as it comes when LO arrives. You don't have to decide anything until then.

WeaselMum · 21/09/2006 09:20

hi Mazzystar (love your name btw). Congratulations on your baby - hope all goes well for you.

I gave up bf ds at just four weeks. I did have some problems, which I won't go into, but also couldn't believe that I didn't love it. It had been the one thing I'd looked forward to most about having a baby (as well as considering it a moral duty!). I hated it most of the time and was desperate to have my body back (believe me, not a phrase I ever thought I'd use!). I want to have a second child but believe it or not I am so afraid of my feelings about bf that I may not. I also don't want to "fail" again if you know what I mean.

I think the advice that has been given below about taking it one step at a time - even one day at a time - is really good. You might find it's a totally different experience this time around. I hope so.

milward · 21/09/2006 09:23

mazzystar - see how it goes. If you don't like it & want to stop don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself permission to go with how you feel xxx

Flip