If you didn't breastfeed all of your children......

[needtobediscreet]

....how do you feel about formula feeding the others? I ask, because I so often read on here about mums 'succeeding' in BF subsequent children, after 'failing' with their first, or not even trying. (Sometimes the birth order and feeding outcome is different but it's usually that way.) Often these mums feel very happy to have BF their child(ren) successfully and seem to be extra pleased because they didn't BF their other child(ren) and were disappointed by that.

I find the psychology of these situations interesting, I mean, when you know that one or more of your children has been given something which apparently will make them much healthier, more intelligent and more bonded to you, which their siblings were not. Do you feel guilty? Do you notice differences in your children's health and relationship with you? Does it make a difference whether you chose not to breastfeed or were not able to? Does it make a difference if you breastfed them for different amounts of time? Does it matter whether you EBF or mix fed?

I think it's just one of many, many things you may not be able to do equally for all your children.

You do the best for each one according to your abilities/knowledge/ beliefs at the time.

I really struggled with BF DS right from the start, he lost loads of weight and regained it really slowly by 6 weeks old my choices were to admit him to hospital or mix feeding, I mix fed him for about 5 months. It was horribly stressful and I felt really bad about it all for ages.

With DD I decided to skip all the stress and FF.

They're 18 and 14, no difference in health, bonding, intelligence.

Guilty, no, but I am still really angry about the lack of support for breastfeeding which sabotaged my efforts with DC1.

I can't believe there are people who still think bf is a choice that is respected and supported in the NHS - at the first sign of problems they simply advised formula feeding (and I am talking about midwives, paediatricians and GPs here). Only one midwife supported me - she was the infant feeding specialist and only worked part time.

With DC2 it started out exactly the same but I knew immediately that there was a problem and called in the help and support I had set up in advance (first time I had been signed up with the NCT thanks to advice from my GP but they never even picked up the phone when I needed help).

And now I'm supposed to feel guilty? I don't think so!

I don't feel in the least guilty. DD1 hated BFing and DD2 loved it.

They are very different characters. They find love, security and attachment to their parents in very different ways.

I ebf my first for seven weeks but was hallucinating with exhaustion and anxiety and so switched to formula. I am ebf my four month old and will probably continue.
Feel guilty about my son? No
He is very healthy and I did what I needs to. I totally resent the pressure put on women to bf and the judging behaviour of some women towards those who formula feed. It has become a modern day bullying tactic.
Stats show that most women try to bf but some can't. These women should be supported. Let's face it, millions of babies have thrived on formula!